Membership Benefits

“Damn.” I say as Heather and I approach the automatic entrance doors of the massive warehouse store. “It’s busy!”

“It is always busy.” She says. “Especially at this time of day.”

“I’ve never actually been into one of these places.” A say peering up at the towering blue letters above the doors.

“Really?” She takes my arm and pulls me close. “Never?”

“Nah. My folks never had a membership.”

“A warehouse virgin.” She smiles. “I’ll be your guide. This should be fun! We used to go here all the time. A lot less now. It’s great for a family but I don’t really need the bulk deals so much living alone.” I felt as if we were streaming into a concert venue, not going on a grocery run, as we move with the flow of the crowd. To our right an equally dense mass of humanity was streaming out the exit. Heather lets me go to fetch one of the grocery carts, which was nearly twice as voluminous as what I was used to, then waits for me to return before walking into the actual shopping area. Her membership card is checked and she seems to take great joy out of saying. “He’s with me.”

“Oh my God.” I mutter as I slow to a stop to take in the scale of what I was seeing. The place was enormous! Quite possibly the largest interior space that I’d ever set foot in. It somehow looked even bigger on the inside than it had from the parking lot.

“Outta the way!” My wheels had barely stopped turning when an annoyed bark from behind me jolts me into motion again.

“No need to be rude!” Heather snaps right back at him as she hurries back to grab onto the front of the cart. After she and the older man exchange glares she whispers to me. “You have to sort of stay with the flow here.”

“Sorry.”

With me pushing and her holding onto the side Heather leads me into the sprawling labyrinth of electronics and eyeglasses, appliances and apparel, travel and tires, and every other conceivable thing under the sun! And everything hilariously over-sized. All these years I’d been under the impression that this was basically just a venue for buying household groceries in bulk sizes, but this place had it all. As I gawk and rubberneck my way through the aisles, marveling at this thing and that, Heather strolled along watching me with an amused grin.

“You haven’t even seen the best part yet.” She says after the few aisles.

“What’s that?”

“This.” She nods ahead of us where an employee was set up on a little stand on top of which was a sizzling hot plate. Directing me to park the cart for a moment she takes my arm and leads me to the stand where she takes two little cups of hot, greasy sausage on a tiny bed of instant flavored rice. Holding up her cup she says. “Cheers.” We tap our cups in a toast and down the contents as if they were shots. “Not bad.”

“No. Not bad.” I agree as the savory flavors fill my mouth. “Mmm!”

She takes my cup in hers and drops it in the garbage pail that was right there and thanks the employee. They return a nod and a smile and, to my surprise, no sales pitch or hassle whatsoever. We return to the cart and carry on our merry way. We’d only made it to the head of the next aisle when we were greeted by the next sample stand, this time it was crackers with a cheese spread. As we much on tasty morsel I peer down the bustling rows to see more of these stands set up at the end of almost every aisle.

“Who needs tacos?” I quip. “We’ll be full by the time we’re leavin here!”

“Alexander used to joke that it was Tapas for the masses.” She giggles. “Of course he was high on honey half of the time so…”

“Ooo.” I swirl my tongue around my mouth, imagining what these flavors might be heightened to with a drop of magic honey. “Lucky guy.”

An hour must of have passed before we even got to the groceries as we go up and down every aisle window shopping and snacking the whole way. It was so FUN! We would stop and talk about this item or that one. In one aisle she would talk about how pretty a set of plates were and in the next I would fawn over a big rugged toolbox, each time the other would listen, engage, and secretly wish to buy it for them. And electronics! So funny! Heather truly was clueless when it came to anything with so much as a microchip inside of it and would be so impressed when I demonstrated even the most basic knowledge. I was hardly a tech guy but Heather made me feel like a genius. Undeserved as it was, it was a pretty damn nice feeling.

Thanks to the business of the store we were **** to stay close to each other or risk getting separated but as we went I sensed there was more to our cozy proximity. I began to watch Heather closely and noticed how her nose would flinch and twitch and how her posture would become more tense whenever the crowd got thick, particularly when there was a high proportion of men in the vicinity. A few times it seemed to become too much for her, and each time she would return to me and press in close and take a long inhale which seemed to do wonders to relax her.

When she spots me noticing this behavior she whispers. “This is a lot for me.” She rubs my back. “Once I’m bonded again this will be easy again. I look forward to that. In the meantime…” She leans in for another deep sniff. A smile appears as she slowly lets it out. “Thank you, baby.”

“Um, you’re welcome.”

The fun doesn’t stop when we finally get to the groceries. It starts innocently enough with Heather asking me to grab a bunch of bananas that were across the cart from her. But when I answer with a swift, “Yes, Ma’am.”, I saw her beautiful brown eyes begin to glimmer.

Next we stopped at a giant bin of bagged potatoes. Even though she stood right beside it she looked to me again. “These bags are so heavy for me.”

I stride forward in full hero mode. “I can get it.” I lean in and hoist a bag up.

“Ooo.” Heather giggles, looking VERY impressed by my show of strength despite how meager it actually was. “Could you manage some carrots?”

“No trouble for me, Ma’am.” I say, puffing up my chest.

“Ooo! He he he!”

And so it goes. It became something of a game between us as she acted the waifish princess and me her strapping knight. She enjoyed giving the orders and I enjoyed following them, especially as she always rewarded me with a treat at the end. Whether it was a soft caress to my arm, a word of praise, or just a warm gaze she never let my efforts to unacknowledged. More than anything though it was that unwavering and admiring way she looked at me. Any able bodied person could have followed her orders but, just like with the electronics, she makes me feel ten feet tall.

Aisle by aisle, joking and talking, we move through the store in no particular hurry. We were having a grand time. We’d already gotten all I needed for the tacos and enough basic supplies to last us awhile but still we hit every aisle and sampler just to be thorough. Between the natural laughter, the silly roleplay, the constant little touches that were now bordering on flirtatious and the occasional munchy this trip to the warehouse store felt more like a real date than any I’d been on with Blair. In fact we were having such a good time together that we’d almost forgotten our predicament, until…

“That’s one for your, Sir.” Says the gentleman manning the final sample stand as he passes me a little paper cup of fruit gummies. “And one for your darling mother.” He suddenly pulls the other cup away from Heather to say. “Oh! Or should I say, little sister. Excuse me, young lady.” He shoots Heather a wink and hands her the cup.

He meant it as flattery. He meant it as a corny joke. But it sure doesn’t land that way. Heather glowing smile fades as her cheeks darken with an embarrassed blush as she takes her sample.

Keeping her voice upbeat, though it was easy to hear the falseness in it, she says to him. “He’s not my son.” She looks at me. “Though I’d be proud if he was.”

“Oh.” He looks from her to me and back again.

“We’re just…friends.” She says softly and sadly as her eyes fall to look at the treats. “Actually, I don’t think I want these. Far too much sugar for a lady my age.” She passes the cup back to him. “Thank you.”

“Uh, sure.”

For the first time Heather takes control of the cart and pushes it toward the checkout tills. “I’ll be in line, Elliot. No need to hurry.”

As I watch her leave the clerk mumbles. “Did I say something wrong?”