...with difficulty.

Over the next week, both Teysa and Aliara did their best to return to their prior routine. When they were together, they talked idly, reminiscing about their past adventures or catching up on the gossip of the day. Whenever their conversations turned to their future, however, one or the other would deftly change the subject, or they would lapse into an awkward silence. Nor had they been intimate since Teysa's hatching. The thought of it stirred up a scintilla of fear in the pit of Aliara's stomach. What would she say if Teysa asked? What could she say? The skin below Teysa's navel now blended seamlessly into chitinous carapace. Even if Aliara had wanted to pleasure her, she wasn't sure how. The very thought of it made her nauseous. Nor could they sleep together anymore; they had tried, once, but the feeling of those thin, segmented legs against Aliara's hips made her skin crawl. She hadn't said anything, but she hadn't needed to; Teysa had wordlessly withdraw, and the next night a new hammock appeared in the cave. Aliara tried hard not to think about what that might mean. She told herself that with time it would become easier.

Teysa could no longer visit the broodmothers-- none of them could bear the presence of a drider without agitation-- but she asked after them with genuine concern in her voice. Aliara had taken over that responsibility, as well as martial training for the remaining drow. No more of them had fled, but the first time Lil'esh had been introduced to the new Teysa, the discomfort in her voice had been clear. None of them quite knew what to make of their erstwhile mentor. By now, news of Teysa's transformation had surely reached the City. What would Mish'li say? What about the Quorum?

Teysa spent much of her free time with El'keth, who seemed overjoyed by her transformation. She treated Teysa like a big sister and insisted on introducing her formally to all of the various driders in the warren. Before, they had seemed like interchangeable clones to Teysa, with the exception of the gregarious El'keth and her imposing mother. Now, though, a universe of tiny differences opened themselves up to her. Jy'ven was slow and docile but not stupid; she was merely a deep and patient thinker. Yi'resh was young and impetuous. Vor'hinn was old and bitter, having backed down twice in her life from leadership challenges-- she knew she would never be more than she was, and the knowledge twisted her and left her resentful. Her rage had long since burnt out, leaving a kind of sullen acceptance. She was prone to caustic sniping at those she considered foolish.

In truth, El'keth's attention-- as cloying as it could be-- was a welcome distraction. She taught Teysa all sorts of things that the new drider hadn't even considered: how to navigate the warren, the intricacies of address and protocol, and how to see her to her biological needs. Spinning silk, for one. Teysa came to her one day complaining of a heavy feeling in her lower abdomen.

"You haven't spun yet, have you?" El'keth asked. "You should do it a little each day, just to clear out the old silk so it doesn't get tangled." She reached around behind Teysa and grabbed her somewhere that felt shockingly intimate. Teysa's gasp of surprise made her laugh.

"Those are just spinnerets, Teysa. They're not dirty. You can wiggle them, you see?" She moved her hand, and Teysa felt something in her body flexing. It was odd: she realized that there were muscles there, she could feel them clearly now, but there was no analogue to draw on from her memories of humanity. This was something new, something alien, and to her shock (and secret shame) she found she liked it.

That was difficult to talk about. Her conversations with Aliara always danced around the edges of her "condition," as they'd taken to calling it. Aliara spoke loftily of finding a way "to turn you back," and Teysa had allowed herself to seem enthusiastic about this prospect. Whenever she focused on what she was doing, she was clumsy and awkward, unused to maneuvering on eight limbs, unused to her increased height. When she was distracted, however, her body seemed to take over, and there was something intoxicating about letting go like that. She was stronger than she'd been, and faster too; her senses were sharp, she could see in the dark and hear scuttling several caves away. Perhaps it was just a way for her mind to compensate for the shock, she told herself. She did miss her old body. But if she was doomed to stay in this one, she might as well learn to use it.

El'keth showed her how to coax out the leading end of a silk strand, how to spin it out into a thread as strong as steel, how to cut it and paste it in place. She spun out a string from her own abdomen and fed it into her complex loom. "See? I can spin directly if I want," she said. Her legs worked the treadles and she played out the silk steadily from her spinnerets. "I can teach you to weave if you want!"

"Maybe later," Teysa replied. Perhaps she wasn't entirely adjusted after all. The thought of wearing something that had only recently been part of her body made her queasy. In fact, the whole thought of the silk strands spinning out of her body left her vaguely uneasy, as though she had swallowed a delicate jar full of poison. El'keth had made her some new clothes, shirts tailored for her broader shoulders, and Teysa didn't dare ask if the silk for those had been "fresh."

"Have you spoken to my mother lately?" El'keth asked. Her tone was light, but Teysa felt her blood turn to ice water all the same. She had been avoiding the Matron. It wasn't that she blamed her, exactly, for her new shape. But the very sight of the massive drider stirred uncomfortable feelings in the lightless caverns of Teysa's subconscious. Fear warred with submission. The body, as it turned out, did a lot of its own thinking, and in the Matron's presence Teysa's body had a tendency to bend at the knee.

"I've-- been busy, El'keth," Teysa said carefully. There was a hint there, but El'keth was often impervious to subtle conversational stratagems.

"She's asked after you," El'keth went on blithely. "I think she wants to assign you a task. Everyone has one, you know. That's why the warren works. We all contribute. I'm sure it'll be something you're good at! Perhaps you can teach us to fight? She says we must defend ourselves. She sent a messenger to the City, you know, but hasn't heard anything back. Do you think they'll attack us again? That was so frightening! Next time I'll help defend the warren. I should learn to fight, don't you think?"

Teysa let the wall of words wash over her. El'keth was covering her fear with bravado, she could tell, but she was still musing on the first thing El'keth had said. We all contribute. She wants to assign you a task.

Was that Teysa's life now? Was she just another sheep in the Matron's flock? Another ticking gear in the machinery of the warren? She hadn't been that before. She had been her own woman. Aliara, too. They had stood apart from the driders, not quite guests and not quite champions. Was that over now, too? She hadn't asked to join the warren. She'd merely wanted to live.

Behind her, El'keth was still talking. "What do you think of that male drow? He's weird, isn't he? He's showing Jez'ria where to dig for precious stones. Do you think they'll find any? I would love sapphires for my necklace. Kel'hya works silver, she's ever so good! Have you met her?"

Part of the babble broke through Teysa's contemplation and she raised a hand. "Male drow? What? What are you talking about?"

El'keth wrinkled her face in confusion. "Don't you remember? You took him prisoner during the battle. Rak'kec, or something."

Teysa tried to recall. The battle had been so confusing, but she thought...

"I did!" she exclaimed. "He's still here? What happened? Nobody told me..."

"I think Aliara spoke to him," El'keth said. "Anyways, he's a miner, apparently. My mother questioned him. He was so afraid! He says that if he goes back to the city, that evil drow who attacked us will kill him, so she said he could stay here if he helped out. The other drow don't seem to like him much. I wonder why?"

Teysa wasn't listening. Aliara talked to him? And she didn't tell me? Why? She supposed there had been a lot on her mind lately, but the interrogation of a prisoner was important. She was very aware that the world didn't stop moving just because she was going through a personal crisis. As soon as was polite, she said her goodbyes to El'keth and made her way back to the room.

Aliara wasn't there, so Teysa busied herself in practicing spinning. El'keth made it look easy, but playing out strands of web strong enough to be usable was surprisingly tricky work. All too often her own efforts fell apart like soggy paper. She shivered in involuntary disgust. She knew she had to do this, but that didn't make it any easier. She kept resisting the urge to wipe her hands on the cave walls, though she knew the silk was clean. It was just... unnatural. The whole act just reinforced the unnatural feeling of her new body. Before she could grow too frustrated, she gave it up and sat down to meditate.

Soon enough, Aliara's footsteps reached her ears. Teysa could always tell when she was coming, these days; Aliara's footfalls were as unique as her fingerprints, though Teysa would have been at a loss to say exactly how. It was just her, that was all. The half-elf appeared around the corner and stopped moving when she noticed Teysa's eyes on her.

"Oh!" she said, and then again, "oh! Sorry, Tey, you startled me. I'm still not used to..." she turned red and trailed off, looking away hurriedly. Teysa looked away as well. Mentioning her transformation was rapidly becoming taboo in this cave.

"How was your day?" Teysa asked, eager to change the subject.