Your RA and Her Boss

As I opened my door, my mind went through all the possibilities of what sort of roommate I'm about to find. Based off the conversations I've had with the rest of the floor, I'm struggling to be overly optimistic. Seems like everyone has at least some problem with their roommate. Some stay up late, some get up too early. Some are so studious you cannot make a noise without disturbing them, and others don’t appear to understand the concept of headphones. And everything in between. It just seems to be a matter of how much you can live with those problems, and hopefully get along well enough to get to the end of the year.

I was more than a little surprised to see not a new roommate in my room, but instead the Hall Director and the floor’s Resident Advisor, surrounded by a rather significant amount of luggage. The Hall Director, Martina, is a gorgeous raven haired, blue eyed woman, in her late twenties. The gossip on the floor has been trying to determine what her ancestry is, with no concrete solutions yet. There was even a pool going on her heritage. My money was on that she is Italian, a theory which seemed to gain a little credibility when I noticed that she appears to have thrown the condoms I had left on my desk into the trash. It did seem odd thought that she seemed less inclined to promote safe sex than what I'd heard from kids in other halls. The Resident Advisor, on the other hand, leaves no doubt. If her riotous red hair and bright green eyes weren’t enough of a clue, name Fianna certainly cements her Celtic heritage. I must admit, I had been originally surprised that a girl with that lineage had been put into a position of power, until I found out that it was common for Celtic students to get jobs, if they view their bosses as their masters. Obeying the Hall Director’s orders helps them cope with their submissive tendencies. Upon graduation it is practice for the boss to pass ownership off onto their next master.

Neither woman has noticed my entrance, as they are in the process of unpacking what I assume is my new roommate’s books. So, I cleared my through softly, startling both of them to a rather amusing degree.

“Oh! John, you’re here! Good, we were hoping to speak to you before we had to leave.” Martina said. “Your new roommate got into the country all right. They just went down to grab the last of their bags.”

“Wait…what?” I sputtered. “There’s more coming? It looks like they already have at least twice the stuff I do.”

“Well, of course she does, John.” Martina sighs. I am pretty sure I caught Fianna rolling her eyes at me, before quickly returning her gaze to floor at her boss and master’s disapproving glare. “Your family lives about an hour away; her home is more than a little farther away than that.”

“She? Her? What are you talking about? Are you implying my new roommate is a woman?”

This seems to startle Martina. “Are you saying you don’t know who your new roommate is? My bosses assured me that they had cleared it with you explicitly.”

“Ma’am, I don’t even know my new roommate’s name, or, apparently, their gender.”

At that point, there was a knock on the door frame behind me. “Well, no time like the present. I guess I’m going to have to ask you to please keep an open mind. If we have to, we can relocate one of you, but I should warn you, the Housing Department will probably find it much easier to move you, and I cannot guarantee which hall they would send you to. John, I’d like to introduce you to your new roommate.” At that, I turned around to see…