Not From Around Here

Cordelia wasnt normally one to give advice to random people but in this case she felt she had to step in.

"Summers, can I talk to you for a minute." Cordelia said to the blonde as she made conversation with Amy Madison and Willow Rosenberg. A silent and weirded out Xander hanging in the background being subdued and not very Xanderish. Cordelia shot a fleeting glimpse at his crotch and what was trapped behind baggy jeans.

The three girls shared a look and then with a nod Buffy wandered over to Cordelia. The girl was giving her nervous energy. Like she expected to be attacked at any moment. Like she thought she was competition Cordelia was worried about.

"Cordelia." Summers said with a pleasant but wary tone.

"Walk with me." Cordelia turned and walked off. She wasn't left waiting long before Summers joined her in putting some distance between her group and the two of them.

"Whats up, Cordelia?" Summers asked when they were on the other side of the bleachers.

"Okay. Look, we are far enough away not to be heard, so here goes..." Cordelia looked back to make sure Rosenberg was out of range. The red head was now standing next to Xander and talking, Amy Madison having apparently wandered off.

"You are not from around here so you wouldn't know this but if you have anything to do with Xander Harris you are going to have to deal with his stalker, Willow Rosenberg." Cordelia kept her voice down.

Buffy Summers looked startled and looked past Cordelia towards the duo in question. "W-what?"

"And, look, if you have some kind of medical problem or compulsion or hang up or whatever you need to be better at hiding it." Cordelia finished.

"What?" Summers stated much more confused this time.

"You pulling Xander into the locker room for a handy wasnt exactly subtle. Or quiet. And if I noticed then Rosenberg is going to notice and thats a whole level of pissed off psycho obsessed weirdo you dont want to deal with." Cordelia explained.

Buffy blanched and looked around worriedly, "You saw that?!"

Cordelia nodded her head.

Summers put her head in her hands, "Perfect. Great. Wonderful."

"Like, do you have nymphomania or something? Is it a mental thing? You were waaaay too into jerking Xander's big dick and letting him spunk on you. You looked like you were cumming harder than Xander was." Cordelia tried to convey her revulsion at being cum on in her tone. She very carefully tried to keep her wonder at Xander's amazing appendage out of her voice.

"You don't understand, it-" Summers suddenly shut her mouth and shook her head.

"Yeah?" Cordelia leaned in.

There was a clunk. And then a curse word or two.

Both girls looked up at the bleachers behind them and found leaning over the side of the top row Amy Madison who was staring down at them with wide eyes. With a nervous smile she **** a laugh. "Sorry. Clumsy. My foot slipped."

"Are you spying on us?" Cordelia asked.

"Just making sure you werent going to pull a Tonya Harding on the competition." Amy smiled pettily at Cordelia.

"What competition?" Cordelia muttered to herself. Summers obviously didnt have her head in it and Madison was a bad copy of her much more talented mother whose best days were twenty years ago.

"Whatever." Summers shook her head again, "Forget it. Look, Cordelia.... Y-You wouldn't get it."

"Whatever. Just remember I warned you. If you want to get with Xander you have to watch out for Willow. Everyone here knows she's psycho in love with him." Cordelia ended the conversation there and wandered away.

She had done her good deed for the day.