Burrower of the Deep

The deeper we pushed into the Underdark, the more the hanging stone arcs overhead began to thin. They fractured into jagged spurs and finally gave way to a sizeable cavern floor that stretched out like a forgotten arena carved from the earth itself. Uneven stone littered the ground, surrounded by broken boulders the size of wagons and thick patches of luminescent moss that painted everything in shifting shades of cold blue and violet. The air hung heavier here, damp with deep earth and a faint metallic tang that clung to the back of the throat. Distant drips echoed from unseen ceilings high above filling the silence between our footsteps.

Karlach’s engine thrummed warm and steady at my shoulder, her short skirt swishing against her powerful thighs with each step. Lae’zel marched a few paces ahead, her voluptuous frame filling out the form-fitting leather corset and thigh-high boots with lethal grace, hips swaying, breasts straining the laces. Kagha moved silently to my right, her hourglass silhouette always at the edge of my vision. Shadowheart brought up the rear, close enough that Phalar Aluve’s faint hum tickled the hair on my neck. Her formfitting gown flowed with every step, deep plunging neckline and high slits flashing glimpses of alabaster skin.

I kept my pace steady, but my mind was already ten steps ahead.

This is the exact spot.

I’d run this encounter more times than I cared to count on honor-mode runs, and it had ended more of them than I liked to admit. One of the hardest, most unforgiving fights in the entire game—right up there with some of the nastiest boss battles waiting for us in Act Three.

The Bulette.

It wasn’t a fair fight. Not even close. It could one-shot anyone of us with a sudden bodyslam followed by its massive jaws closing like a steel trap—all while it's armored plates shrugged off most spells.

I knew the ins and outs of this fight better than most. Where it would jump-spawn, its moveset, the way it locked onto the next target with no mercy. No way of ambushing the thing. Someone had to trigger it—and eat the hit in the process. Technically we were strong enough to defeat it, but I did not want a prolonged and punitive fight. A drawn out fight meant more chances that it would decide to jump at me, and here in the Underdark, Withers’ words rang through my head louder than ever. “I cannot return you.” Game over. Permanent.

Just as I finished the thought, a low rumble rolled through the stone beneath our boots. The ground shivered once, then shook harder, rattling loose pebbles across the moss.

Karlach’s engine gave a startled thump. “What the Hells? An earthquake?”

Lae’zel’s hand tightened on her greatsword, yellow eyes scanning the cavern. “The stone speaks. Unnatural.”

Kagha tilted her head in thought. “That felt… alive.”

Shadowheart’s fingers brushed the hilt of Phalar Aluve, voice dry but steady. “If the Underdark is throwing tantrums, I’d rather it not be at me.”

I let the moment hang for half a second, then answered like someone who had memorized a script. “I wish it was just an earthquake.”

Karlach shot me a sideways glance. “Then what the fuck is it, boss?”

The girls slowed, looking to me. I kept walking, eyes locked on the open stretch twenty paces ahead—the spawn point. “There’s a bulette nearby,” I said, keeping my tone light but certain. “A four-legged ground shark monstrosity. By far the worst thing down here. Armored like a fortress, jaws that can crush plate steel, and it senses every vibration through the rock. No hiding from it.”

Lae’zel gave a short, appreciative grunt. “A worthy foe, then.”

Shadowheart’s brow arched for a second before a spark of trust settled in her eyes. “Charming. And I suppose you just happen to know all about this one as well?”

Kagha’s gaze flicked to mine, calm and reassured.

“Let’s just say I’m familiar,” I said, pointing straight ahead to a flat patch of mossy stone. “It’s heard us. It knows we’re here. Guaranteed it’ll burst right out from there and go straight for whoever’s closest. We need to turn its ambush around. Any volunteers?”

The girls exchanged quick glances.

Lae’zel stepped forward first, her plush lips curved with proud hunger. “It is an honor to charge first into the jaws of **** for our leader. Let the beast taste Githyanki steel and learn its place.”

Karlach let out a nervous bark of laughter, rubbing the back of her neck. “Hells no. I’d rather not get turned to paste just as we were going to fix my engine—and I’ve got enough scars as it is.”

Shadowheart gave a soft huff and crossed her arms. “Don’t look at me. I’m the support, remember?”

Kagha moved up beside Lae’zel, voice smooth as spidersilk. “Allow me to be of use. I will gladly take the blow if it is what your plan needs to succeed.”

“Don’t worry,” I told them, sketching the path in my mind. “Lae’zel, you dash straight down that slope there—” I pointed to the gentle decline leading toward a cluster of massive flat-capped mushrooms, each one four meters across and lifted like natural platforms. “It will pounce on you, send you flying straight onto the mushrooms, and probably knock you out cold, but once you’re of the ground it’ll lose track of you completely.”

She gave a single sharp, proud nod. “Understood.”

I turned to the wood elf. “After that it’ll pivot to whoever’s closest—you, Kagha. Stand ten paces ahead of the rest of us. Take the hit. After that… I have a plan.” I let the smug edge creep into my voice.

Shadowheart’s green eyes met mine with a smile and mock sarcasm. “Of course you do.”

Karlach started bobbing in place, eager for another fight. “You’re the boss, Boss.”

Kagha simply offered me her trademark serene smile. “As you say.”

We moved into formation without another word. Lae’zel took the lead. Kagha drifted exactly ten paces ahead of me. Karlach stood at my left, axe gripped tight. Shadowheart stayed close enough that Phalar Aluve’s aura would kiss every strike we threw.

Lae’zel broke into a sprint.

The ground detonated in a violent spray of dirt and shattered rock.

A monstrous shape erupted upward—sleek armored plates the color of wet slate, four powerful legs driving it skyward, massive jaws lined with serrated teeth gleaming in the violet glow. The bulette launched straight at Lae’zel mid-dash, a blur of armored fury. She didn’t flinch. The impact was brutal, bone-jarring. Her body flew in a limp arc and slammed onto the nearest giant mushroom cap. Greatsword clattered beside her. She didn’t move.

The creature snarled, head swinging as it searched for its lost prey. Then its beady eyes locked on Kagha.

It charged again.

Kagha stood serene, rapier raised, Teela coiled and hissing. The landshark slammed into her. Spidersilk fluttered. She folded under the weight and dropped hard into the moss. ****.

Two-fifths of the party down before we’d even swung once.

The bulette shook itself, plates rattling, and turned its full fury on the three of us still standing. A low, guttural snarl rolled out of its throat, vibrating through the cavern floor.

Karlach’s eyes widened. “Hells… you had a plan for this, right, boss?”

Shadowheart stared straight ahead. “Of course he does… right?”

I flexed my fingers. Three Eldritch Blasts coiled and hungry. Spellsparkler warm at my belt and ogre horn already in hand.

“Yup. Time to ring the dinner bell.”