the not so war party

Darrien was all smiles the next day despite barely sleeping the night before. He was as excited as a kid on Christmas morning as his father set up for the “party”. The party in question was simply a weekly backyard barbeque for the neighborhood. Something his mother had started years ago as a way to get to know their neighbors better. “We can’t have those monsters come to the party.” Mary hissed to her husband who nodded and sat raw steaks on the large grill. “What if they go crazy and start eating people?”

Her husband turned to her, “I should thaw more steaks.” and walked back into the house.

“Are you even listening to me, Harrold!” She growled.

“Why do you think I’m getting more steaks?!” He shouted back as he picked up more steaks from his deep freeze.

“This is serious!”

Harry sighed, “I know, but Wilson will bring something, his wife always makes too much potato salad, and Darryl said he was bringing pork rinds.”

“...I’m talking about the safety of our child, our neighbors, and all you can think about is food?”

“...It is a cookout.”

“You’re driving me crazy!” She snapped and stormed inside. Harry knew better than to tell her what he really thought, that she was being crazy and an Orc war party didn’t typically drive minivans so they were probably safe. No, she wouldn’t hear any of that. Mary had some old school beliefs that he knew came from fear, and the only way to fix them was for her to see for herself. It wasn’t until last year she got over her fear of flying after he and Darrien finally convinced her to take a trip to disney world.

“Dad!” Darrien shouted as he ran outside. “Did you hear? Sarla’s coming over!”

“I sure did, buddy!” He smiled, matching his son’s level of excitement.

“Do you think he’ll want to play football?”

“I don’t know, you should ask him.”

“You’re still playing, right?!”

“Of course, right after dinner, okay?”

Darrien bounced happily and ran back inside shouting, “I’m’ll get my ball!”

“I said after-” he sighed, “why do I bother?” he chuckled and poked at the steak.

Two hours later all human neighbors had arrived, and unfortunately for Darrien none of them were kids his age. They were all perfectly nice people, but…they were just so old! The few that had children were much older teens. Their parents would sometimes **** them to spend time with the lonely child and while others were better at hiding it, none of them enjoyed playing with him. They would either be on their phones or swimming in his pool. But today was different! Sarla and his parents had arrived, knocking on the back fence in lue of the front door, since no one was inside the house. “Hello?” Called a gruff and unfamiliar voice. Everyone stopped speaking when they turned to face the voice, a large green woman standing 6’7 towered over everyone and the fence she stood behind. “I was told we were invited?”

Darrien rushed to the fence, sliding to a stop in front of the giant of a woman, “Is Sarla coming?!” He cheered.

The green woman bent over the fence with a toothy smile, her tusks protruding from her bottom row of sharp teeth. “You must be Sarla’s new friend.”

“Darrien!” Sarla shouted, kicking the fence.

Harrold stepped away from the grill, smiling as he approached the creature. “Yes, hi! I’m Harrold Metchum, it’s great to meet you.” He reached up offering the large woman his hand.

The orc chuckled, “Uloth.” She smiled and shook his hand. “Thank you so much for inviting us. My mate will be here soon.”

“A pleasure, Uloth.” The woman’s hand completely enveloped his hand.

“Mom!” Sarla whined, trying once again to jump over the fence but only managing to peek his head over the fence.

Harrold laughed, “Why don’t you two come around front. The door’s open.”

“No need.” She bent down and picked Sarla up, placing the smaller green child on her shoulder. With a quick hop both mother and child were over the fence. Uloth wore a flowery tunic that came down to her knees, and a brown leather belt tied around her waist. Her waist was thicker than most of the men’s and unlike half of them it was solid. Uloth sat Sarla in front of Harrold and for the first time realized the little green boy was carrying a covered tupperware tray.

“Sarla!” Darrien cheered.

“Hey!” Sarla shouted back, handing the tray to Harrold so he could run off with Darrien.

“Sarla!” Uloth shouted, grabbing him by the collar, “What do you say?”

Sarla frowned but slapped his fist to his chest and bowed, “We humbly thank you for inviting us into your territory.”

“Better.” The mother said. Sarla immediately ran off with Darrien who teased him for his silly introduction.

“I guess kids are kids no matter what.” Uloth nodded, “Thank you for…I’m sorry what is this?” He asked curiously as he examined the strange creation in the tray.

“It is silsak. I was told it is customary to bring food when invited to human gatherings.”

“Much appreciated, but you didn’t have to go to any trouble.” Harrold swore he saw something moving inside of whatever strange meat was on the tray.

“It was no trouble at all.”

“Harrold? Oh my g-!” Mary had been inside with the other wives when she heard everything grow quiet followed by a large thud a minute later. When she came out she saw all of her guests staring at something and now she saw why. There was a huge orc in her yard baring its fangs at her husband!

“Mary,” He said, turning to her with a smile, “Come say hello to Uloth.”

“Um, h-hello Mr Uloth.”

Uloth’s friendly smile turned into a hard line, “I am the female of my species.”