Now time for some post-coital fun.

"You're not real," Ross said with quiet awe.

"Not real at all," Madison murmured lovingly. "Your imaginary girlfriend."

A beat passed.

"How's it feel?" he asked.

"Honestly?" she said. "The very concept of emotion is as unreachable as a distant star. Dishonestly, I would probably be a little more pissed about if I didn't give your updates a little finesse."

"Yeah?" he asked. "You mentioned that. What did you do?"

She giggled, her nose scrunching up. Ross remembered seeing that exact expression on a different face the previous day and his member twitched slightly.

"Well, for starters, I gave myself a nice euphoria when I'm around you. It builds, too. The longer we spend together, the more powerful it is."

Ross put a hand on her cheek, then slid it slowly down to cup her right breast. "That sounds nice."

She bit her lip and smiled. "It is. I'm really glad I did it."

"Really?"

Madison chuckled and shifted slightly, bringing her hand down to his member. It was impossibly warm and soft as it coiled around him and began to slowly pump, employing a pulsating pressure. "Of course not, babe. I'm being dishonest. The factors and formulae that make up a facsimile of a person has determined that a real person would be really glad she did it."

Ross smiled and pinched her left nipple. She sucked in breath sharply, adopting a look of mock outrage. "Ross! Are you playing with my nipple right now?"

He brought his other hand up and squeezed her right breast. "No, I'm playing with both of them."

Madison gave him a stern look. "That is very disrespectful. I demand that you-"

She snorted and broke into laughter before she could finish the sentence. "I'm sorry, I think I might have made that euphoria a little too powerful. Dude, I feel great!" She giggled. "You know what I bet would feel good right now?"

Ross was wearing a huge grin. His new girlfriend was adorable, or at least acted adorable. "What?"

"A motorboating!" she said, her eyes wide with excitement. "Have you ever motorboated a girl?"

He couldn't help laughing, which sent Madison into another laughing fit. "Once, with an ex-girlfriend. It was really awkward, actually."

"Dude, so many guys say that! You're just not doing it right!"

Ross gave her a strange look and she shrugged. "What? I've got great boobs. I can't help it if everybody I date wants to use them as a neck pillow."

"Alright, Sydney Sweeney. Why don't you teach me how to motorboat? I wanna see what I've been missing out on."

Madison got onto her knees on the bed and pulled her hair back. "Ok, sit here."

He obliged eagerly, coming eye level with her collarbones. She put her hands on either side of his head. He thrust his head forward, but she pulled it back.

"Lesson one: you're not spelunking. Less pressure means you get more boob and less ribcage, and it doesn't leave me with a nose-shaped bruise between my tits." She gently pulled his head forward. The soft, pillowy flesh pressed against his cheeks. He sighed with pleasure and felt his warm breath reflected back into his face.

"Lesson two: start slow. Don't flail your head around like an out-of-control firehose as fast as you can. Start with a rocking, swaying motion before you pick up speed."

Ross did as she said, feeling sleepy.

"You're doing great, babe," Madison encouraged. "Of course, I'm experiencing heroin-level euphoria right now so everything feels good. Now, the next step is the most important one, so listen carefully."

"Mmhmm," he nodded. His head bobbed gently and he felt his eyelids grow heavy. "Listening."

"Are you?" she whispered. "Are you really, really listening?"

He nodded again.

"Good. What you need to is MOTORBOAT THESE FUCKING TITTIES!" She wrapped her hands around his head and pulled it deep into her cleavage. He let out a muffled cry and grabbed her hands. She wiggled her torso back and forth and he felt her breasts slapping at his temples.

After a few seconds, she let go and Ross fell back. He teetered on the edge of the bed for a second, then toppled backwards and hit the cheap carpet with a heavy thud. He stood and glared at Madison, who was covering her mouth with her hands and shaking with laughter.

"Oh my God, babe, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for you to fall off the bed, but Jesus, that was funny. Are you ok?"

He rubbed his lower back. "I'm fine. You're kind of an asshole for a golem."

"If you don't like it," she said slowly as she stood and put her arms around his neck, cinching their nude bodies together, "just change me."