Your Image

It sucks! Bwahahahah!

But don’t worry, we are not talking about your lack of social skills and inherent inability to get laid. This is about what thing you should plaster on the cover to get people horny.

Horny readers are good. You want horny readers.

No picture means no horny.

So yes, putting something there is mandatory, you lazy shit.

No, you can’t put it off for later and just publish now. Tattoo it on your face if you must; your story NEEDS a cover image.

But what image to choose to convey the deep, thoughtful themes represented in your artistic vision? How can you set the stage just right so that the readers are in the perfect mood to enjoy your creation?

A hot chick.

Preferably naked.

No, seriously you don’t have to worry too much about how much the cover fits your story. Don’t try to be artsy either. 8 out of 10 of the current top ten stories have a hot chick on them. Readers here are thirsty, it’s not that complicated.

And yes you miserable cock gobbler I already hear you screaming “But what if my story is about some gay dudes!”

In that case put a hot dude there, or a femboy, or a sissy. Hot is the keyword here.

As for specifics, something anime is usually a pretty safe bet, it’s colorful and eye catching which is perfect for getting attention. Even if somebody doesn’t like anime, their measly monkey brains like shiny things so they will be **** to look at it and then you can catch them with a good title and tagline.

If you aren’t a filthy weeb, putting some IRL stuff on there works too. Try to not get too disgusting though. The readers here are, well, readers, if they wanted to see some gaping cunt they go over to pornhub. Sexy is the key word here.

One cheeky way you can go about it, is to switch your cover out to trick dumber readers into thinking it’s a new story. Yes, that actually works! It’s a bit **** though. And you really only should do it as a last resort.