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Chapter 16 by fantaghiro

Is Don taking this calmly? Panicking? What does he want to do?

calmly

“I remember… everything,” Don said suddenly. His voice was low, careful. The words came with that faint, uneven rhythm of someone who had learned English long ago but now thought in Chinese first.

Mike lowered the magazine. “Everything?”

"But I remember it all as Xue Li ... as if I really her, not Don. “Last days in China… every hour, every touch, every word she say. The smell of her — my — hair after shower. Cigarette smoke in kitchen. The feel of cheap silk on skin. The way people look at me in street.”

Don hesitated, jaw tightening. “I remember you. How you hold me when we walk, how I smile at you — not as Don. As her.”

Mike turned fully toward him. “And how did she feel about me?”

Don’s eyes flicked to Mike’s and then away. “She… like you. Very much. She think you are strong. Kind. She believe you protect her. When I think of you now, I… not sure if it is me, or her, feeling this.”

“It’s you,” Mike said, too quickly.

Don shook his head slowly. “No. I smile like her. I look away like her. Sometimes, when I see you… I do not see my friend. I see her husband.”

The drink cart rattled past, and Don politely shook his head at the attendant. He sat with his hands folded in his lap, fingers resting just so, knees drawn together — a posture that was not his own.

He told himself he could keep being Don until they landed in America. But somewhere over the Pacific, feeling the ghost of silk against his skin and the echo of her voice in his head, he realized he wasn’t holding on to himself at all.

What's next?

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