Deadpool focuses on Peter's other qualities

"How about instead..."

"Please don't" Peter begs.

"Oh come on Spidey, where is your sense of horny spirit?"

"Who you talking to Penis Parker" A voice says from behind Peter. Peter's head sunk recognizing the voice of Flash Thompson.

"Did he just call you Penis Parker?" Deadpool voice said in Peters head. Peter not liking where this might be going turned around quickly to confront Flash.

"Oh hey Flash, I'm kind of busy so I'm just going to... um... walk away... quickly", Peter said while Deadpool's voice continued to ramble, "I didn't even have to prompt that. Is that your nickname around here? I guess it probably is now. I'm so proud of you Spidey. Its amazing how far our society has come where a hot young straight white male can be open and proud about his huge penis. Hey where are you going I liked that kid"

"And that terrifies me" Peter whispers into his locker prepping his books for classes.

"Maybe its for the best Penis Parker, That kid was oddly focused on your fantastic hulk like crotch, and you have so many other fantastic qualities..."

"Please don't"

"Don't what, Penis Parker?"

"Don't do anything more to me, please."

"But if I stop now the readers will get upset that nothing substantial has happened in this chapter"

"What?"

"It's called professionalism, and I still have some pride. Now where were we?" Peter looked around in a panic, whatever Deadpool was thinking he didn't want to have it happen in front of half the school.

"You were just saying how you've decided this isn't funny anymore and change everything back." Peter whispers rushing to the nearest hopefully empty bathroom.

"Oh right we were talking about that sexy twink body of yours..." Peter paled, just a few more steps.

"Stop!" Peter says with an attempt at **** as he pushes the bathroom door closed behind him. His voice barely echoing off the stalls. Any pride in trying to stand up to his horny tormentor as Deadpool continued without a pause.

"And those huge spunk filled balls of yours..."

"Shit." Peter groans as he feels a tingling sensation in his speedo...