Sore feet and simple things

Chapter 5

This was probably the longest time in Lisa's life. Not only did she have to fight the constant urge to call Ethan, write him or even send him a letter, some kind of sign to signal to him that she is thinking of him, missing him and wants to see him again, she also had to hide from her wife, an impossible thing but important nonetheless. Because no matter how often she thinks about it, she cannot find a way to break up with Maddison with a clear conscience. How can she break up with someone she loves? But the decision is made and to her shame, she had to realize that Lisa would prefer Ethan to do the job. With his charming smile and stunning looks, even her wife could not resist him and Lisa would not have to break her heart. But that is exactly her job and the only consolation is that she can postpone this duty until later.

For now, she has to concentrate fully on showing Ethan that she is the perfect choice to share his life with her, a task that is no less frightening for Lisa, but which fills her stomach with joyful anticipation and makes her fingertips tingle.

The sun has already set and only the last rays are shining over the roofs of the city while the lights are already coming on in the streets below. The warmth of the day is still present and Lisa doesn't shiver in her wide red summer dress with the white flowers on it. That's good, because she has to concentrate on not tripping on the cobblestones in her high heels and losing her small white handbag that hangs playfully over her shoulder.

In the two and a half hours that she spent in front of the mirror, trying on several outfits until she found the right one, the young woman kept asking herself what type of man Ethan might be. The long-sleeved white shirt with the flowers on it was too chaste for her taste and the straight top that ties up under her breasts was too whorish. Lisa knows about her body, a detail that Maddison won't let her forget, but today everything has to be perfect. Only Lisa doesn't know what perfect means for her beloved Ethan.

Finally, she decided to take the middle path and put most of her attention into her hair, a routine she already mastered. Stick with what you know and excel in that, she thought to herself, but now she's not sure whether she shouldn't have dressed more riskly. She quickly looks around, there's no chance that no one will catch her, but the restaurant where Ethan wanted to meet isn't far away and she doesn't have time. She came on foot in the hope that he might accompany her home, take her upstairs, go to the bedroom with her and... But that's stupid. Men like Ethan earned to be convinced by their ladies with their bodies and minds and Lisa wants nothing more than for him to see her as the best choice for what he wants to do with her. And what that is, Lisa doesn't know. And that frightens her, is she willing to do anything for him though and she knows that there is no guarantee for him being gentle with her. And then there's Maddison, a detail she doesn't want to think about. And now she's standing in front of the restaurant, her feet hurt in her silly little red shoes and she's so nervous about her looks. Her fingers quickly run under the fabric of her dress, just like under the blue bra she is wearing, and press lightly into the flesh of her breasts. Quickly and skillfully she pulls them up and presents her cleavage to the world. She can't change anything about her underwear now, but if she finds the time, she will quickly go to the restroom in the restaurant and pull down the straps of her bra to...

But what if he wants me to be chaste? He knows that I'm a lesbian. Maybe he wants me to be innocent? Maybe I should...

But all thoughts are in vain when Lisa sees the entrance to the restaurant... And Ethan.

Her great love is already standing in front of the entrance, her hands in his beige jacket whose sleeves are a little too long, just like the legs of his blue jeans. Lisa absorbs the information for half a second, then she loses herself in the boy's eyes and her heart starts beating faster. Her lips tingle, as do her fingers, and she grips the strap of her purse tighter as she checks her dress one last time, hoping it doesn't sit too high above her knees or too low below her ass. Then his eyes fall on her and the young lesbian can't help but let out a wanton squeak.

He is just so perfect. First, he recognizes her, then his eyes widen when he sees her outfit. Lisa hurries to come to him and wobbles across the street on her high heels, luckily not forgetting to look left and right. As much as she is enchanted by the fantasy of Ethan taking care of her, not even someone as nervous as Lisa would tell such a story. And besides, since the text messages from him, she has had completely different fantasies of Ethan and Lisa in a hospital, at night, hand in hand while Lisa gives her husband twins, a boy and a girl. The boy is born first, Lisa gives her husband an heir, then, a few minutes later, in pain that Ethan kisses away, she gives birth to his son's little sister. And Ethan is happy and kisses Lisa on the mouth and...

She stands in front of him and the sight of him throws her off balance. It's not just her feet, her whole world shifts - just like it already did - and Lisa loses her balance - just like she is right now.

And Ethan catches her.

"Oops," he grins with a slightly surprised face. "Everything OK?"

"'elloh," Lisa whispers and tries to remember how to speak basic words. But it's so hard while he holds her in his arms like a gentleman. His face is so beautiful, the worried look for her and the slight smile, just like the blush in his cheeks when he realizes that he is holding Lisa in his arms. A perfect moment that she wishes would last forever.

"Everything OK?"

But unfortunately, Ethan puts her back on her feet and her jaw muscles tense a little. But she understands, her task still exists, her duty to Ethan and Lisa can't afford to become weak now and lose herself in... those perfect... eyes...

"Yes," she finally nods. "Sorry. Those darn shoes.” Ethan looks down at her body and it’s as if he’s seeing one of the wonders of this world for the first time. Lisa can’t believe it, she’s never been looked at like that before.

“You look stunning,” he says finally and lets his gaze wander upwards again. For a brief moment, they rest on her breasts, which, thanks to her efforts, are cheekily thrust out towards him. For a moment Lisa feels pure pride, then she realizes that she has already overcome the first hurdle. Ethan imagines her naked.

Yes! I’ve been working towards that! Lisa, you little horny lesbian, you really have it in you!

And Ethan really is a gentleman. His gaze wanders back to her face but Lisa sees the red on his cheeks. It’s as if the pieces fit together without her having to make any effort and Lisa realizes that Ethan will actually give her a chance to prove to him that she belongs to him.

So joyful anticipation mixes with the nervousness of being in the presence of such an impressive person.

But don’t let things get too slacky, she admonishes herself. Right. He’d stared at your boobs. What now? Let him touch them? Here? Would I… Who am I kidding? Definitely don’t turn around and hide yourself. You want this, him, looking at you sexually. Maybe some little hind? The middle ground?

“Do you like them?” she asks, holding her breath. She has done it, for the first time in her life. She has allowed a man to look at her sexually. Not that Ethan needs permission, he can do whatever he wants with her, but his reaction just shows her again what a perfect person he is.

“They... like really... look great,” he says, closing his eyes and only opening them again when he looks at her shoes. “But if they’re uncomfortable… then…” Lisa watches with excitement as Ethan struggles with himself. "Should we go in?" She almost expected him to do something perverse, something that Maddison and her friends had warned her about. But Ethan is not that kind of person and Lisa's lips twist into a warm smile. "Yes, please. That would be nice." She wants to ask herself whether he doesn't like her breasts and the first waves of negative feelings wash over the woman in love. Doesn't he like them? Doesn't he like me? What could I have done differently? Her breathing quickens and she wants to ask him what she can do better, but then she feels his hand on her upper arm.

"May I." But it is not a question and his jaw muscles work hard as he gently supports Lisa and leads her to the entrance. The young woman could not answer anyway and can not form the word 'thank you' if her life depended on it, can only stare lovingly at Ethan as he leads her to the entrance door. And she presses her breasts against his arm, subconsciously, as if it were the most normal thing.

"There. Here you go. Please sit down." Lisa feels as if she is floating. Like a gentleman, he has led her through the entrance door and now he pulls back her chair and waits until she has sat down. Then he sits opposite her, looking into the restaurant.

He wants to protect me, Lisa realizes and presses her legs together under the table. Even she did not expect so many green flags in such a short time and so she just watches as Ethan pulls the menus over.

"Here," he says, but Lisa does not react, just continues to adore him. "Lisa?"

"Yes," she says quickly and reaches for the menu.

I'm going to marry this man and if it's the last thing I do, she thinks to herself and finds a determination, fed by her love, that partially displaces her nervousness. I'm going to marry him and give him everything he could ever want. Children? As many as he wants. Or no children. I'll work for him in any shitty job or he'll leave me at home as... what do you call it... trophy wife? His wife. Yes.

"Everything OK?" His gaze is half-hidden behind the menu as if he doesn't really dare to speak to her. Lisa shakes her head quickly, then nods.

"Yes. Yes, everything's OK. I was just... thinking..." How can she tell him that she imagines a whole life with him? This is their first date for god's sake. His own words. They've known each other for maybe two hours. This is all just as crazy as it feels right. On the one hand, what she wants is completely wrong, everyone would warn her against making these decisions, even Ethan, she is sure of that. But she wants it. It doesn't feel like an addiction, something you know is wrong but you have no other choice. Lisa Hendricks has a choice and she made it. She chose Ethan. And it is so simple in her head, the simplest solution to the biggest problem. But she can't tell him that.

Because Lisa recognizes something she was not able to do before. And it embarrasses her.

"Doubts?" asks Ethan and lowers the menu. He smiles at her and Lisa falls in love with him again and again, his smile, his looks, his voice, everything. Everything about him feels right.

But he doesn't believe it. Her eyes widen a little, her back straightens and her legs relax, no longer rubbing nervously against each other but resting lightly on top of each other. Here she sits, young, beautiful, nervous and so infinitely in love. But she knows where she stands. She sees Ethan in front of her, sees him in her future and in her present. But there he looks different than in the smart suit at their wedding.

He doesn't believe it, Lisa realizes as her pupils dilate in shock. She manages not to react to this realization as Ethan looks at her with a smile, the card limp in his hands. He thinks I'm lying to him. He has never experienced anything like this and... And he... Unlike Lisa, Ethan doesn't have the luxury of this incredibly intense feeling of love. He is alone.

It's true, Lisa hasn't known Ethan for long. But she realizes that. And she has heard enough stories from Maddison, her friends - all lesbians and feminists. Lisa always smiled at that, but now she sees it in his eyes. Ethan can't imagine that someone like Lisa could find him attractive, could... love him. She doesn't know why, who did it, but she sees that her feelings, as captivating as they are for her, don't have the same effect on Ethan. No matter how sure she is of her decision, Ethan is in free fall.

Lisa thought she was the one whose world was turned upside down, but she has found a way. Ethan's world, on the other hand, is falling apart.

"Oh… Oh Ethan…" She quickly lowers her menu, leaves it carelessly on the table and turns to her great love.

"It would be okay," he says and smiles, just as warmly and kindly as he did before. And Lisa realizes that it is a defense mechanism. Has it been like this all this time? Or just now? But there is no time to think. "Otherwise I would have been worried." That smile again.

Lisa shakes her head. All her nervousness falls away. She is a lesbian and has no idea about boys. She is married but wants to separate. Anything for this boy. Lisa knows what she wants, there is no reason to be nervous. And so she can concentrate fully on Ethan.

"No, Ethan," she says calmly, her voice full of self-assurance, warmth and patience. "I have never been so sure in my life."

"Okay... Yes? Okay... Then..." He rubs the back of his head as he comes to terms with having to 'put up with' the crazy Asian lesbian woman a little longer.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Lisa asks, feeling good.

"Of course." And now it is she who smiles, perhaps not in the loving way that she would like to live out so much, but perhaps in exactly the same way that Ethan is doing right now. "This is our first date and I can already say that I would like to have a second one with you. I really liked that you helped me with those shoes. I wanted to look good for you and didn't think too much about it. So thank you for your help."

"Okay... Yes... You're welcome." He smiles. Maybe a little warmer? Lisa continues.

"So how about you show me the best things to order here and we just have a nice evening?"

"That's a fabulous idea," laughs Ethan, his shoulders visibly relaxing as his face shows her his grinning teeth.

Yes, she thinks to herself. That's much better. And hey, if I don't screw it up, I'll get a second date. And then... No, don't think about that now. But maybe... Isn't it too early for... Well, who cares?

"And I also liked that you liked these," Lisa whispers, resting her elbows on the table, so close together that her breasts almost fall out of her dress. It's a risky move for a well-behaved woman like her, but she likes it and giggles happily with his stunned reaction.

Women have given Lisa many reactions to her breasts, bare or covered. And she has many ideas about what men would feel and say if she were ever interested in men. She isn't. She is interested in Ethan, this one, special man. And he has a really great reaction to her two big breasts, which are heavy and bold between her arms.

My God, I love this man so much...

The next part of their first date goes so perfectly that Lisa begins to wonder if it's her control, the lack of it, or just Ethan. Either way, it's a wonderful time. The two talk. About simple things.

Lisa guides the conversation in what she hopes is a feminine and gentle way. She asks fewer questions and prefers to respond to the approaches Ethan offers her. When he starts talking about his family dog, Lisa is impressed that he has managed to train him to obey his commands.

"The trick is the reward," he says, beaming at the thought of his success. "You have to give him treats to hook him to you and then you need really tasty treats to give him when he does something well."

"And what about punishment?" asks Lisa and leans forward on the table, actually interested. Her breasts flash again but this time she doesn't even notice. She is too engrossed in listening to her love and it doesn't even occur to her to pretend that Ethan is of interest to her. What he says sounds simply wonderful and the way he says it shows her that she has found a place at his side.

"Absolutely not," her (hopefully) soon-to-be boyfriend protests. "That won't do any good. No, positive reinforcement. Like with a child. And like with a child, you have to react before it does something you don't want to."

"So you can raise children and dogs the same? I hadn't thought of that."

"Oh yes. I think so. Okay, everyone raises their children differently. But I think that…” And so he talks about children and Lisa presses her thighs together again, just so she doesn’t bang her delicate fists on the table in joy. Instead, she settles for nibbling her lips and looking him in the eyes, on ate a time,s witching between them while smiling contently. It’s so perfect. Everything is so perfect. He is so perfect.

She listens to his words, nods, laughs, giggles, grins, looks serious, agrees, disagrees, asks questions. Then she suddenly gives her opinion, honestly, spontaneously. And Ethan reacts to it, receives the opinion, accepts it, talks to it, asks questions, laughs, grins.

And then suddenly the waiter is standing in front of them. Lisa has to blink. How long have they been talking? It seemed as if they had been talking for hours.

"What can I bring the happy couple?" Ethan looks at Lisa. She was actually just trying to tell him that big sisters can be good too, something he can't quite understand. She looks at him and waits for him to contradict the waiter, the two are not a couple. But Ethan turns to the young man and orders his noodles.

"What do you want, honey?" But Lisa can't answer.

He didn't contradict. The waiter now thinks we are a couple. Maybe just started dating... in love and... together.

"Lisa?" A flash of lightning flashes through the young woman as he puts his fingers on her hand and without thinking she turns her hand around and takes his in hers.

"I completely forgot to read the menu," she admits without taking her eyes off Ethan. The waiter is probably rolling his eyes inwardly, but she doesn't care.

"I can come back later," he offers, but Lisa shakes her head.

"I'm starving."

"Oh no," Ethan exclaims and grins cheekily. "Then... may I?" For Lisa, it's as if life has come full circle, as if she were back in front of the restaurant, almost falling on her face and safe and sound in his strong arms.

"Hias..." she whimpers and clears her throat. "Yes, please..." Should she dare? But her mouth, her burning desire, the only desire she has, is faster. "Honey." And Ethan smiles.

And orders a pizza for her.

"You'll like it," he assures her. "Hey." With his thumb over the back of her hand, he brings Lisa out of her dream world.

"What?" she asks, dreamily.

"I said you'll like the pizza."

"Yes." She looks dreamily at Ethan, loses herself in his eyes again and forgets what she wanted to say. "I completely forgot what I wanted to say." That... didn't I already say that... God his eyes... and his smile... No! You stupid goose! Concentrate! You mustn't lose yourself or the date might not end well! Stupid Lisa! Stupid Lisa!

"Shit," grins Ethan.

And strokes her cheek.

Flashes of love, passion and lust run through her body, animate her mind, warm her heart... and bathe her lap in fiery water.

"Actually, we were just talking about..." He clears his throat quietly. "Babies." But then his eyes change. Lisa is busy pulling herself together but his movements on her overheated skin make it difficult. She feels hot and cold at the same time and she struggles not to sigh in love but to continue to be a good conversationalist.

"But I think you want to talk about something else."

"What?" That brings Lisa out of her stupor. "No! I want to keep talking about... that..." But Ethan shakes his head and only his encouraging grin keeps Lisa from despairing.

"I think you want to talk to me about your feelings, don't you?" A shy nod, she isn't capable of more. She quickly takes a breath, wants to shout it out, but keeps her mouth shut.

"I don't want to ruin the mood," she murmurs and lowers her head. Then her body sags a little more as Ethan pulls her arm towards him.

"Hey. Look at me." And she succeeds immediately. No matter how sad she is, Ethan has asked for something from her, demanded something, or whatever, and Lisa obeys immediately. "Don't think I don't know what you did for me earlier," he says with a mischievous grin. "That was... by far... the best conversation I've had with a girl in a long time. Thank you for that. You really aren't like the others."

"The others?" But Ethan doesn't say anything, just keeps looking at her intently. "Is... Is that... good... or..." Then he lowers his head, Lisa's hands still in his, while his shoulders twitch wildly with laughter. Then he raises his head again.

"Yes. Lisa. That's something good." She can't help but squeal quietly. "I don't think you're pretending. You're in too good a mood for that." Again that smile, like before, but this time something changes. Lisa's eyes widen when she recognizes it. Something falls off Ethan and underneath it the person Lisa had so hoped was Ethan appears. And she was right. Now the real Ethan is sitting in front of her. "Tell me about it, Lisa. Why do you love me?"