Reed Richards Assumes This Is An Alternate Timeline

"What the hell?" Ben Grimm, the Thing, was the first to find his voice. "You pink bastard, I'll clobber ya—"

"Hold on, chum!" Reed Richards said, stretching out his arms to restrain his rocky friend. "This bloated slut can't be our Sue! We must be in an alternate reality!"

"Huh?" The Thing paused.

Porkum and Sue Storm did not. The Invisible Woman shivered as her hips lewdly rose and fell, her feet on Porkum's knees, her hairy blonde snatch squelching noisily as she continued to rise and fall on Porkum's prick, unable to stop even with her husband, brother, and teammates staring.

"I guess that would explain her bein' so nasty," Ben Grimm said. "But what are we gonna do?"

"We must find our own dimension, Ben," Reed said. "Somewhere out there, Sue Storm waits for us, faithful and demure."

Johnny Storm's hand burst into flame.

"But what about this Sue? We can't just leave her like this, can we?" he said.

"Oh, fuck off!" Porkum grunted. Sue gave a little wail as another flood of mutant jizz splashed against her cervix.

Reed rubbed his jaw.

"Well, in an infinite universe there are almost infinite possibilities. If we save her in this one, that means there's another where we don't...and if we don't save her in this one, that means there's another branching timeline where we do," he said. "Of course, the probabilities of all timelines collapse in on themselves so that nearly adjacent..."

Ben Grimm shrugged free of Reed's coiling arms. He stared at Sue Storm in her eyes.

"Suzy?" he asked. "Where are Franklin and Valeria?"

Her mouth fell open. A brain addled by weeks of Porkum's pheromones struggled to function.

"With...Agatha...Harkness..." she managed.

Ben's blue eyes slid over to Porkum's. There was something in his look that the pig-man did not like.

"And where's your Reed?" Ben asked calmly.

"They...they left and...haven't...come back..." Sue managed.

"And when did you start fucking him?" Ben persisted.

"Don't tell him!" Porkum said, suddenly intuiting the danger.

Sue blinked, then paused. Unable to disobey.

"That tears it," Ben Grimm said. "I don't care what dimension this is, ain't no way I'm leavin' Suzy with some rapist piece o' crap."

One stony mitt closed over Porkum's face. There was a brief scream. A crunch.

"...come on, Ben. I know it looks like it, but this isn't our home." Johnny Storm said.