Physical Exam First

“Can I do the physical exam first?” You ask.

“Of course,” the doctor says. She hands you a hospital gown and you put it on.

The physical exam goes as you would expect they check your pulse, weight, etc. But then they do a Pap smear. It feels so weird and uncomfortable to have someone so close there.

After the examination they go through a checklist of your experiences.

“Did you have sex?” The nurse asks.

“Yes,” you say.

The nurse pauses, “We need you to stay another couple of weeks if at all possible.”

“Why’s that?”

“Um... just a precaution.”

“It was just a simulation.”

“The simulations can feel very real, but there is not a zero percent chance that you will be... uh...”

“Pregnant?!?”

“You see when the cocoon system calibrates it takes blood, stool, and semen samples from you, non-invasively. So it is possible that your sperm sample was used to impregnate you...”

“I need a drink...”

“About that...”

“Fuck!”

A week went by and the doctors had you come in for a pregnancy test. You sat in the exam room waiting patiently.

“I’ve got excellent news!” The doctor says. “You are..”