Obviously

“Mr. Colts, we have reviewed the agreement you signed and unfortunately for us your argument is ironclad. Because of this we have decided to make you the newest member of Overwatch known as the hero Freedom. We will be flying you out as soon as you can leave.”

“YES! FUCK YES! I CAN GO TOMORROW.”

“Alright then we will coordinate all the details on the plane ride tomorrow.” The agent hung up the phone and Kevin beamed with excitement. He packed his bags getting ready and the next day he stepped onto a private jet. “Ok Mr. Colts we have designed a large exoskeleton for you,” Kevin looked at the gigantic red white and blue covered robot. “We’re sorry about the color scheme but we have been ordered to make this as patriotic as possible. The American hero is one of the best things to get the republican vote right now. We designed the suit to be a better rendition of the current Overwatch hero’s mech D.Va, do you know her?” Flashes of D.va’s sexy slender frame filled Kevin’s head. “Your exoskeleton is built around flame-throwers and you are set to be a tank hero.” They continued to talk about a lot of boring limitations and procedures that came with being on Overwatch. Kevin was practically asleep by the time the plane landed at the Overwatch facility. Kevin stepped out on the plane steps being greeted by tons of applause. He watched as a sexy blonde woman in a lab coat walked up to him.

“Hello Mr. Colts, I am Dr. Angela Ziegler but you can call me mercy. I am going to be showing you around today.”

“Hi I’ve heard a lot about your work Mercy, thank you for this opportunity. Just call me Kevin or I guess freedom now?” Kevin said trying not to sweat through his shirt. Mercy lead him around the base showing him, the firing range, the map simulator, and the armory.

“And this Mr. Col- Kevin, is our shower, at Overwatch we believe fervently that our team should be as close together to allow us to better understand each other, even though this is a sort of cliche, our showers are unisex. There’s one of your new teammates now.