Part 2

I had never felt less like a shark lawyer than I did then. I slunk out of bed and leaned on the vanity table, staring deep into the mirror.
Who stared back was someone who should be an apex predator. A man-eating demon. But who decidedly wasn’t. What was missing? Those eyes for one. Red eyes in black sclera. They should be an ominous pair of jewels glowing from deep within a shadowy void. How could anyone screw that up? They were jittering around nervously. Confused. Lost in their own home.
Then her pose. Goodness save me. Her figure-eight frame had deflated. Turned into an accordion. One that hung off her spine, and her spine hung off… Well, anything that wasn’t her self-esteem.
I raised my hand. She raised it in tandem. I tapped one of the large elaborate horns, the ones that protruded out of my temples. They looked like black armour, but as soon as I nudged the tip, I shuddered as an erotic surge permeated my body. Yup. Those were the real deal all right. The horns of an unstoppable beast.
I bared my teeth. Glistening white. They resembled human teeth, but ended in jagged points. My canines in particular looked like something you’d find in the maws of a tiger. Yes… When I flashed my smile, whoever saw it it’d be the last they’d ever saw, before their untimely defeat.
I practiced my smile. Different kinds of smiles. I had to be able to seamlessly swap between alluring seductress, cocky go-getter, and your worst nightmare at the drop of a pin.
I took a deep breath, staring deep into the eyes of my reflection, “You can…”

I had to interrupt my self-coach session right there. Someone was knocking at the door. At that hour?
If it wasn’t important, it might be a nice time to practice my menacing domination. I opened the door. A courier in a red kepi stood before me.
“Vanessa L, is it?” He said.
“The one and only.” I gave him a flirtatious smirk, leaning towards him with my hand resting on my hips.
He handed me a vanilla envelope, “A letter for you, Miss L. It’s from all the way back at Lyrewick.”
I knew that seal. It was from Bardelkeep. The orphanage where I grew up. I snatched it off his hand, then pulled out a golden dukat from between my breasts. With a flick of my thumb, I flung it at him. Bumped the door shut with my hips before he got the chance to utter a word.

Now there’s a surprise. Didn’t think I’d hear from that place again. I thought I left that dump behind. I didn’t even know Order mail could reach all the way here out in Monster Boonies.
I flipped it around, turning it. Looking at it from every angle. Guess I was looking for some clue what they could’ve wanted. Didn’t make me so much as a smudge wiser. No idea what I was expecting. Well, there was only one thing left to do.
I dug one of my claws into the canvas, and scratched it open. There really was a letter inside. No idea why I was surprised. I read it.

My darling Nessie,

I do so hope this letter finds you well and that you’ve been eating contently. It’s not quite been the same since you left, but no need to worry about us, since we trudge along just fine, same as we always have.
Now, I’m so sorry to tell you this, and I wish there was a better way to break it down, but for the love of me, I can’t think of a single alternative, so forgive me now but I’m just going to be just blurt it out and say that sadly head-mistress Chalky passed away only two weeks ago. Everyone was present to say good-bye and be with her to the end. She was surrounded by the children she took care of until her last moment. Now, I know some of you kids saw her as somewhat uptight, and for the life of me I cannot say she did not have high expectations for her children, and wasn’t afraid to utter them, but I’m sure she only had your best interest in mind, and I’d like to think that deep down in your heart you feel a tinge of sadness and loss, and if you ever feel ready to forgive her I am sure she look upon you from below to accept it in her heart of hearts.

We would like it if you could be present for her wake here in the orphanage, and if not just know you are more than welcome to come and visit for any reason whenever you like. And besides, head-mistress Chalky left some keepsakes for you. Please come and pick it up.

With loving regards and hope for a bright future, sister Brenda Grey

P.S. If you come here with seven months worth of dirty laundry just to get it washed, I will be ever so disappointed

P.P.S. In no way does that mean we won’t do it

Huh… So Chalky finally kicked the bucket. Couldn’t say I cared for that old hag. Always on my case about the least little thing. The way she kept hanging over my shoulder, you’d think we’d cause some cataclysm that threatened everyone in the three-block area the moment she turned away. Which was only the case, like, thrice.
Part of me still wondered if I’d be sad about her loss if I wasn’t a stone-cold bitch with black hole for a heart who long ago lost the ability to form genuine attachment.
But… Hang on. They left me something there? You’d think Bardelkeep would have given me all that I should have when I left the orphanage.
Something smelled fishy. It’s not like I was gonna chicken out though. If the old lady had been keeping out on me, then I deserve to know.

Never in a million years did I think I’d return to Order territory. I was sure if I’d let the humans keep to their business they’d leave me to mine. But what happens if their business is my business?
A quick visit wouldn’t hurt.

So I called into the office and took a week off. I flew off to Lochnard, and from there took the next stagecoach to Lyrewick in my human disguise.
There were two kinds of Order settlements. The kind with priests and knights, and the kind with scholars and engineers. Lyrewick was the latter. It was the kind where you might see kobolds wandering the streets, and holstaurs roaming the fields. And it’s the kind of town that tended to develop some sort of compunction against murdering children, even if those children were monsters. Instead, they kept the lost and **** together in a special little homestead away from humans, where they wouldn’t be a bother. That’s what Bardelkeep was.
What can I say? For the Order, it was a huge step in the right direction. Didn’t mean I wouldn’t rather have grown up in a dumpster.

So many people glued their eyes on me as I made my way through the streets. Not cause I looked demonic. While in Order territory, I used the spell of anthropomorphis to disguise myself as one of them. No. The issues was that the spell concealed only my monstrous features. My delectable booty and shapely legs remained unaltered for all to behold. That was what caught their attention.
Then there were those who wouldn’t look at me at all. Most were old pals from back in the days, probably hoped I was gone for good, after all that ruckus.
It’s not like I had any business with them anyhow. I had more important matters to attend.

Bardelkeep was uncharacteristically empty when I arrived. Guess I arrived just in time for the kids’ nap.
“Oh… Oh my deary dear!” A woman in a black gown rushed forward, “Vanessa? Is that really you? My my! You’ve grown up! Look at you! Wearing a suit!”
“Heh, you know me, Brenda. I’m a survivor.” I laughed, “Looking good there yourself.”
I meant that. But of course, it was all a matter of perspective. Her skin was sandy brown, coarse and stitched together in places. One of her eyeballs bulged out and did not move along with the other. She kept her black hair short and frizzy. Apparently Brenda was supposed to be a zombie, but far more clever than any zombie I’ve ever heard of. Far warmer too.
“Oh, you. Please, come on in. I made some mulled wine.”

If there’s one reason to look forward to going back to that place, it’d be Brenda. Just wish there had been more of her when I grew up there. Well, since I left, it seems she and her husband had gone and dug up some more parts of her. She now had two more fingers and her entire arm from the elbow up.
Mulled wine and biscuits were indeed served. And I sat down for a nice chat with good old Brenda.
“Ah… Going back to this place… It brings out so many memories.” I started.
“What can I say?” Brenda chuckled, “We all have to start somewhere, and this here place gives all lost little critters a fair chance.”
“You’re a heaven-sent, Brenda.” I sighed, dipping my biscuit into the wine, “And you know what? So was Chalky. Heh. It’s funny, you know? I know she’s not with us anymore, but I still half-expect her to burst in here. Yell at me to stay away from the staff room.”
“Well, you know? She just might.” Brenda smiled, “You know how dedicated to her job she was.”
“Yeah. I got that impression. Speaking of… You said Chalky left something for me?”
“Ah, yes. She held on to something. Something that in truth belongs to you. Chalky found it together with you, when you arrived on our doorstep that rainy night so many years ago.”

…That’s something new. Those words made me recoil somewhat. As far as I was concerned, that thing was just some wrapper for a breadroll. Still, to think there was something that linked me to my origins.
I cleared my throat, “And you never cared to mention this to me… Why exactly?”
“Ah, terribly sorry, Vanessa. No one actually wanted to deceive you. It’s just… Head-mistress Chalky insisted it would be best for everyone if we kept it away. Even as you departed. Why she did so? I could only guess. But she was, after all, a good woman. She must have had her reasons.”
Yeah. Her reason was to find ever new ways to torment me.

“But, since she’s not here now…” I smirked.
“I discussed it with the rest of the sisters here. We all agreed that we did not have the right to keep away something that always really belonged to you, and could be important. And we thought that whatever befell you as a consequence, you’re old enough now to handle yourself. At the very least, it should be up to you. Whatever head-mistress Chalky had in mind, well… She’s not here to stop us anyhow.”
“Why, Brenda… “ I smiled, showing my sharp teeth, “Never knew you could stand up for yourself. Take it from me though, telling someone off is much more satisfying if they’re alive to hear it.”
“Yes. Yes… Would you like me to show you what she left?”
I put the cup back on the saucer, letting the wisp of steam rise from the surface of the fluid.
I leaned in, “Bring it on.”

Brenda rose from the chair, and shuffled back to a cupboard. She opened it up and rummaged through, before picking out a parcel wrapped in a linen towel.
She handed it to me. Whatever was underneath, it was proof that I didn’t just start to exist out of nowhere in that orphanage. Somewhere out there, there was a place where I belonged.

Brenda looked at me with anticipation in her one good eye. Just like she would a kid opening their first ever birthday gift. I unrolled the towel.
A single key clanked on the table. I picked it up, looking it over confused. Seemed to be made out of robust dim iron with a circular cross-section. The handle had all kinds of funky woven patterns about it.

“So…? What do you think?” Brenda asked giddily.
“It’s… It’s definitely more than I thought I had.”
Brenda nodded, her enthusiasm never waving even for a moment.
“Where does it go?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It’s not like the key came with a door. As far as I know, it could lead absolutely anywhere.”
Yeah… Sounds like the ultimate practical joke to play on the kid you’re ditching. ‘Oh, you’ll be on your own from now on. Here’s the key to the door you won’t be entering anymore.’
Sure, I spotted the faintest hint of magic. So it went to a magic lock? That sure in Pandemonium settled the matter. Maybe Chalky was right to keep that from me.

I thanked Brenda for her hospitality, then stayed for Chalky’s wake. Not much to say about it. It was fun. No idea if wakes were supposed to be fun, but I’d prefer that to the opposite any day.
It was late by the time I took the stagecoach home. It was then that something occurred to me about the dream I had. It turned out I did recognize that stench. It was the stench of decay. More precisely, the stench of Brenda’s decaying body.

Don’t worry. I had a colleague feed my parakeet while I was away. I could never forget him.
When I entered my house, it was well past midnight. I dropped to the bed like a fish, then drifted to sleep.

Once again I find myself before the door. This time, I have company. A centaur stands before me, one with pale fur with a dark cloak draped over her human part.
“So… You finally arrive.”
“Couldn’t escape this place if I tried,” I say, “Where am I exactly? Who are you?”
“Let’s just call me… An old friend.” The centaur says.
“So… what? Did you know me from back before I was abandoned? Did you know my real parents?”
“I am an old friend.” She repeats, “You do not know this, but I have been watching over you. Keeping you safe. And I have been waiting. Waiting for the day when you stand here, ready to make a choice.”
I look back at the door. I pull the key from my pocket and dangle it between my fingers, “This key… It goes into that door, doesn’t it?”
“Indeed. What you see before you transpires in your mind, but you do not have access to all of it. The memories of your past have been locked away. Sealed behind that door. And now you can open it. Become who you once were again.”
“Why were my memories sealed in the first place? What happened when I was a child?”
“It is not for me to provide answers. My task has always been to guide you. Know however, that I can not guarantee happiness. What is beyond there is the truth, and nothing else.”

I step forward. This isn’t a choice at all. I’m tired of drifting from day to day without purpose or goal. I need something that can fix me. Make me whole.
I insert the key into the hole, and turn. It clicks.
I then pull the handle down.
It opens…