Back to the books

You don't recall research ever being this frustrating. At least in the deadlines and assignments at the academy, you had access to its immense archives, and staff. Now, you're on your own, and with far fewer academic resources. You've been appreciative of Fracila's patience with your lack of answers and progress, yet the frustrations persist.

You're not just mad that you're trying to figure out a singular problem that even most of your professor couldn't tackle. You're frustrated with yourself and how you behaved on the expedition. The carnal behavior you engaged in, both by yourself and with Vhail, fill you with regret. The other orc didn't do anything you didn't consent to, and your first time admittedly felt amazing. This doesn't change that what you did was unprofessional and immoral. That you've caught yourself staring at Yoloka and his cute butt since you've been back hasn't helped either. . This isn't like you, you've reminded yourself. You've been able to get through all of your schooling until now with good behavior, so what was the sudden change?

Perhaps nothing has changed, you realized. The frequency in which you've resolved your loneliness firsthand suggests your libido hasn't always been as constrained and low as you'd like to think. It wasn't that you were such a stalwart professional, so much as it was that you were just completely ignored by students and staff alike, and now that you've gotten attention, you don't know how to handle it. You've tried to bury yourself in your work, but that's proving to be difficult when your crush is also a coworker.

And a persistently present crush, at that. You were scouring through 'the racks' again, trying to find some book or scroll that could provide answers, when Yoloka seemingly jumped into your periphery, that charming smile ready.

"It's not that I'm trying to scare you away, but how many times are you going to go visit this section before you decide to move on?"

"Gods!" you nearly jump at his startle "stop doing that. How is it that you're so quiet?"

"It's a library Herida, you're supposed to be quiet"

You couldn't resist rolling your eyes at his humor. "Fine. I'm not giving up on this Yoloka. There has to be an answer."

"Not to start a fight with the local wizard but no, there doesn't have to be, and certainly not in these books."

You felt yourself droop in the **** of the proceeding argument. He wasn't a wizard, unless he was keeping some great secret from everyone, so his ability to speak from authority on this was limited. "Okay, tell me, what are the other options?"

"well, for one" He grabbed a random book for demonstration "we don't have the right books or the amount of them for what you're engaging in. This is a very niche, some may even say fringe, area of study and application."

"But that still doesn't explain why there doesn't have to be an answer. If magic did it, people who use magic should be able to understand it."

He smiled. Again. Damn him and that smile, you thought. It was so hard to keep focus "It may not have been magical at all. At the very least, you're trained in the arcane magic, but that's scarcely all there is. Holy clerics, stoic druids, even bards and witches can channel magical energy in ways that wizards cannot."

Realizing the validity of his point was frustrating, but the realization that this opened up the realm of possibility so much wider overrode that; you were daunted and overwhelmed. "Fuck" you let out loud "so you're saying there's no answers."

"No, I'm not saying that" his tone was polite as ever. He put the book back to it's place before stepping close to you. You could lean on him if you wanted to, and a part of you did. "I'm just saying that you may need to look at things from different angles before throwing in the towel. You only learned about one form of magic and learned it one way. There's more ideas out there, even within D'arcan. I've heard that there's a Mystic in town somewhere."

"I've heard of them" Vrishkan Mystics were a small, eccentric cult. They had a different relationship with magic than most, and through their ideals, were granted divine powers more accustomed to a cleric or minister. "You really think they'd have an answer?"

"I don't know" he shrugged "It can't hurt to try. They're a little weird, I'll give you that, but they know their stuff. If there is a Mystic in town, they're probably the biggest expert on magic in the city."

"Any idea where I might find them?" You asked

"I've got a vague hunch. I don't suppose I can come with and help?"

You were slightly taken aback by his request "You really want to help me find a solitary weirdo wizard? Why?"

"It'll be more interesting than this" He replied as he moved his arm to the bookshelf "and I could use the exercise. I'm one of the only ones who didn't get to go on that expedition. Come on, could be fun. "