"I am a slutty little sissy."

_Of course you are._

says the security system.

_I knew you were as soon as you appeared._

"I am not!" you protest, realizing how ridiculous it is to be arguing with a computer. "I just had to say it because it's the password!"

_Actually, it's not. The password is, 'I am Jack Hewitt.'_

You stare at the computer speaker, astonished and infuriated. That's it? That's all the password was? And all this time I was saying one humiliating, degrading thing after another FOR A FUCKING SECURITY COMPUTER??

Shit.

Okay, then, fine.