You remember the camp

You remember the interviews for this.

Camp Crystal Lake doesn’t even exist anymore, officially. It got shut down in the eighties when some bad stuff happened there, but it’s on this property—the FUTA property. When they thought up this dumbass scheme for winners to go to the Lodge and losers to go somewhere else, you remember the interviews.

Annette wanted competent counselors, but also totally horny ones.

Kate passed that test with flying colors. She isn’t exactly the classic cheerleader type, but she’s close enough. She’s pretty, she has a nice figure, and she always has perfect hair. You only started to notice her after the thing with Riley.

What you didn’t know when you were interviewing her was that you were interviewing her for the best job on the face of the fucking earth.

She gets to earn a full-time salary and get full-time benefits, but she only works on weekends. You also had strict instructions to favor candidates with penises, which meant you spent half the interview checking for bulges. And her job doesn’t even involve much real work beyond cooking. That’s all they do at Camp Crystal Lake. They don’t clean the cabins or anything because it’s supposed to be shitty. All they do is cook for the players and make sure they don’t drown in the lake. Lifeguarding is the only thing that matters down there.

Kate is getting paid probably the same as you to watch girls swim two days a week.

You don’t know her, but just because of that, you hate her.

But OK. You will do your job. You go into Annette’s office and get the package. Looks like you’re working late tonight.