River is fictionalised

The book opened itself back up and River emerged warily. The room was much more basic and uninteresting compared to the factory floor, it was much quieter too, save for a light tapping sound. As River’s vision focused, she found herself staring at a bizarre looking naked woman, before realising that she was actually staring at herself in a mirror.

River was shocked at the results of her factory makeover her face had been painted white and a diamond drawn around her right eye, half her frizzy hair had been dyed red while the other had been dyed green, her bush now looked like a rainbow, and a circular ink logo (with the words: Fantasy Factory written in the middle) had been stamped on each butt cheek. River was in amazement that she could pull off the hideous clown look, but her train of thought was interrupted by a sharp ding behind her.

River turned and saw Barbarella, still stark naked, sitting comfortably in front of a typewriter. Barbarella looked up at the naked archeologist and grinned satisfactorily. “Enjoy my little factory, I hope the arms didn’t hurt.” “Wait, you did that?” “Yeah, the typewriters control everything fictional within the land, the Master was kind enough to lend me one.” “Really, and whatever for,” River feigned interest as she slowly circled closer to the seated Barbarella, preparing to perform her Venusian Aikido once again. “Well the Master has no use for you, and he wanted to test how creative his constructs could get, with storytelling, just in case his plans for the Doctor fail.”

Plans for the Doctor eh? Well there was no probably no need to worry about those, River thought to herself. Her husband was capable enough to get out of a jam, despite his appearance. And she didn’t need to worry about her opponent either, as now River was in attacking distance, Barbarella would be no match for her Venusian muscle block! River lunged forward but somehow her foot twisted and she fell straight into the table. Barbarella had grabbed the typewriter before the table had smashed and she placed it down on a nearby shelf, and typed in another sentence.

“Oh dear, how embarrassing.” Barbarella teased the bewildered River. “How- how is this possible? My form is always impeccable!” River stammered. “Oh it was, but I gave your character a little rewrite, you’re now not only completely harmless, but one of the clumsiest and unluckiest fools this side of the library.” River’s eyes went wide with horror, “Rewrites?!” “Why of course, that factory just didn’t give you a makeover you know, the moment that book closed on you, you became a fictional character, and are now at the mercy of the laws of the land.”

River got up and was about to attack Barbarella when her foot trod on the bottom of a cartoonish rake, sending the wooden pole flying into her face. River clutched her nose in cartoonish pain as she stumbled back and stood on another rake, and was met with a similar response. Barbarella chuckled as she watched the naked professor’s misfortunes, this was going to be fun.