You whip it out

{if Failed_to_impress=True}This is your chance!{endif}

Feeling super confident, with your dick at half-mast, you decide to just show it off to the girls!

Before Riley can stop you, you pull down your pants in a quick motion, and stand there proudly, stroking it slowly.

"Pretty big, huh?" you say, holding your {Cock_inches} inch dick.

Your wife's friends burst out laughing.

"John, what the fuck?!" your wife screams and practically runs to you.

"Yeah, John, we were just messing around," Chloe adds as Riley pulls your pants back up.

"Uh, I- it's just a joke, yeah!" you try.

"What, you think this is some sort of porn scene?" Riley asks. "I've never been so ashamed!"

"I---" you start.

"Sorry, girls, I think John and I have to have a serious conversation. You go on without me, and I guess I'll see you next year?"

{if Knows_xyzzy=False}

After Riley has seen her friends off, she bursts into tears.

"I can't believe you've embarrassed me so!" she says.

"I'm sorry, I totally misread the situation," you try.

"Misread it on the couch," she says, and walks upstairs.

You stand alone, in the living room. The party is over.

The End.

{else}

"WAIT!" you say, **** to save the situation. I..."

You are scrambling your fighter jets, firing up the thrusters, trying to come up with something, anything, to get you out of this awful ordeal. What were you thinking?! You wish you had a saved game state to load, like in that old DOS game you played earlier... or a cheat code. Hah! Like that would work...

Yet... what if it worked?

You didn't know what it would do. Sometimes they punished the player, if the developer didn't like cheating in games. But this was an older game, from way back. Then, cheat codes were usually used by developers to debug the game.

The women look at you, waiting for you to say something. Time passes. You have to say something.

Fuck it.

Here goes!

{endif}