Britney & Madonna

You assume the role of an MTV awards-show director, in the back stage, prepping for the upcoming music show which is days away.

"You want to... What?" you say in disbelief to the two international stars before you.

"Well... For the dancing number... We want to kiss," said Madonna, obviously the smarter and more commanding of the two.

"It's going to be hard to get past the censors," you say.

"It's not like I'm going to be eating her pussy on stage," sighed Madonna, speaking with a semi-British accent, so fake, so put on. Just like everything about two mindless pop stars like these two.

Britney Spears. For repressed men across America she'd been the ultimate jack-off fantasy since the late nineties. It was always said there were two types of women: Virgins and Whores. Britney represented the transfer from the virginal, innocent, Mickey Mouse-club cheerleader, to... A leather-wearin', girl-kissin', hard-partyin' fuck machine. A dirty blonde with healthy sun-tan, she was always a beauty no matter how annoying she got.

And then there was Madonna. She'd been the ultimate jack-off fantasy for American, and international men since the early '80s. She'd gone through more style changes than a schizophrenic. From Bondage Madonna, to Slutty Madonna, to Mommy Madonna, to the new Trying-to-Recapture-Youth-and-Follow-Crazy-Religions Madonna image, she had done it all and invented half of it. A lighter blonde, she had a fine, sleek body, usually in leather.

You look them over:"I guess I can approve this... As long as you two give me a demonstration right now."