A few surprises for Maisie

Yes, of course, I loved Maisie from the moment I realized that girls could be loved, not just pulled by their pigtails and played with on PlayStation.

And no, I never fell in love with other girls. In that sense, I was a "virgin." In a spiritual sense.

However, when I turned 16 and went to bed after my birthday, I woke up on a CIA business jet, already landing at Las Vegas airport. Yes, for all its comedy, the film "True Lies" is sometimes absurdly close to the truth :-).

So, for the next two weeks, I never slept in the same room twice, and I quickly figured out the pattern:

My father organized my "sex excursion" so that I slept with a representative of every possible nation, every possible strata (from elite escorts to streetwalkers on the verge of alarming the Atlanta CDC) and tried as many "techniques" as possible, short of the truly perverted.

And yes, when on the fourth day (and the twelfth priestess of love), I, sitting in a cafe over a cup of strong coffee, explained my guess about the pattern to my father, he proudly patted me on the head and explained:

"You see, Brad, ideally, sex should be an extension of feelings. The highest embodiment of love between a man and a woman. However, you know that our world is a world of twilight, between light and darkness, guarding our country." And while ordinary people have the right to a happy life before God, we must dive into the mud to allow them to do so. And in our world, sex is most often a weapon, a master key, a means of manipulation. And in this "battle in bed," the one who is better prepared wins. So, finish your coffee, son. "Many sleepless nights ahead!"

The most touching part of this story was that my mother was aware of and even directly involved in developing the program for this exotic "training."

Basically, what Maisie thought was "Brad and his dad were canoeing somewhere in Canada" was something else entirely. Incidentally, I can't help but credit my mother's talent for preparing the physical evidence, including photographs. I understand that they don't hire just anyone as a senior NSA analyst, but this was truly top-notch. Of those who followed my Instagram, no one suspected a thing.

So, when Maisie suddenly pounced on me and started kissing me passionately, literally ripping my shirt off in the process, I was only taken aback for a split second, which was enough to process what was happening. The next moment, I forcefully growled, "Maisie! "Stay in the same state and mood, but for now, sit in the chair. I'll get home soon, we'll come up to my place, and you can continue from where you left off!" After which, without looking at the girl (she obviously did as I said), I rushed towards the house...