Modelling for Mysterio, Making out with Maria

Yeah, Peter had no idea what he was doing.

It suddenly occurred to him that this entire 'multiverse' thing may have been an elaborate joke set up by Johnny, or Wade, or hell even Tony. Most likely Wade. He'd have access to some sort of Avengers cosplay prostitutes to explain why Felicia, Janet, and the others got all buddy-buddy with him. Or perhaps Wade had access to some multiverse tech again. All an elaborate trap, just to get Peter to dress up like... this.

"Why so shy, Peter?" Asked his long-running villain in a bowl haircut, rapidly taking the picture of his model, "The camera loves you like always, yet you shy from her advances?"

"Sorry, uh, Mr. Beck. I, uh, just feel a little uncomfortable in this... specific outfit."

Quentin turned his head, "Why? Women like the sexy bad boy look. Who is more sexy than the Wolverine?"

Spidey really had no idea how to answer that.

To be dressed up as Logan was perhaps a step too far for Peter's tastes. The smutty Halloween version of him to boot. A tattered white shirt that barely classified as clothing, ripped in a way to really show off the oiled muscled abs underneath. The brown leather jacket over his shoulders hung loosely, a far cry from the tight ripped jeans he had on below that were so tight you could see Spidey Jr and his amazing web filled friends. Arguably just default sexy gear, had it not been for the addition of mutton chops, a cigar, and one set of fake knuckle claws on his left hand.

Leaning up against the motorcycle on the underground photo stage, lights beaming down around him, the man could only imagine what the real Wolverine would think with him dressed like this.

"Peter, you agreed to do this superhero calendar..." Mysterio frowned at him, somehow knowing exactly how to get the man's guilty flaring up.

"I know, I'm sorry Mr. Beck. And I managed to get through the Captain America speedo, and the... places you made me put that fake Thor hammer..." The blasphemous actions of the morning would haunt Peter forever, "It's just... I-I actually knew Lo-Wolverine! Met him at a synagogue."

His employer tilted his head, "Oh? He is Jewish?"

"Kinda. He was only interested for a bit because of his friend Shadowcat. But it was hard to finalise the deal when your, uh, foreskin grows back..." Peter was lying and quipping to save face, but felt just as bad in doing so. Hopefully Logan would understand if these pics ever leaked...

With a shrug, Mysterio seemed nonplussed, "I would not worry about James Howlett, I have his signature here." That made Peter's eyes nearly fall out of his sockets, "He says you would be perfect for the job of capturing his rugged charm. Or, at least I think that's how I should interpret the grunt he gave me as he signed this rights form."

"Wow... I dunno what to say..."

"I am a legit businessman now, Peter. My illusions may have been the stuff of miracles, but I-no, we are earning so much more than any bank heist could ever have accomplished. I'll rue him forever, but alas I still must thank your friend Spider-Man for setting up our expanding business! To think he found me such a perfect and willing model to actually capitalise on the eternal dampness of a woman's panties! Truly a magnificent idea."

Guess Model Peter had his head on straight. Not only giving the women of the world what they so dearly wanted, but also providing a new job and a new life for one of his villains. Peter wished he could do something similar to all his foes, but the lady at Burger King probably wouldn't appreciate Venom rocking up through the door.

"I'm... glad we're doing this together too, Mr. Beck." Peter said with a smile, taking a beat to swallow back all his nerves to add, "Or should I say... bub."

"That's it! That's the Peter I know!" Quentin exclaimed, taking his camera back from his neck and rapidly shooting as fast as he could. "The girls will go wild for these pics! Ohh yes, more teeth! Really snarl at them! Show them a man that could vivisect them, then still have energy to lick!"

Nope, still weird. Hopefully, Pete's next fight with a magic villain would include some memory loss...

Cap, Reed, Thor, Logan, Stephen, Nova, Scott, Tony, himself (weird), Hank, Namor, and Bruce for Christmas. These were the twelve men and twelve costumes that Peter had to be for Mysterio's calendar. Some felt more understandable than others, like Namor in the speedo, while others less so, like having to wear a ruby visor to even be identifiable as Cyclops. But in the end, it was certainly an experience for Peter.

He was currently in Mysterio's shower....

Trust me, the weirdness wasn't lost on Pete.

He was currently in Mysterio's shower. The entire photoshoot had been prepped and ready in the man's underground photo studio under his mansion. Though he was a reformed man, Quentin liked the lavish lifestyle, though he had apparently had a few character-building-character-arcs with the Model version of Peter whenever things had gone too far into the lavish side. Whatever he had done had worked. Mysterio was no more, with only a few memorable posters on his walls of his time as a villain, and a few ironic fishbowls about, to remember him by.

The underground photo studio was a precaution against any female inclined gate crashers. Much easier to keep his top model safe down below his own house than ever setting up a studio somewhere else. Especially when Rhino was your bodyguard. Oh yeah, Rhino was also legit. Turns out a few villains could be reformed if the money is good enough. Peter was convinced the driver of the limo that took him there used to drive a much bigger wheel..

"Peter Parker."

"BAH!"

If not for the prehensile stickiness of a spider, Peter would have slipped over in the shower block rather easily. The sight of the woman who had made vigilante lives torturous during the Civil War would do that to you. Looking as angry as ever, though the jury was out if she actually had a different face to wear.

"I-I know they're all super secret spy stuff, but has SHIELD ever thought of putting a bell on you?"

"Is that it for the day? Are you done?" She asked with a high level of excitement, though also rage, "That blasted Russian horned hooligan has kept me in the viewing booth all day. It was **** to be so close to your open abs, yet only being able to watch..." Her eyes were already drinking in his soaking wet body, with his hands blocking the real prize for now. Maria's lust was evident, placing her forehead longingly against the thin glass door separating them like it was a car window in one of MJ's favourite dramatic movie shlocks, "You are magnificent... do you require anything? Aid in washing your back? Or... f-front?"

This universe just got freakier by the second.

"Uh, actually, I was about to come out before I was... interrupted." He admitted, feeling rather awkward around Maria still, especially while she was staring so much. A determined gaze, not really raging anymore, just a strange dedication to doing what he wished. Like a trained dog needing guidance, "P-pass me a towel? Please?"

As soon as the orders were given, Maria sprung into action. Grabbing all three of Quentin's towels off the rack, folding them neatly, and kneeling to present the pile of options to Peter before he'd even finished turning off the shower. "Whatever you'd like, I shall provide."

He frowned. This was getting both demeaning, and a little sad. As he took the largest towel and secured it around his waist, Peter reached back into the shower and turned it on. Letting the noise of the running water overtake his slightly whispered tone.

"Maria, what are you doing here? Is this a sting operation for SHIELD or something? Is Quentin in trouble?"

She shook her head as she rose to her feet again, "No. Nothing like that. Quentin Beck is an honorable man these days. You don't have to worry about him in this universe." He didn't respond, knowing that she purposefully gave away more info than she initially planned to give. "Yes, I know about your extradimensional origin. While I hope that this universe's Peter Parker is safe, I would be lying if I didn't see the prospect of your arrival with a net positive, for at least womankind. As it seems you are going to be sticking around I made sure to deliver your multiversal clone's phone to you personally."

After Peter sighed at the word 'clone', he thought back to the list of missed calls and texts on that mobile that he only had time to glance through on the limo ride over here.

Most of the missed messages were from Quentin, thankfully. It had only been a week since his arrival here, so no one was declaring him dead or missing. If the other Peter was anything like him this was a fairly normal occurrence for the busy Man of Spider.

But it did raise a point. If he was really gonna pick up where other Peter left off then he'd need to keep up appearances with the main people in their shared lives. May, Jonah, maybe Robbie, Harry if he's still alive, Felicia obviously... and bite the bullet on finding out about a certain red head. To live in another man's shoes would feel wrong, but abandoning the people that he loved and making them grieve for him was also wrong, right? For all the good that old lady had given him, this universe travelling was still far from the easiest ride.

"Alright, well thank you for the phone... but I have to ask, how did you find out about me? Are we... close in this world?"

There was almost an imperceptible conflict going on behind her unbreakable mask for just a second before she answered, "To answer your first question, I found out about you when famous model Peter Parker showed up on Twitter dating multiple Avengers at once." Yup, that would do it, "If you're worried that Richards or Strange blabbed, don't. There were no leaks until we duplicated your phone and Ms. Hardy texted you: 'Does the Felicia in your universe cook dinner in the nude? Hope to see you again soon, Spider. XOXO'"

"Right." He nodded. Honestly he wasn't that surprised, of course Maria Hill had enough knowhow to track him down. It was fucking SHIELD.

"As to our closeness, though I could lie to your equational amnesia, I will be honest and say we are practically strangers. Though..." She trailed off, eyes finding his chest once more with the longing in her eyes returning, "...though I wish it were not the case. If I am to admit something, I am a Peter Parker fan. Your modelling career has truly saved me on many lonely nights. An agent can only watch so much girl-on-girl porn."

Peter blinked, and not just because of the rising condensation in the room, "Wow, Maria. I don't know what to say..." He replied. Peter Parker had never had a fan before, especially one as thoroughly attractive and well defined as Maria Hill. He began pondering her last words more than she would expect, "...hey, how much guy-on-girl porn is there?"

"Practically none, outside of a few videos of a certain blue mutant."

"...wanna change that?"