chaste christian girl to horny hypersexual man - rewriting reality

"Hey Lacey! So glad you came!"

"Come on, bro, just call me Hartman. Everyone else does" I say, rolling my eyes at him.

I hate the name Lacey. It's so provocative. It sounds more like the name of a stripper or a pornstar than the name of a good christian girl like myself.

"Right, sorry. It's been so long since we've been able to game together. I just got Overcooked 2, we could play that if you want or maybe some Splatoon?" He says, inviting me in.

"Nah actually can we play some more RDO?"

"You're seriously addicted to that game, lol."

"What? It's a fun game!" I say, dropping my purse by the front door.

"I'm just surprised you haven't dressed up like a cowboy or Halloween yet."

"cowgirl" I correct him.

"Hmm I don't know, pretty sure your RDO character isn't a girl."

"Ugh, shut up man you know who crappy people are to gamer girls in MMOs."

"Suuure." He says, picking up some around his living room. "Sorry about the mess I had a visitor over a bit ago."

"Ew."

This gay bastard is always hooking up with complete strangers he's met online. I don't judge him for being gay, God made him that way after all, but he's always bragging about being a man whore. I've never gotten why anyone is into sex. The thought alone of me with another man makes me physically nauseous. I've never even touched myself down there. God wouldn't want that for me anyway. I'm not ever having sex before marriage and he shouldn't either. Of course semen is the sacred seed of life and should be preserved for reproductive purposes only, and any sexual act he participates in is a waste of future life, but at least under marriage his union with another man would be accepted and sanctified under the blessing of our lord.

Scott stops in his tracks and for a moment I worry if I hurt him. It's not the first time I've passive aggressively chided him for his wasteful degenerate behavior. Normally he just rolls his eyes and ignores it but today he just sighs and sits down on the couch he was in the middle of cleaning.

"What!?" I ask, defensively.

Is he mad at me? What right does he have to be mad at me? I didn't ask him to give me all the sordid details of his sex life. The look on his face makes me nervous though. It'd be better if he were just mad at me. I haven't been this worried about how he would react since that time he caught me looking at yaoi on my phone. It's just for the romance! He had no reason to judge me for that! He took one look at it and totally gave me the silent treatment for a whole 3 minutes! He isn't mad this time though. Instead he just looks tired. Fuck.

"Dude! What? I didn't say anything!" What the hell Scott?

"I didn't either Lacey!" He says, standing and throwing his arms in the air exasperated.

The use of my name feels particularly pointed and sharp for some reason. I'm honestly more hurt by that than him raising his voice at me.

"I just wasn't asking abut your sex life bro, so I don't know why you got to share that out of no where!"

"I literally just said I had a visitor what the fuck is wrong with you!?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you? You're _always _having sex with complete fucking strangers from grindr and shit. You should be saving your virginity after marriage like God intends!"

"Oh, shut the fuck up Lacey, I'm so tired of you acting holier than thou, as if you aren't always looking at gay porn on your phone."

I feel my face turn bright red with embarrassment.

"I told you bro! It's just for the romance!!!"

"What does that even mean Hartman???"

"It means, unlike you, I'm not a filthy godless constantly lustful degenerate Scott!"

"God. You know what? That's it. I'm so fucking done with this." He says, turning around and digging through one of the drawers near his entertainment stand. "I told myself I would never use this on an of my friends bu you need to be taught a fucking lesson."

At those words I start to slowly walk back towards the door. I can't help but shit bricks at the thought of what he might be pulling out of the drawer.