BAE - Chapter 54

No. It’s not worth the risk.

Barbara is naked in Lex Luthor’s penthouse. It’s not the time to screw around. Zatanna is powerful, but she’s not a goddess. She can’t do miracles if they get into trouble.

“Gonna need more than kitty for this,” Zatanna says as they stand in front of the vault. She snaps Barbara’s fingers and a four-leaf clover appears in Barbara’s palm. She snaps her other fingers, and an old, stone scarab appears.

Balancing both objects on one palm, Zatanna closes Barbara’s eyes and spins the dial on the safe. It’s open in about five seconds.

Zatanna considers the spacious room on the other side of the huge door, which is packed with crates, boxes, weapon racks, machinery, and all manner of strange things. She flicks the four-leaf clover into the vault, and a laser beam instantly vaporizes it.

Then there’s a crackle of failing machinery.

“Perfect,” Zatanna’s voice says in Barbara’s mind. “What were we looking for again? Nevermind.” She strolls to a shelf, where a battered canvas messenger bag is wadded up carelessly. It’s covered in buttons that say things like THINK BEFORE YOU TRASH IT.

She slings the bag over Barbara’s bare shoulder and walks out of the vault.

A minute later they’re back on the roof, and Barbara is hurriedly pulling on her costume as cold night air washes over her exposed skin.

“Thanks for your help. Send the bill to the Batcave.”

“It was my pleasure,” Zatanna says warmly. “I’m glad that Gotham’s in good hands.”

Barbara pauses in the act of pulling on her boot. “Thanks,” she says, embarrassed.

“Goodnight, Barbara Gordon. I’ll see you around.”

“Goodnight,” Barbara replies dazedly. It’s surreal.

The presence in her body is gone.

She swiftly finishes dressing and grapples down from the rooftop, landing in the cockpit of the Car. The canopy slams shut and the dashboard display lights up as the engine hums.

“I’ve got Dr. Isley’s things, Alfred.”

“I trust Ms. Zatanna was helpful.”

Barbara squints suspiciously but chooses not to press the matter. There’s something different about Alfred’s voice, or rather the way that he said Zatanna’s name.

“We’ll need to examine these tools before I give them to her. And we’ll need to coordinate with Lucius.”

“Would you like me to appraise him of your position on Ms. Aramaki’s loyalties?” Alfred asks.

“Might as well. Hopefully, I’m overreacting.” That’s what Barbara says, but Aki Aramaki is an egoist. She’s not the same as someone like Nygma or the Joker, but they aren’t as different as she would probably like to think. Tonight, Barbara rebuffed overtures both professional and personal. There’s no scenario in which Aki simply lets that go.

“Very good.”

There’s a call coming through.

“Oh no,” Barbara says, cringing. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then punches the button. “Dick, I’m working.”

“If that were true, you wouldn’t have picked up.” He sounds good.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know what you’re doing with Wayne Enterprises.”

“Worried about your trust?”

“I’m worried about you,” he says.

So Barbara’s making headlines in Bludhaven. That’s no surprise.

“I’m doing what Bruce wanted me to do. Taking his place.”

“They’re saying that you’re protecting criminals. Batgirl is making friends with Harley Quinn. And Barbara Gordon is going to bat for Poison Ivy,” he accuses.

“You’ve gone to bat for Poison Ivy,” Barbara retorts. The very first time she laid eyes on Poison Ivy, she had both Bruce and Dick strung up with vines and they were under her spell. Barbara had been seventeen at the time, and she can’t decide which part of that experience was the worst: that she had to fight off a lovestruck Bruce and Dick to get to the pump that shooting Ivy’s chemicals into that greenhouse or that the entire time, Bruce and Dick both had raging erections that had been visible even inside their costumes.

This had been thirty minutes after Ivy left the building, and these two had still been hard. She’d done that by kissing them. Meanwhile, Barbara had to work way harder than that in bed just for Dick to immediately roll over and go to sleep. Barbara tries not to think about the way that Ivy has affected her self-esteem.

“That’s not fair,” Dick replies defensively.

He’s right. It’s not. After all, when Barbara is able to put Dick out of her mind and lean into her weird new, penis-having self, she’s not opposed to the idea of… going to bat for Pamela Isley.

“What do you want, Dick?” she repeats.

“What do I want? I want you to move in with me in Bludhaven. Meet my dog.”

Barbara smiles. Her gloved hands tighten on the wheel until her knuckles pop.

“But I know that’s not going to happen,” Dick goes on.

That hurts. Barbara swallows.

“So at the very least, I want to be able to trust you to call me if you need me. It’s a big job. Bruce didn’t have to do it alone, and you don’t either. I know you can handle yourself, Babs. But we all need help sometimes. I don’t want to lose you.”

Barbara resists the urge to punch the steering wheel. She takes several deep breaths.

“I’m working with Kate. Zatanna too. If things work out, Ivy as well. I think you’ll be the one calling us for help,” she says and ends the call.

“Ms. Gordon, are you entirely well?” Alfred asks.

“I’m fine!” Barbara sags in her seat and lets out a sigh. “I’m starting to see like Bruce liked to just fool around. It’s easier.”

“Quite.”

“I don’t want him here, Alfred. I love him too much. We need to stay focused.”

“I defer to your judgment. Speaking of which, the alarm has just been raised at Arkham. I trust you’ll be attending? I expect Ms. Kane is keen.”

Barbara groans and fires up the engines. She hesitates before putting her foot down.

Arkham is considerably more secure than it used to be. It’s still far from impregnable, but only heavy hitters make moves there these days. Whatever’s going on, it’s likely to be high-stakes.

Should Barbara handle it alone?

Or have Kate meet her there?