Dana Jones: Blonde Cheerleader

Dana Jones, blonde, sexy, and queen of the cheerleaders, has always been out of your league. She’s the kind of girl you’ve spent the last four years having wet dreams about, beating your meat to her bikini thirst traps on Instagram, knowing she’d never notice you.

Until now.

It’s just weeks before graduation, and she pulls you aside in the hallway, her cheerleader smile dazzling, her tone dripping with flirtation. “I want you to be my boyfriend,” she says, her words hitting you like a thunderclap. “And marry me after graduation.”

You blink, your brain scrambling to keep up. “You didn’t even look at me once in the last four years, and now you’re saying you want to marry me? What’s going on?”

She sighs, the cheerleader charm slipping just enough to reveal something darker. “Alright, I’ll tell you the truth. Remember how we won that big football game two months ago?”

“Yeah, I do-”

“Well, after the game, I went into the locker room to… reward the boys and the coach.”

“Reward? How-”

She cuts you off, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “I let them run a train on me. The whole football team and the coach. It was so hot, having all those hot, sweaty guys nut inside me, but… I forgot my pills.”

Your stomach sinks. “Does that mean-”

“Yeah,” she says, cutting you off again, this time with a nervous laugh. “I’m two months pregnant, and I have no idea whose baby it is. My parents are hardcore Catholics. They’ll kill me if they find out - or if I get an abortion.”

You stare at her, words failing you.

She leans closer, her tone softening, almost seductive. “So, here’s the deal. I’m asking you to be my boyfriend, claim the baby as yours, and take responsibility. If you do, I’ll be your girlfriend, and you can fuck me anytime you want.”

Your mind reels.

On one hand, this is Dana Jones, the 10/10 cheerleader queen, one of the sexiest girls in your school, and way out of your league. The girl who’s haunted your fantasies for years. You'd never imagined you'd get to be with her, let alone be her boyfriend. Now, she’s offering herself to you on a silver platter.

On the other hand, you’d be signing up to raise a mystery baby conceived during what sounds like the high school football team’s victory parade.

You might be a virgin, but are you **** enough to raise another guy's kid? And it's not just another guy. The entire high school football provided the baby batter for this! Are you really ready to play daddy to the team’s collective oopsie?

Your life, once painfully boring and mediocre, now feels like the plot of a trashy soap opera.

Do you stay on the safe path - remain a virgin for now, bide your time, and wait for some plain 6/10 girl to show up in the future? Or do you take the plunge, claim Dana Jones and all the baggage she’s offering, grabbing hold of a 10/10 dream girl - sloppy seconds and all?

Brach split: what’s it gonna be?

Option 1: Claim the 10/10 cheerleader queen, sloppy seconds or not, signing up to raise another guy’s baby but scoring a girl way out of your league.

Option 2: remain a virgin for now, bide your time, and wait for some plain 6/10 girl to show up in the future.