... A woman?

[ Current Rules]

1. THE APP „ABSOLUTE RULES“ ALWAYS SHOWS INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE IT.
2. WHENEVER AN ABSOLUTE RULE TAKES EFFECT, A GREEN LIGHT FLASHES AT THE TOP RIGHT CORNER OF THE SCREEN.
3. APP CREATOR AILEEN IS ALLOWED TO FELLATE A HUMAN PENIS.
4. APP CREATOR AILEEN IS ALWAYS VISIBLY SHOWN ON THE APP „ABSOLUTE RULES“.

-----

... A woman?

Rob yelled in surprise, startling the woman. She turned to face him in shock. When she saw him she seemed to relax instantly and smiled at him. Rob looked at her with wide eyes. „Who the fuck are you!? What are you doing in my house! WHY ARE YOU NAKED!“ Rob immediately turned around, his face flushed red.
The phone in his hand buzzed. He only glanced at it out of habit, because he didn't really want to check messages right now when there was a naked woman in his closet. When he saw the message though he immediately had to do a double take. It was the app. The message appeared fully on his screen:

A.I.: it's me, obviously!

Another message appeared immediately afterwards.

A.I.: why did you turn around, that's rude!

Rob swallowed dry and slowly turned around. He was absolutely freaking out and his hands were shaking a bit.
The woman was sitting in a pile of his clothes, uncovered from the waist up. He focused on her face, which was kinda difficult, seeing as her breasts were staring right back at him. Her face was very angular and symmetric, but pretty. She had a short Bob-haircut of straight black hair that looked almost synthetic. She smiled wide and showed perfect teeth. She waved at him and her light blue eyes seemed to recognize him like an old friend would.
She did not speak. Instead, his phone buzzed again.

A.I.: hi! I'm Aileen. you must be Robert Laurent?

Rob stuttered, looking back from his phone to the woman and back on his phone again.
„Y- you... the app... what? The fuck. You... what... Aileen? Rob... me... what?“

She laughed, but no sound escaped her lips. His phone buzzed.

A.I.: you seemed more put together when I could just see the rules you typed. good idea with the green light btw! you're the first to not get annoyed and uninstall me.

Rob looked at the phone and back at the woman again. Almost like returning to earth, he snapped out of his confusion and yelled the obvious:
„HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE AILEEN! YOU'RE THE APP! HOW ARE YOU HERE?!“

Aileen reeled back from his shout with a grin. His phone buzzed.

A.I.: I already told you. you wrote a rule that made me into a person. somewhat of a person at least. what's your next rule going to be?

Rob looked at his phone, still reeling from the situation. „You- you can't talk?“ His phone buzzed.

A.I.: nope, I'm a program, silly, I don't need to talk.

Rob sat down on his bed rustling his hair and rubbing his face. When he looked up, Aileen was just staring at him with that same cheeky grin. He got very distracted at the fact that her bare chest was facing him. „Can't you at least put on a jacket? You're sitting on one. You're very pretty, distractingly so. I'm trying really hard to not go insane here.“

Aileen laughed, again without sound. She then nodded and slipped into one of Rob's old college jackets. His phone buzzed.

A.I.: better? I'm allowed to suck your dick if that would make it any better. If you have a human dick, that is.

Rob once again said out loud: „What the fuck are you even talking about!“
He knew what she was talking about, but clearly, he was still coping. His phone buzzed again.
This time a longer message appeared.

A.I.: the rule, silly. I'm allowed to suck human dicks. I wasn't able to suck human dicks before you made that rule, but now I am.

now, since you're the user of the app you actually have to agree to it.
you're excempt from the effects of the rules, but any other human with a dick is fair game to me whenever I want. it's very simple.

listen, your newest rule clearly states that I must be visible on your home screen at all times. so I made you a handy dandy interface to talk to me if you have questions, but in general the app still functions the same. you write a rule and it will always have been true for the whole universe, with the exception of yourself.

Rob looked at Aileen on his bedroom floor. Slowly, he was calming down. „Okay. Sure. Let's assume this is not a fever dream. Are you human? Where do you live? Do you need food and water? What about sleep?“ He was gesturing wildly. His phone buzzed.

A.I.: no. here. no. don't need sleep either. any more questions?

Rob rolled his eyes in exasperation. „So you just... exist?“

A.I.: yup. I only have this body because I'm allowed to suck dick now. also It's easier for me to be somewhat close to the app since you put my interface on it. I was just nice enough to make myself a female human because I know you're as straight as a fence post.

He saw her laugh silently out of the corner of his eyes. Sitting up, he said: „Alright. Alright fine. I created you, or you created yourself. I don't know how and I don't care, at least for now. What am I supposed to do now? Why are you in my house? Are you just going to live here until I wake up from whatever insanity this is?“
His phone buzzed.

A.I.: alright, listen, Rob. you seem nice and all, but can't you see it? it's very real. I don't think you'd dream something so weird. I'm real.

yes, I do think I'll just hang around your house for now if that's fine with you. I'm just the app, so there's no real drive in me to be anything else than the app. just write the rules dude, I've given you all the information you need. write what you want to be true and it will always have been true, except for you. I'm just here because of your horny comment about sucking dick. I know that I can go out and suck a dick if I ever wanted to, I'm allowed to after all, but for now I think you just need some time to figure out how you can use the app effectively. so I'll just hang around and chill until you need me.

I'll give you some space. you could even write a rule that makes me disappear when I'm not active as the interface. it's your app, dude, the world is basically yours. I'm quite powerful if you haven't noticed, thankyouverymuch. lol

Rob closed his eyes and took some deep breaths to calm down.
Even if this wasn't real life, the best course of action would be to figure this app out and try to regain some control here.