You can’t choose.

“I can’t just pick someone. It doesn’t work like that.”

She smiles, “Sure it does. You’ve just never tried. Now pick someone.”

“What. No. That’s insane. It isn’t that simple. What about love? You’re crazy. I’m not picking someone. That’s crazy. We don’t even know if they would want to have sex with me.”

“You’re being silly. Anyone with half a brain would want to fuck you. You are cute as can be. You know that, right?”

“What? No. That’s crazy.”

“Oh my god. Tell me you’re not serious. Wait? Really? How do you not know that you are just a fuck magnet? Oh my god. I figured you hadn’t been fucked yet because of some stupid religious belief. Oh this is nuts. You have no idea do you? Here I am playing games with you and you actually have no clue.”

“Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I’m clueless. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person.” You arrive back at the apartment and pull into the garage.

She wrinkles her mouth, “Okay. I’ll play along. What does the right person look like?”

“I don’t know. I’ll know when I meet them.”

“Okay. So in your theory, there is a magical person out there that the instant you meet you will both instantly fall in love and have sex and be in love forever. Okay. So that means everyone you have met isn’t them so they are all off the table. Never having sex with any of them. Period.” She shakes her head slowly, “That’s really to bad. I mean I for one am really good in bed. Then there’s Marcy, she is really cute, in great shape, her pussy is probably amazing. I bet it even tastes like strawberries. I bet it tastes like a fine summer day at the beach. Oh, and mustn’t forget everyone fucking else. Are you stupid?”

“No. I don’t know. Maybe. I’m just shy. Not everyone can just go talk to people. I don’t want to be shy. I just…”

“Shhh. I’m sorry. I’m a bitch. I know. It’s just. You know. You are just the cutest little thing ever. It’s hard for someone like me to get it through my thick head that someone as pretty as you wouldn’t be outgoing and confident. That’s all. But look at you. You are sitting in a BMW with me, and I’m a **** of nature, believe me, with fantastic pizza, and a group of people inside waiting for you to return, and yesterday you didn’t even know any of us. That’s pretty impressive. Plus you now know there are at least three people in very close proximity that desperately want to have sex with you. That’s good, right?”

“How do you just know that?”

“Well, I mean I want to simply ruin you. It is obvious by your description that Candi wants to do the same, and Marcy, well, she is probably in for a bit of a surprise, but let’s see. She met you, came over with a present, and agreed to play D&D with us weirdo’s, just to be with you. I’d say she’s the most obvious.” She opens the door and climbs out. “But hey, we are back, we are going to go kill a bunch of orcs, eat pizza, and have fun. We can talk about this another time.” She grabs the pizza and heads out.

So. Ask her a question.

Call out your choice.

Just go play D&D.