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Chapter 6
by
ignoremepleaseand
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01 Section E
That's right! It's now time for the Shit-Down, where we give you all of the latest and greatest shit related news. Apparently Emma Watson has been pressured into starting a "eat poop for charity" fundraiser by her agent. She will eat 1/2 lb of poop every time somebody donates a dollar. Some celebrities have already said they'd be donating as much as $50 million dollars each. She will be doing this for either: as many donations as she can get in one month, or until she reaches 1 billion dollars, whichever comes later. The whole process will be streamed through Share-E, a popular social media sight for sexual content.
Speaking of charity events, the annual Shit-Dunk is going on. Anyone can pay $5 and pick any attractive girl on the planet, and they are **** to be dunked in shit for around 20 seconds over and over again until an hour passes. All of these are also live-streamed, of course. Celebrities are usually the main targets, but sometimes random people may dunk their crushes, or just pick a random person and dunk them. At such a low cost, it makes it SUPER easy and affordable as well. This is just another great example of a fantastic worldwide holiday enacted by the "New United Nations".
Moving on from donation charity events, lets talk about some trends. The first is the "Poop in the face" challenge, inspired by the classic "Pie in the face". In it, girls will stream themselves shitting into pie tins until they are full, and then smashing them in the faces of various people, whether that be friends, colleagues, or strangers. Many hilarious reactions have been posted on Share-E. Another popular trend is the "Poop Scoop". This is a trending hairdo in which girls every morning will circle their heads in poo, making it appear as if the tops of their heads were a chocolate ice cream scoop. As the day goes on, the poop will slowly start to drip down the girl's face, leading to many entertaining moments. A machine to make this haircut for YOUR girls will only set you back around $50, so it is very cheap. Our last trend is a popular video called "Poop Sandwich". The video starts out with a large booty-ed black girl doing the classic "bending over" position. Next, a shy looking white girl, who very clearly doesn't want to be here, stands a few feet behind the black girl and then also bends forward until her face lines up with the black girl's butt, then proceeds to bury her face in as deep as possible. Then, another, similar (to the first girl) looking black girl sits on the white girl's head, effectively sandwiching her head in between their butts. All of a sudden, some men in the background start peeing all over them from a distance, getting them all sticky, while the two black girls start streaming out shit. The white girl is almost drowning in poop, but more keeps coming. Eventually, the white girl begins to vomit repeatedly all over the black girls, making them more messy. By this point, it has been about 5 minutes and all three girls are visibly uncomfortable. However, this continues on for about another 2 hours, until finally all three girls get up and stand on a weird looking platform. A massive blob of shit about 3 times their combined size drops on them, trapping them in it. Then, a platform matching the first drops down from the ceiling, landing on them. It is then reveled that the top and bottom platforms are actually giant pieces of bread, and they start squishing down until they get pretty close together, trapping all 3 girls in a poop sandwich.
Onto the International portion. Firstly, we would like to talk about the way toilet slaves work in Japan. In the U.S., it is typical for toilet slaves in public restrooms to be lines up against a wall for peeing for males, sat under a seat for pooping for males, and for females laying on the floor and licking as the excretion comes out for both cases. However, in Japan, almost all of these have 2-3 girls per station, allowing for more efficient and sexy waste disposal. You can order groups of Japanese slaves to be your personal toilets HERE. Off the coast of Sweden is a boat filled with a crew of dozens of butt naked women, and around 8 men who spank, ****, grope, and command them. This is a modern day "pirate ship". They are contracted by outside bidders to go near either small towns or other boats, and then fire their cannons at them. The only things is, their "cannon-balls" are made out of poop. In seconds, volley after volley of poop can be shot upon enemy girl pirate ships. The men have a special area to take cover in such an instance, but if under attack, all girls are **** to report to the outer deck to be fired upon. They then must clean off the deck with only their tongues so that it is clean enough for the male crew to come back through. In city-wide instances, a similar protocol applies, with the women of whatever town being **** to clean it up albeit on a much larger scale typically.
That's all we have for this week's Shit-Down, thanks for reading.
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ShittyNews
A Magazine like no other
A magazine that covers all of the goings on in the world of celebrities.
Updated on Apr 9, 2024
by ignoremepleaseand
Created on Jun 29, 2022
by ignoremepleaseand
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