You chicken out

You decide not to try it. You cannot think of a way that your life could be worse. But you are not in the danger of ****, and perhaps there will be a government reform one day. I mean... This shit system couldn't stay in place forever... Right?

After you get back to the hideout, you have to suck Master's cock. You spend rest of the day watching TV. You have to orally pleasure him a couple more times as the shows go on. But nothing wild.

At the end of the day you are locked back in your cell, thinking about how everything you did in your life led to this precise moment. But it is difficult to grab one specific event from all, and say "This was the wrong thing!". It is the system that was turned against you.