CHAPTER 3: Bureaucracy and Excess Calories

In the second floor hallway, Ren was leaning against the lockers, chewing on an onigiri that technically wasn't his. Koneko Toujou sat on the windowsill across from him, feet dangling, a bag of gummies in her lap. They'd been like that for a while, not talking, eating in silence like two cats sharing a rooftop.

"Shirone," Ren said without turning his head. "Serious question."

"Mm."

"That thing you're drinking, does it smell like mango or am I imagining it?"

"Tea."

"Tea of what?"

"Mango."

"Ah."

"Mm."

By her standards, that was practically a deep conversation. Ren filed it away and went back to the onigiri.

Rias appeared at the far end of the corridor like a red comet. Akeno followed a step behind, smiling at no one in particular. The other students drifted out of the way without realizing they were drifting.

"Akatsuki," Rias said when she spotted him. "How long have you been there?"

"Three minutes."

"Twenty," Koneko corrected, not looking up from the gummies.

"Shirone, don't sell me out."

"Mm."

"And what's that you're eating?" Rias asked, ignoring the subplot.

"An onigiri."

"Yours?"

"Now it is."

Akeno laughed. Not the controlled laugh she practiced in the mirror, the other one. The one that slipped out when something actually got her.

"Come on," Rias said, not laughing, but not annoyed either. "We need to introduce you to someone."

"Who?"

"Sona Sitri. Student Council."

"Sounds boring."

"It is. But it's necessary."

*Bureaucratic meetings at nine in the morning,* Ren thought. *Wonderful. The life of a Balancer is exactly what I signed up for.*

Akeno hooked his arm without asking.

"Come on, Ren kun. You're gonna hate her."

"That usually happens."

"That's why it's gonna be fun."

"Is there coffee in that office?" Ren asked as they walked.

"No."

"Tea?"

"Yes."

"Cookies?"

"Sometimes."

"Then I'm in," Ren decided, slowing his pace just enough to fall in directly behind Rias. "Although the view from back here already makes the trip worth it. Gremory, that uniform does miracles with the curve of your hips, but the fabric kinda lacks elasticity for the volume you're working with."

Rias sighed ahead of them without turning around, although her shoulders tensed noticeably.

"You're not gonna steal cookies from the Sitris, and keep your eyes on the back of my head, Akatsuki."

"I wasn't gonna steal them, Gremory. I was gonna borrow them."

"And return them later?"

"Digested. And about my eyes, I'm a Balancer, my job is to inspect every available terrain. Yours happens to be a pretty expansive territory."

Koneko made a sound that could've been a laugh or a snort. With her, it was hard to tell.

"Closet pervert," she muttered, popping another gummy into her mouth.

"No closet, Shirone," Ren corrected without flinching. "My whole inventory is public."

***

The Student Council office smelled like new paper and expensive tea. White walls. Dark desks. The air had weight to it.

Sona Sitri was behind the main desk when they walked in. Black hair, thin glasses, a uniform that looked freshly ironed that very morning. Her vice president, a tall girl with a face that said she took everything seriously, stood beside her.

"Rias," Sona said. "You're late."

"I was on time."

"For me, being on time is being late."

"I know. That's why I did it."

Sona adjusted her glasses. Her gaze drifted to Ren, who had already settled on the windowsill with his legs crossed.

"This is him?"

"Ren Akatsuki," Rias answered. "My new Balancer."

"Why is he on the window?"

"I like the light," Ren answered before Rias could.

"The windowsill isn't for sitting."

"Then it's a poorly designed windowsill."

The vice president, standing next to Sona, swallowed what was probably an ugly word. Sona inhaled slowly, like someone who had spent years putting up with problem students.

"Akatsuki san, let's get something straight," she said. "In this Academy, there are rules. They exist to maintain coexistence between devils, humans, and other invisible factions. I'm the one who enforces them."

"Got it."

"You didn't listen to me."

"I listened. Rules. You enforce them. Got it on the first try."

Sona pressed her lips together. Akeno bit the inside of her cheek.

*This lady gets migraines even when she doesn't have them,* Ren thought. *She's gonna lose three years off her life because of me.*

"Tsubaki," Sona said. "The form."

The vice president opened a drawer, pulled out a thick folder, and slid it across the desk. Ren looked at it from the windowsill without moving.

"No."

"You don't even know what it is."

"I know it's paper. I know it has a blank line with your signature underneath. That's a contract."

"It's not a contract."

"It looks like a contract."

"It's a form."

"Worse."

Sona inhaled long and slow. The inhale of someone who had been perfecting that technique for years.

"Akatsuki san, you already signed a supernatural pact with Gremory yesterday. I know. That kind of magic makes the Academy's magical protections tremble for an entire hour. My tea got cold."

"You're welcome."

"That pact is binding between your power and her House. That does nothing for me."

"And what works for you?"

"A piece of paper. An academic record that says you exist, that you're under Gremory supervision, and that when a teacher asks why there's a Balancer eating onigiris on a hallway windowsill, I can show them a folder and tell them he's authorized."

"That's all?"

"That's all. It has no magic. It doesn't bind you to anything the contract with Rias didn't already bind you to. It's bureaucracy."

"Then why do you need it?"

"Because my tea has suffered enough on account of you people."

Ren considered the document. He opened it with two fingers. Small print. Stamps. He flipped through.

"Three pages?"

"Three pages."

"That's a lot of paper to say I exist."

"Welcome to public administration."

Akeno laughed quietly from her chair.

"Once a year they make me fill out mine too," she commented. "It's tradition."

"I don't find it funny, Himejima."

"I do."

Tsubaki extended a pen toward Ren with the solemnity of someone presenting a ceremonial sword. Ren accepted it.

"With blood?" he asked, more out of habit than hope.

"With a pen."

"Disappointing."

He signed all three pages without reading them. Tsubaki recovered the folder like it was something fragile and returned it to the drawer.

"One more thing," Sona added. "I don't want scandals. I don't want fights in hallways. I don't want your power manifesting in front of human students."

"Done."

"Just like that?"

"I do what I'm told as long as they let me eat."

Sona blinked. She looked at Rias.

"Is he always like this?"

"Based on what I've seen of him," Rias answered, "yes."

"I'm gonna have a migraine."

"Welcome to the club," Akeno said, having the time of her life.

Tsubaki had been silent up to that point. She cleared her throat.

"President, if I may, we should also explain the protocol for incidents during class hours."

"Go ahead."

Tsubaki turned to Ren with the posture of someone who had rehearsed a speech.

"Akatsuki san, if at any point you detect supernatural activity within the campus, you must report it to the Student Council before taking action. The procedure includes a three page form and the signature of a superior."

Ren stared at her for two full seconds.

"A form?" he asked.

"Three pages."

"While the incident is happening?"

"Preferably afterward, but before taking unilateral action."

"So if a devil is eating a student, first I fill out three pages."

"You report the incident," Tsubaki corrected. "Then you act."

"Is there a short version of the form?"

"No."

"Digital version?"

"We're working on it."

"I'm gonna ignore the form."

"Akatsuki san, that's not..."

"Ignored."

Sona pinched the bridge of her nose above her glasses.

"Rias, take him away. Now."

She waved toward the door, and they filed out in the reverse order they'd come in. Ren snagged a cookie from the tea tray on his way out. No one claimed it.

***

Academy courtyard. Noon. Ren sat on a bench under a tree, working through the stolen cookie and a melon bread that had mysteriously appeared from his backpack.

Akeno dropped down next to him without an invitation.

"Where do you keep getting all that food?" she asked.

"I have a supply network."

"Classmates too afraid to complain?"

"That's the network, yeah."

Akeno laughed. She stretched her legs out in front of her and closed her eyes against the sun.

"How was Sona?" she asked.

"Nice girl. Gonna die young from stress."

"That's what I always say."

"Rias should help her out."

"Rias is part of the problem."

"Exactly."

A pause. Akeno opened one eye.

"Ren kun."

"Mm?"

"Do you ever take anything seriously?"

Ren chewed for a long time before answering.

"When I need to."

"And when's that?"

"When someone's trying to kill me."

"That happens more often than you'd think in this group."

"Yeah, I'm picking up on that."

Akeno closed her eye again. She was smiling for no apparent reason. Ren let her smile.

***

The old gym sat where any unused gym should sit. Dust. Faded mats. A deflated ball in one corner.

Rias, Akeno, and Koneko came out of the locker room in athletic gear. Ren sat against the back wall and opened a fresh bento, this one actually purchased.

"Eating again?" Akeno asked while stretching.

"I'm a growing Balancer."

"You've been eating since I met you."

"It's a coincidence."

"It's not a coincidence."

"You're right, it isn't."

Rias clapped twice.

"We're starting. Akeno, Koneko, basic attack and defense. I'll direct. Akatsuki, observe."

"Observe and eat," Ren clarified.

"Whatever."

Akeno raised her hands and yellow lightning crackled out of her palms. Koneko moved first. She dropped low, dodged to the left, jumped, countered with a punch that cut the air with a dry whistle. Akeno blocked with a small barrier and answered with another bolt.

Ren chewed his octopus.

*Pretty,* he thought. *Disciplined. Boring.*

Ten minutes. Fifteen. Akeno was starting to sweat. Koneko wasn't even breathing harder.

"Well?" Rias asked without turning around. "What are you seeing?"

"That they're well trained."

"Be more specific."

"Koneko always attacks from the same side. Akeno takes too long between bolts. You're not doing anything."

Rias turned around. Akeno froze mid kick. Koneko landed softly and looked at Ren with interest.

"That I'm not doing anything?" Rias repeated.

"You haven't thrown a single attack the whole session. You direct. That works fine until a real enemy doesn't give you time to direct."

"I'm the team coordinator."

"You're the coordinator until someone wants to put a fist in your face."

Silence. Akeno covered her mouth with her hand.

"Did you just criticize all three of us?" she asked, laughter leaking through her fingers.

"Eating," Koneko added quietly.

"Yes," Ren answered. "Got a problem?"

"No." Akeno dropped to the floor, still laughing. "No, it's good. Nobody's said anything useful to us in a while."

Koneko walked over and sat on the floor next to Ren, still breathing a little hard. She lifted a piece of octopus from his bento without asking.

"What about me?" she asked.

"What about you?"

"Predictable?"

Ren watched her eat the octopus. She was as fast with it as she was with her fists.

"You're fast. Efficient. You always attack from the same side because that's where you have more strength."

"Is that bad?"

"That's good until somebody notices."

"Did you notice?"

"In the first minute."

Koneko nodded slowly, accepting the information without letting her ego take a hit.

"I'll work on it."

"Good girl."

She kicked his leg with the top of her foot. Small. Almost affectionate.

Rias watched him for a long second. Then she smiled. It was a small smile, not entirely kind.

"Akatsuki, come here."

"No."

"That was an order."

"Still no."

"If you come, I'll buy you ramen after."

Ren stood up.

Akeno laughed so hard Koneko had to help her sit up straight.

***

The sparring lasted three minutes.

Rias tried to hit him with hands wrapped in flame. Ren moved like someone who had learned to dodge punches in alleys, not dojos. He blocked with his palm. He touched Rias's hands with a finger and the fire went out before it could form.

"That's not fair," she said, throwing another burst that dissolved in the air before it reached him.

"You asked for it."

"I thought you'd fight."

"I am fighting."

"You're touching my hands."

"That's fighting."

Rias tried a spinning kick. Ren ducked under it with the ease of a cat sliding out from under a chair. By the time she landed, he was already three steps back, chewing something he'd shoved in his mouth on the way.

"Are you eating again?"

"I had peanut butter in my pocket."

"Why did you have peanut butter in your pocket?"

"Because I always have peanut butter in my pocket."

"Stop," she finally said, breathing hard. "Stop. It's not fair."

"You wanted this."

"I wanted to see what you could do."

"You saw it."

Rias straightened up and ran a hand across her forehead.

"Don't ever erase my power like that again. It feels weird."

"Noted."

Ren was already heading back to the bento he'd abandoned against the wall. Akeno was still on the floor, laughing quietly like it was the best morning she'd had in months.

"What about the ramen?" Ren asked without turning around.

"After the next session."

"Cheater."

"Coordinator."

***

The car smelled like perfume and fresh gasoline. Akeno rode shotgun with her bare feet on the dashboard. Koneko slept with her head against the back window. Ren stared out his side.

"Did you like your first official day?" Rias asked from the wheel.

"I didn't sign a contract to like my days."

"That's not a no."

"It's not a yes either."

Akeno yawned.

"Rias, I told you. He likes us. He just doesn't know how to show it."

"Nobody likes me yet," Ren corrected. "I've been at this for forty eight hours."

"I like you."

"Akeno, shut up."

"I like you, Ren kun."

"Shut up."

Rias laughed this time. A tired laugh, but a real one.

They stopped in front of the dorm. Ren got out without saying goodbye, empty bento tucked under his arm.

***

Eleven at night.

Ren was on his back, staring at the ceiling. The math test he'd invented the day before had stopped being an excuse. It was a real test, tomorrow, and he hadn't studied a thing.

*This is what happens when you lie,* he thought. *The universe finds out and punishes you with a real exam.*

Something was watching him.

He sat up slowly. The feeling was the same as the night before. Weight pressing on his consciousness. Pure presence.

He walked to the window without turning on the light. The yard was dark. Trees. The yellow streetlights in the distance. Nothing visible.

And then he saw them. Again.

Golden eyes. Under the warehouse. Ancient.

This time they didn't blink right away. They studied him. Ren studied them back. His right hand started vibrating silver under his skin without him calling on it.

*That's not a devil. The smell is different. Hotter. Older.*

The eyes blinked once.

They vanished.

"Great," Ren muttered. "One more thing I don't get."

He went back to bed. This time he didn't even bother pretending to sleep. He kept his hands under the pillow, ready. Inside the fire of his silver power, something resonated. A call from somewhere deep in the earth. Something awake. Something that wanted to know who the new Balancer was.

***

The next morning's hallway smelled like bad coffee and disinfectant. Ren was walking toward his math class, mentally prepared to fail with dignity, when somebody passed him heading the other way.

A guy. Normal uniform. Brown hair. A face that said he didn't care about anything. Ren wouldn't have given him a second look.

But when they crossed paths, something growled.

It wasn't the guy. It was something inside him.

Ren's right hand vibrated silver without permission. His power answered like it recognized somebody.

The guy stopped dead. He turned his head slowly.

His eyes were golden.

The same as the warehouse.

"You smell like nothing," the guy said, stepping closer. "That's weird."

The voice wasn't entirely his. There was something else underneath it. Something older.

"And you smell like reheated lizard," Ren answered without moving. "We're even."

The guy tilted his head. His pupils sharpened for a second, slitted like a reptile's, then went back to normal.

"What are you?"

"A pain in the ass for your kind of thing, apparently."

"What kind of thing am I?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out."

The guy smiled. The smile didn't reach his eyes.

"Issei Hyoudou," he said. "My name's Issei Hyoudou. And I have a question for you, Balancer."

"Which is?"

"Not today."

"Ah. Great. I love people who come up to talk to me and then don't talk to me."

Issei smiled for real this time. A quick smile, almost friendly, like underneath the dragon there was still a high school kid who didn't take himself too seriously.

"I like you," he said. "The thing inside, no. But you, yeah."

"The thing inside?"

"You'll find out."

"That's exactly the kind of answer I hate."

"I know."

Issei turned around and walked off like nothing had happened. Other students passed him without noticing anything off.

Ren stayed planted in the hallway with his hand still vibrating.

*My grandmother told me,* he thought. *She told me to my face, don't mess with dragons, Ren. And I, as always, didn't listen.*

He showed up five minutes late to math class. The teacher chewed him out. Ren didn't hear it. He was thinking about golden eyes. About the voice inside a voice. About his power, restless for two nights running for no apparent reason.

He failed the test. He didn't care.

Something was coming for him. Something big. Something awake.

Not today.

But soon.

Very soon.

Ren stared at the classroom clock without seeing it. His right hand kept vibrating under his sleeve, in small steady pulses, like a phone on silent buzzing inside a pocket.

"Don't bother me," he murmured to his own hand. "I'm in class."

The hand didn't listen.

It was going to be a long week.