You Should Keep Her

Morning traffic pressed in around the car, engines humming, sunlight flashing off windshields. Zara sat tucked into the passenger seat, cardigan bright against the neutral interior, glasses slipping down her nose as she talked with her hands.

Two permanent girlfriends.

The phrase thudded around Roy's skull like a loose bolt in an engine.

Michelle hadn't disappeared. Just like Elaine, she'd stayed. The wish had twisted and shifted and rewritten, but it hadn't taken them away. It had added.

Michelle.

Warmth spread through his chest at the thought of her. Nineteen and bright and stubborn in that soft way of hers. Being with her felt uncomplicated, even when everything else wasn't. She laughed easily. She looked at him like he mattered. Like he was steady. Solid. Safe.

Guilt pricked at the edges of that warmth. Keeping her in his life, letting her stay, was selfish. A forty-year-old man with a nineteen-year-old girlfriend was already complicated enough. Two girlfriends made it worse.

And yet.

The idea of Michelle not being there left a hollow ache. Waking up without her tangled in his sheets. Not hearing her humming off-key in the kitchen. The thought alone tightened his throat.

Living together crossed his mind now. He'd lived alone his entire adult life, and now he had a beautiful young woman sharing space with him. A toothbrush had quietly appeared beside his. New clothes hanging in his closet. The shift felt natural.

Natural didn't mean simple.

Elaine hovered at the edge of those thoughts. Steady, intelligent, older than both he and Michelle. Real feelings lived there. Depth. Affection. She deserved attention, not to be sidelined because his life had spun into something surreal. How was he going to balance this?

And now, on top of all of that, Zara.

A glance sideways took her in: short, curvy, compact energy wrapped in violet knit. NASA pin catching the light. Black pixie cut slightly mussed from the breeze when she'd climbed in. She was still talking, words spilling over one another in a cheerful avalanche.

Overwhelming.

Adorable.

Roy could feel his defenses being chipped away one enthusiastic sentence at a time.

Compared to Agnes, the cold shift, the revulsion, the wrongness, Zara felt like relief. Like stepping out of a horror film into a rom-com without warning. The wish had done one decent thing: it had taken Agnes out of his life. He was choosing to ignore, though, the fact that it had put Agnes in his life in the first place.

"So?"

Her voice sliced through his spiralling thoughts.

"So?" he echoed, blinking.

"Dinner tonight? You didn't answer me."

"Oh. Yeah." Mind scrambled to catch up. "That'll probably work, but I should check in..."

"With Michelle," she interrupted smoothly.

"With Michelle."

"And Elaine."

"And Elaine."

"Excellent!" She beamed, triumphant. "I'll text you at lunch and make sure you did. I know how forgetful you can be, silly!"

A small hand reached across the console and squeezed his. Warm. Firm. Entirely certain of her place there. Certainty radiated off her. No jealousy. No tension. Just enthusiasm.

Strange world.

"Where should I drop you?" he asked.

"Just take your parking spot. I can walk from there. It's only a couple minutes."

"My parking spot?"

"Obviously." She grinned. "Efficiency, Roy. You know how I love efficiency."

The office lot loomed ahead, mostly full. His reserved space sat open. It had taken him a long time to get a parking space this close to the door, a lot of years committed to the company that he would soon be **** to quit. Even with the elation he felt for Michelle, the thought of losing his job because of Tom still formed a bitter knot in his stomach.

The engine cut. For a moment, neither moved. Then Zara burst into motion. Door open. Tote over her shoulder. She hurried around the front of the car.

Roy stepped out more slowly, keys still in hand.

She was already there, standing in front of him, eyes bright behind her glasses. No warning. She rose onto her toes and kissed him. Not a quick peck. A real kiss. Full mouth. Intent. Her hands gripping the front of his shirt.

Instinct answered before thought did. Arms came up. He kissed her back.

This was becoming routine. Kissing women he'd technically just met. Accepting affection that arrived fully formed. Letting his body fall into patterns his mind hadn't built.

Life had become very strange.

Eventually she pulled away.

Happiness glowed off her skin. It wasn't subtle. It was incandescent.

"I can't believe how much I love you," she said softly, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest. Arms wrapped around his trunk, holding him like he might disappear. "Thank you for letting me into your world."

Words caught in his throat.

"You're welcome," he managed, awkward and earnest all at once.

She squeezed once more, then peeled away, already turning toward the sidewalk.

"Text me!" she called over her shoulder.

"I will," he answered, not thinking that he didn't have her number.

She didn't look back. She didn't need to.

Footsteps approached from the lot entrance. Angie, twenty-one, perpetually caffeinated intern, fell into step beside him, backpack slung over one shoulder.

"Hey, Roy."

"Morning."

Her gaze flicked toward Zara’s retreating figure. "Who was that? The girlfriend?"

"I... uh... I mean... yeah..."

"Sorry," she corrected herself, rolling her eyes at her own phrasing. "I mean one of the girlfriends? She's cute. What's her name?"

"Zara."

"Zara," Angie repeated thoughtfully. "Cool name. I had a Zara in my econ class last semester. I like her vibe." Then, with a playful elbow to the ribs, "You should keep her."

Keep her. As though any of this were up to him.

As though he had any choice in any of this at all.