Learning Lessons

Claude had not received any word from the four people he'd hired to watch over his bow. All in all, he considered this a good thing. Whatever pelvic achievements that Kazuma had accomplished in the night were more likely to have occurred by forgetting about the faux objective that Claude had set.

Still, he wanted to make sure he hadn't sent someone to die. Erections still slightly confused the lad, and maybe, if it brought similar emotions in Ingrid, he could be walking towards a Satou Corpse-zuma.

What he hadn't been expecting was to get to his bow in the armoury and find it dripping with sexual juices.

"Hmm... alright, you got me there, Kazuma," He shook his head with a smile. The little paper note on his signature weapon reading 'Sorry! No other dildos around!' with a little doodle underneath. The square slowly moving down the goopy mess that splattered the wood. "...how do I clean semen off a bow?"

---

Before Class

These days, I wasn't spending that much time in my room... this is what we in the business call: an absolute win. I can't really complain that I'm not in my room when the reason for my absence is because of all the poon-tang I was getting!

Right now, I was in a sort of 'just visiting' mindset as I rushed in to get changed before class. Though this could be because I was also avoiding someone. Mainly, seeing the woman in my room I've been ignoring.

“Kazumaa~… I blessed the Brigit place like you wanted… can you see me now...?”

“I always could, thanks Aqua. I’ll tell Petra about it.”

The floating ethereal bluenette blinked, “W-wHAT?!”

I shrugged at her scream, “I’ve just been ignoring you. Much easier that way.”

Only a few days after I had that vision with the green haired girl on the chair was when Aqua started appearing in my room. The whiny Goddess was clearly unable to be seen by anyone else, because Marianne was in here when she appeared, and my Blueberry said nothing about the strange glowing whine-box. Ever since then it's been easier to just keep quiet and let her blabber on about 'how annoying Sothis is' or whatever. Like the child she is mentally, Aqua usually gets bored of whining if no one pays attention to her.

“But I guess you did me a favour for Petra... so I thought I should say I can see you. Though you didn't need to make her clan into Axis freaks.”

The line looked like it had been crossed in Aqua's mind. If she had the spectral ability I'm sure she'd be burning my tracksuit and yelling my secrets to whoever would listen. “Y-you… you’re a big meanie, Kazuma! A big stinky loser NEET loser asshole meanie! NNG! I’ve been so bored here! Floating around while you get to have fun! I-! Urk!” Her eyes suddenly went wide, flinching at her own internal flashback, “...t-the whole time? Hey hey, you could really see me the whole time?”

I grinned at the memory she was probably thinking of, “Oh yes. Even the time when I had Petra and Marianne in here while you watched on... how fun it was to have a Goddess openly masturbate to me~! I never really wanted to hear you moan my name, but it was a big ego boost for one as great as I!”

Her body was etherially thumping me in the skull, “Kazuma forget that! Forget that right now! A Goddess isn't supposed to-! I-I was just bored! There's nothing to do, and then you had those three girls-!"

"Three? I thought you only did it after Petra. So you shlicked it again when I got Ingrid, eh?"

"AHHH! STOP!" She screamed, "Make me real! Make my body real already! I need to strangle those images from your head!"

"Like I know how to do that, you stupid Ero-Goddess!" I sneered, making her big wobbly lip point right at me, "Look, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone you did it. Megumin and Darkness aren't around, and no one else will believe me that there's a perverted ghost in my room."

"I'm not a pervert! I was j-just blessing you! You should be grateful, Kazuma!"

"Oh, I'm grateful. Don't worry about that," I smirked at her widely and proudly. Aqua looked happy for a moment so I quickly shot that down, "Not about you. I'm grateful about Garreg Mach! We're in a world where all the girls want me just because of my boner! I'm scientifically and irrefutably in my popular phase here, it's amazing!"

Her eyes hung low as she frowned at me, "...Kazuma has that look on his face. The perverted one he gets before everything blows up and he gets his comeuppance."

"I know. I'm probably setting all kinds of flags right now... but I just can't stop myself from feeling excited! There's just no way this plan goes wrong! All the women are just one flash of my cock away from desperately wanting to be with me, dammit!"

Aqua just shook her head at me with a smug expression, "Scumzuma's the same in every universe, huh?"

"Quiet, you."

"I don't wanna be quiet! I don't wanna be a ghost anymore! I wanna have a drink and eat nice food and help the poor girls that Kazuma has under his spell! Are you even trying to go home anymore?!"

"No way! This place is too good to let go."

"Kazumaaa! You have to beat the Demon King so I can go back to the Heavenly Realm!"

"Quiet! You don't really want that, you just want the ability to drink again you useless whiny Goddess! These isekai things work out when you've solved some problem with the world, and this lack of sex seems like a good place to start! So just float there and stroke yourself off while I do all the heavy lifting. I just need to pick the right next target..."

---

Lunchtime

"And who is that going to be?"

Meeting up with my three girls at lunchtime had a sense of secret thrill to it today.

We were away from the hustle and bustle of the dining hall, haven wrapped up the meal of pork chops to take out into the courtyard area. Tall hedges surrounded our little tea party aesthetic, letting us chow down around the table with no one the wiser of the sinister plotting we were getting done.

It also meant that Petra could sneak under the table to blow me while I ate my lunch.

We were tucked into the corner of two hedges, and the other two girls were blocking the view from the other side, so there was basically no way of anyone finding out about her secret sucking. But man did the voyeuristic thrill feel so good as I heard people walking about. Having Petra's throat move back and forth along my length as I tried to keep my 'elegant' demeanour to eat with.

“Come on, Kazuma, who do you want to seduce first?” Asked Ingrid again, a girl who I hadn’t expected to be so into this but I suppose I should get used to that with blonde knights. “Have you met Mercedes? She and Annette do their sexual relief together a lot. She’s very nice, and… wait, I don’t even know what kind of girls you like. Are big boobs and butts considered sexy for guys?”

“...”

I stared at her long and hard.

The fact she was asking me that so genuinely still–STILL–baffled me.

“Yes. I consider that sexy.” I replied very bluntly, though it made all three of the girls subtly look at their own bodies, which made me self conscious about my words too, “B-b-but, like, all women are sexy in their own ways! I yearn for true gender equality. A lot of the time, the thing that makes me really hot is knowing girls like me back…”

That made all of them blush back at me. Marianne placed her hand on my knee, Petra sucked her throat in a little harder, and Ingrid looked shy while looking away. Why was all my corny lame bullshit working? It’s almost more embarrassing… especially when I’m supposedly speaking from the heart with them…

The awkwardness and heart pumping otome-game-like dialogue was too much for my cock to handle. Ruining the niceness of the scene, I grabbed Petra's ears and dragged her forward for her own lunch protein to blast her stomach. She swallowed me down well, only **** a little from my oversized chunky jizz stream.

Petra slunk her way back up to the table with a wide pube stained smile. I'd have complained she left my dick out, only for Marianne to quietly move down under the table to take her turn with my cock in her mouth.

“A-anyway! My plan is two fold!” I quickly changed the topic back, “First, I want to cover my back a bit more before I start selling my body to classmates. Therefore, we won’t go for a student straight away, but a teacher!”

“Striking an alpha of the pack? Devious, but very effective in taking down multiple targets,” Petra surmised.

"Sure, but it's more than just that," I explained, "The bigger the harem gets the harder it's going to be to hide it from everyone. We've already had Ingrid walk in on us as a three, but what happens when we start pushing up to five? Eight? Sixteen?! There's no way we can do that in dorm rooms and expect to hide ouselves forever. The idea that a guard or Seteth walks in on us and I get insta-expelled is too likely at that point. No, we need a teacher on board to get us access to more places in the Mach, AND as a failsafe to any students finding us. They can also keep better track of the other teachers, take us off campus, and take us out of class for sexy reasons. It's a win-win-win-win-win in my book."

Under the table, my Blueberry was only kissing around my glans right now, humming in appreciation. Marianne had that cloudy look in her eyes that told me her imagination was thoroughly intrigued by the idea, “K-Kazuma taking a teacher with his cock all the way inside… Ms. Manuela, Ms. Catherine, Ms. Shamir… or even…” Her eyes drifted upwards to the top of the school.

“L-Lady Rhea is a bit much to go for first!” said Ingrid, quickly trying to be the voice of reason, “Don’t get me wrong… I would find it really hot if you went up there and made one of the most powerful women in the land suck on your big throbbing dick…” said Ingrid, quickly losing the voice of reason and joining Marianne in fantasy land.

“Rhea isn’t my target. I know she’s a too big of a goal for target one,” I agreed with the concensus, though it wasn't like I didn't want Palutena up there, she'd just have to wait for me to get a few more teachers on board. "Anyway, part two of the plan will revolve mostly around seducing whomever we please. I want to start a rumour about me, get a picture of my erection out there for women to speculate about, and see how the student body begins to change their opinions one by one..."

"Wow, you've been thinking about this for a while, huh?" asked Ingrid. Honestly? A fantasy like this may only come around once a lifetime, so excuse me for taking full advantage of the scenario placed in front of me. "I'm sure we can help!"

"Hilda is very good at starting rumours..." Agreed Marianne.

"Bernadetta is equipped with pencils to draw your erection, Kazuma."

"All perfect! I don't know what Aqua was so sceptical about! We're gonna be fine!" I boasted, moving Marianne's face about so she was using her throat. "But it can wait until after we get a teacher! I've always wanted to try and seduce an older woman... and I think I know just the one!"

---

After Class

Ah, the nurse's office.

Did you know that 45% of all Hentai mangas set in a school use the nurse's bed to some degree? That number isn't true at all, but it feels right, right? It's the one place guaranteed to have a place to fuck, no needing to bend awkwardly over a desk or hide in the gym storage locker. Plus you get the bonus of some hot school nurse porn!

The scenarios just write themselves in a place like this. 'Oh dear, I'm feeling so ill, my crotch is so hot!', 'Sneaking out of class with my hot school friend!', 'The teacher is taking care of me and my boner!'. All A+ fap material on whatever website of your choosing.

But then, I don't need Hentai anymore. I have the real thing! And I'm going to get the real thing by showing Manuela my real thing's real power!

As I entered her room the first word that struck me was: chaotic. Papers were scattered everywhere, an empty wine glass perched precariously on the edge of her desk, and the faint scent of perfume mixed with something stronger... maybe regret? Nothing seemed particularly organised, from the disheveled bed I'd soon be rocking around in, to the hotty slouched in her chair just begging for me to stare at. Manuela's chin propped was on one hand, with the other tapping idly on the desk as she stared at the wall like it owed her money. For someone who was supposed to be a teacher, she looked more like she was waiting for a particularly exciting soap opera to start.

Enter; Kazuma.

"Heellloooo, Nurse!"

She turned slowly to cast bored emerald eyes at me. Her messy blond hair caught the after class sunlight, giving her this weirdly angelic glow. Barely getting the energy up to properly turn, I saw the way her hourglass body leaned lazily against her desk. Left breast getting pushed upwards into a satisfying lump of softness as she looked at me. I couldn't wait to suck on that thing as she begs for more~ this universe is amazing!

"Hm? Oh, it's you," said Manuela, face neither elated or disavowing my existence, "What is it that you want?"

Ingrid was a little upset my plan to seduce Manuela was basically just to show her my cock... but looking at how grumpy and frustrated the teacher was I can't say it was a bad plan at all!

"I have a medical problem~" I practically sang. Oh this was just too easy!

"Right... you're a newer student... Look, kid. The male doctor will be on duty in a few hours, can it wait until then?"

"No way! I need you!" I insisted. No way I was going to let her get away that easily, "Can't you see, my medical problem will help you too!"

Her eyebrow raised for a moment, then narrowed tightly on her pretty face as Manuela began scowling at me.

"How?"

And now, the big reveal.

The moment her angry rejection of my presence becomes elated joy as I show her my crotchal ability! Getting hard isn't an issue when I can stare at such prime MILF meat as her. All it will take is one look at my pants and she'll be bending over backwards to... well, bend over backwards!

Like a magic trick, I moved my hands from my crotch and showed off my full pitched tent.

“Can't you help me, Miss? My thingie keeps doing this!”

...

“...get out.”

I grabbed the hem of my pants, ready to wiggle them down my hips, “Do you mind looking at it? I’ll slowly p-wait, what?”

“I said get out, now.”

She was serious? What the hell? Did I misjudge her? Is she a lesbian or just not seeing the hardness?

Shimmying it a little bit more, I stammered out, “B-b-b-but my peni-!”

“You little SHIT!” CRASH! Went the wine glass against the wall near my head.

Oh fuck. I haven’t seen a woman that angry in a while.

Manuela looks like she’s ready to **** me out for reals, stomping over to me before shoving me through the door I was already leaving from.

I landed in a pile in the empty hallway, looking up at the angry broad with frustrated confusion, “Damn! I’m leaving already!”

“That’s right, you are! I can’t believe you think you can just waltz into my surgery and play some… horrible prank on me! Like I’m a doddering old fool?!” Prank? Does she think my boner is fake or something? “I tried to keep an open mind about you, but Seteth was right. You’re a cancerous little scum sucker that doesn’t deserve to walk the halls of Garreg Mach!”

“Chill!”

“I will not!” She stamped her foot down right between my legs, if I hadn’t dodged my butt out the way she would have crushed my dick! “Vermin! Leech! Do you not realise there's only so much heartbreak a woman like me can take?! You think I don't want to find a man like... GAH!"

"But it's r-JESUS!"

Once more I dodged her angry stamping, unfortunately losing my boner quickly from the threats and not helping my case, "I shall advise all the teachers to keep you on MAXIMUM chore duty! ANY time you are not in class you shall be shovelling shit from the stables! And if it is not done satisfactorily you won’t be sleeping until it is done! Maybe then you’ll understand the pain women go through… that you so heartlessly mock!”

“But my boner is-!”

“RARGH!!”

“Fuck! GAHH THIS SUCKS!” I yelled, scrambling to get away from the raging woman before she somehow made my situation worse…

This did not go well.

---

One Week Later

“What did you say to her?!”

“That’s the thing, I don’t even know!” I whined back at Ingrid, shovelling one more heavy pile of horse shit… and this time not metaphorically. “I thought women here wanted dick! Yet here I am!”

This was perhaps the worst thing that could have happened to me, and I’m not saying that because I’m back doing physical labour. Okay, it was partly that, but fuck was this a pain in the back that I didn’t want! I want the sexy kind of aches, where my hips are sore but happy and not my balls having a cummy ache.

Right now I was being visited by my three girls while I was in the stable, their heads poking through a window together, but I’d told them not to come in and help me. This was the first time I'd properly been able to see them all week, since I'd been dragged away from class as soon as it ended and was barred from seeing them at all. As nice as it was to see them, I needed them out there to hopefully spread some good word about me. Which will never happen if it looks like I’m getting out of chores through **** or whatever the latest spin on me is...

“Did you do the insulting of ancestors?” asked Petra.

“No more than usual.”

“Did she think you’d be bigger?” asked Ingrid.

“She refused to even look at my cock. Let alone start comparing it to others.”

“What are you going to do next?” asked Marianne.

The shovel hit hard into the pile but my shoulders sunk too low to lift it back up, “...yeah, I don’t know…” I admitted, sighing a long noise out my mouth before looking at my girls again, “No teacher in my corner is one thing, since it would have been easier to sneak around with some authority on my side… but this? I’m going to be too tired to do anything but sleep when I get back to my room, and I can’t work on any of my side projects either! I don’t get paid for these chores, it’s like she’s working me as a **** here!”

“Hey! Get out of here, you three!” Yelled a guard, and the three that had been poking their heads through quickly began walking backwards from him, “I’m under strict instructions to keep this boy working alone!”

Ingrid was still trying to be a brave knight, “But sir, we were just talk-”

“Leave!”

---

Another Week Later

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss Axel.

Actually, you know what's really crazy? I think I miss Japan too.

Neither of those places had me working to the absolute bone for nary a pittance of wealth. Every day I wake up it's a new set of chores to get done. Shovel shit, organise books, help with the lunch line, file papers, sweep the courtyard, brush the horses, then bed. I'll be lucky to get five minutes with one of my girls before I'm sleeping in their laps, and I think they're starting to get impatient waiting for me to fuck them again.

But there's nothing I can do! I'm locked in the thick of chore hell until Manuela forgives me... and trust me when I say that ain't happening soon. She seems to be using me as a way to vent all of her frustrations with men out.

The plan to get a teacher was snuffed out. Catherine and Shamir had been thoroughly warned about my 'pranking', and were just as eager to add to my chore pile as penance for my existence.

What was even the point anymore? I'll never grow a harem like this. I should have just taken the chance to go to Petra's homeland when I had the chance. At least a hunter group of Axis cultists sounds better than this. Man... I should just find a way back to Axel. I'd have a mansion, friends, and some days off every so often. If I could drag my three girls there it'd be perfect...

As it is now, I'm cooked. No way to make money, no way to get new girls, no way to even train for the big three house showdown rapidly coming up. My side hustles have all run dry, no new manga or items to be sold, I'll be lucky to afford food until Seteth expels me, let alone tuition... this is truly the end...

I was just too tired to do anything. Even now, I'm supposed to be attending to the new arrivals, but it feels like I'm just running on autopilot. Who were they again? Some band of mercenaries that helped save Claude and the other two from some bandits. Whatever, more arrivals to hate me and bully me I guess.

Walking up to one of the random carriages that had arrived I was already grabbing the reins of the horse when I remembered to put on my customer service voice.

"Hello, Ma'am. I shall take your horse to the stable now."

“K-K-K-K-Kazuma?!”

I sighed, barely registering the voice of the new mercenary in town, "Yes, Kazuma here."

"KAZUMA!" Two voices yelled, landing on top of me from the carriage in a sudden pile. I tried to push them off but there was one really heavy one that made it impossible, feeling just as hard as she did soft. Wait, she? Who was hugging me...?

“D-D-Darkness?! M-Megumin?!”

The blonde knight and the Crimson Demon. Also known as the masochistic pervert and the explosion hungry freak. My two friends from the other world that hadn't landed on a monarch when they got here. I was wondering if they were here too, but after not hearing from them or any other 'fallen visitors from the sky' for so long I thought I'd been sent here alone.

"I never thought... oh my god, it's been so long!" said Darkness, pressing her huge bulk of a body into my chest and squeezing me far too hard. I'd missed the girl's bear hugs, I'll admit.

Megumin also looked happy to see me, both of their eyes welling up a little at the reunion, "This place is crazy, Kazuma! I can't believe you pressed that button that sent us here!" She said, finding a way to ruin the moment already.

"What?! You were the one who pressed it!" I snapped back, "Oh, whatever, who cares about that stuff. Let's just go home! Please tell me you guys know how to get back?!"

"H-huh? We thought you'd know!" Fuck. There goes that plan. "We've been travelling with Captain Jeralt's band of mercenaries to get by. With all the fighting we haven't really had a chance to look for a way to escape this world..."

"Like you even want to leave," Said Megumin to Darkness, who suddenly looked quite sheepish, “You should meet Darkness’ new wife.”

I balked at that news, "WIFE?!"

“Megumin! You know she is not my wife!”

"Yet."

With only a single word, a girl with long blue hair appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Darkness’ hand. There was no fight to break away, just a long relenting sigh from the blonde as the two stood together, with one being very embarrassed while the other stoically proud. I also got a good look at the woman, and man was she pretty. Delicate and unmoving facial features, long uniquely coloured hair, a nice toned body, and strikingly sharp eyes. The booty shorts, tight brassier, and sexy stockings just begging to be ripped apart really spoke to the kind of freak that the girl was. Lucky Lalatina.

I tilted my head, “Holy shit, Darkness… did you actually tie the knot in this world?!”

“W-we’re really not married!” She insisted, to which the quiet girl nodded.

“We are sexual relief partners. I care about the support of Miss Lalatina very much.”

If you’d mix Darkness’ head colours right now it would make a very vibrant orange. Her blush was growing deeper by the second. Especially when I whistled an impressed noise.

“S-she kept giving me gifts! Like she knew exactly what I’d want! I-I-I’m not made of iron!”

Byleth did not refute, she only clarified, “Her abs are though, and I appreciated that. I was relentless in my pursuit of such a beautiful woman to be my sexual relief partner.”

“Byleetthhh!”

Wiping a single imaginary tear from my eye, I can't help but revel in her embarrassment, “This world was truly built for both of us, it seems. Every woman is as horny as you, Darkness, I’m so proud you’ve found a place for yourself~”

"Life is pretty good for me too, Kazuma!" said Megumin, proudly stomping her foot, "Captain Jeralt appreciates my explosion magic! He wants me to go back out there with him to stop more injustices with my awesome power!"

Byleth was reaching out her hand towards the girl, "Life could be even better with us though, Megumin. I have two hands to share, if you'd like to join myself and Darkness in matrimony."

"I already said I don't swing that way!" Megumin barked back.

"A pity. How about you Kazuma?"

"Okay."

Without missing a beat, Byleth retreated her hand to give it to Darkness instead, "I jest of course. Now, my love, I hope you can stay a while as I acclimate to this place. There will be plenty to see and do as I begin my new role as teacher for these..." The most amount of emotion started to run through Byleth's face as she trailed off and looked back at me again, "um, wait... hold on. Hold on a moment, d-did he just say 'okay'?"

Darkness gave both a half smile and a worried look at her lover, "I told you Kazuma was different..."

I however had something else in mind. "...you're going to be a teacher?!"