Liz

Liz's Pov:

'Pick up you prick there's and emergency!"

I leave a voicemail with Seb as I get some clothes and try to chase after Kris. Girl can book it.

I'm several more calls and texts to both Seb and Kris before I get a text back. Its not Kris and the response makes my heart sink.

*What's the emergency? Just got out of a movie with some friends.*

*Read the messages I left, trying to chase her while I've got a chance to follow.*

*Wtf, one sec*

I've checked with a neighbor and the coffee shop by the time I get a proper response from Seb.

*Fuck, on way to your area, any idea where she would have gone, did she say anything.*

*No, just the freak out and blam out the door, checking all the stores around here that should could get to on foot.*

*What ever your search area is, expand it, she has better endurance than you thing and ran cross country before her most recent 'maybe this body type' change.*

*Fucking great, any idea where she would seek out when she's freaking out.*

*Not really, this is the first time this has happened, closest she got was our first night together because she thought I left right after when I was grabbing us some towels. Didn't realize she would need aftercare to that extent when it was really vanilla, didn't know she was a virgin at the time.*

*Not very confidence inspiring Seb, Ok, tell me what you do know, where does she hang, what does she do. She religious? Give me something.* His cluelessness was getting on my nerves and his next text did not help. This was not the time for him to be the stereotypical male....

*Not religious, grew up in that type of community I think, doesn't talk about it a lot but not really spoken of in a positive light when she does. Everything else I know she does is for a goal, I don't know anything she does just to relax. Closest she's gotten while we've been doing this is getting fuck in her favorite way until 'everything is quite and good'.*

*The fuck dude, when this is done, we are having a conversion about being a better DOM. Do you know anything about her that doesn't revolve around getting your dick wet by your live in toy? Or did you forget she is a person?!*

*Ok, fair, but as far as I can tell she's been obsessed with 'fixing' herself since before either of us met her. She used to quote movies and games a lot when she first moved in, ya'know before.*

*Which we both agree isn't healthy, hold on, I have an Idea. If it doesn't work we may need to call Alice and the cops, she seems to be the only one that knew them before all this. Start checking the movie and game stores I'm on my way to check somewhere out.*

'God please let me be wrong about this and she's just doing a movie or something.'

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Kris POV:

Sitting on the edge over looking the area wasn't the same as mill tower back home, but this old building on the outskirts would do.

It was like looking into a void or a campfire, mesmerizing.

I'd stopped crying and was just remembering now.

My thoughts weren't great but I'd had worse.

Wasn't sure how long I sat there when I heard someone approaching.

I was expecting it to be a security guard or cop but I was proven wrong.

"You know she still talks about missing it, getting to climb that tower back home with you."

It was Liz and soon I had her as company sitting on the edge. "I'd be surprised if she could forget it, I can't." I really did miss those days, why couldn't I just leave things well enough alone.

"Tell me about it?"

"Why I'm sure you've heard it all from her. You know her better than I do now."

"Yeah, but I want to hear it from you. What made it special to you, what sticks in your mind."

I'd humor her, she came all this way to check on me. "The dare the first time, who could 'get into and climb the tallest building in town'. The fear each time we would one up the other, that one time we had to outrun the police chief. The surprise on my face when she could jump gap of the brick offices downtown. The surprise on her's when I learned to lock pick."

"Sounds like you two had a blast I can see why she misses those days."

"I certainly do, Glad to hear I didn't sully the whole memory."

"Its why it hurts, she misses it but knows it can never come back."

"You know it was on that water tower when that I realized I never wanted to lose her. Too bad chasing that fear is what made it happen."

"Now what do you mean by that, I thought you did all this because you wanted to date her?"

"Sorta?-"

"The hell you mean SORTA?!... sorry but seriously that was the whole reason you gave me and Seb don't tell me it was a lie."

"Not a lie, just not the core. I wanted to date her because its how I thought I could stop us from drifting apart or losing her, I'd seen older guy/girl friendships only end in a few ways. The only ones that survived I'd seen was marriage the others only ended in different flavors of bad. I asked her out the first time when I noticed other guys checking her out, then teasing each other about asking her out, like they did with the other girls. I 'knew' if she started dating any of them that they wouldn't want me hanging around, I'd seen it before. I just didn't want to lose her. It didn't turn to a crush or lust until later"

"You two grew up in a small christian town, small sample size and odd selection pressure." she murmured like someone working through a puzzle book.

"Well when I think about it now I can see it, but in the moment, there were only so many things allowed, even after telling my folks I didn't believe their 'mythology'. If I wanted to not lose her It was date or nothing. Other wise I'd be seen as trying to 'sully a ladies good name' or 'steal someone else's girl' and any other random gossip that was already getting started as we stuck together through thick or thin. 'oh she must be waiting for him to ask' became 'must be waiting for someone better she'll learn to settle down some day'. I know its all BS now but back then, I hadn't untangled half the hang ups from the way I was raised.

Wonder if that's why she never told me she was gay, worried I'd leave or hate her for 'leading me on'. It wouldn't have been like that. ."

"You sure, we all like to remember ourselves in the best light."

"Did you know I thought I was ace for awhile, until I was 'delivered by God'?"

"No, what does that-"

"That's what they called 'graduating' their little conversion camp, parents thought Ace was some type of 'homosexual poison'."

"Shit."

"Did she ever tell you about that summer my parents sent me to an 'expensive camp'."

"Yeah she was jealous you won that contest because neither of your parents could afford camp normally, told me she cried when you never wrote her back that sum....mer..... noooo they didnt."

"They did, the church pretends its a camp run as a charity that picks winners at random. Its something the churches in the three neighboring counties and ours came together to set up. They didn't let mail in or out except to parents. Was too ashamed to tell her about it so I made up a story and apologized by getting her a game she had been wanting. I would have never hated her for being gay and I never would have let it slip and get her sent to the same place."

"Fuck me, did she ever find out?"

"I already did, remember or did I comport myself that poorly" At her look I answered the real question. "As best as I can tell she only found out about the camp when they made the news for getting shut down. Never knew I went. Thankfully the details didn't make it to her. Don't know if I could look her in the eyes if she knew. Please don't tell her."

"Wait news for being shut down?? Are you talking about the ones that-"

"Yes, don't ask If you don't want to know. You don't want to know. No matter what you think of me, even If I never get to see her again, I don't want to think about her knowing, please."

"I won't tell her, but Is- is that why you are the way that you are?" I can tell she's trying to be gentle but she is failing, its not that big a deal, she's trying and that's what matters.

"Liz, the way that I am is probably the only reason I survived how many times they shocked me for telling the truth. Also probably why It took so long to learn to lie the way they liked, too. Now If we are done walking down memory lane, my owner is probably worried, you up for giving me a ride?"

"Yeah, I have Seb checking the movies and game places."

"Why? I only watch movies with him anymore and that's to make-out with a bit of danger. Haven't gamed since I sold the playstation to afford senior years gym membership."

"You really are single minded about things. You know you could give up."

"I know we're on a ledge but I'm not that far gone."

"Not what I meant asshole, I meant on Alice, at least as a GF?"

"I think that ship has sailed, do you really think she'll accept me back as a friend. According to ya'll I ruined that shit awhile back. She'll think I'm just there to wait until her guard is down to ask her out again and cause drama by ghosting. I know its a long shot hoping I can change enough, hoping she see's me out, hoping she likes it enough to make the first move. And a dozen other 'hopes'. But its all I have left, every other option risks hurting her or is giving up."

"What about Seb, you have him."

"Don't get me wrong, He's a great guy and Dom, great BF even. But he's not my bestie," Those words hurt more now than ever, I'd give the world to have her friendship back, I curse myself every time I think of how long it took me to figure things out, but I only had my 'me' to work with, Liz and Sub helping me with that was a small miracle.

Its in her car that she broaches the subject that she probably wanted to this whole time. "So we going to talk about what happened back at my place or do I need Seb involved to get you to?"