You're unable to cross

Your thoughts weigh heavily... They have a long-term impact, and this is the truth. They shape the future of your ex-girlfriend, Chantal. You glance at her once more, wrestling with thoughts divided into two distinct phases. After an hour of deep contemplation, you are hesitant to pull Chantal into the mire. She left you over trivial matters. She refuses to reconnect, leaving a chasm between you both.

Despite the fleeting moments of joy you both once shared, you can never forget her. And now, she's back in your life. However, she is not the same person you once knew.

Chantal... She used to be shy, gentle, a lover of horse riding, and a music enthusiast. You still remember everything about her, as if time has stood still, as if it were only yesterday.

And now...

Chantal is no longer the girl you once knew or fell for.

She is not the same girl who left you over differing tastes. The one who walked away, no matter how much you pleaded for her to stay.

Now, there's a new Chantal, a different person, sitting next to you. She gazes at you, eyes filled with hope and expectation, pleading for your decision, her eyes welling up with tears. You feel a heavy burden from that gaze as you ponder your decision.

"I....I...don't know what to say, Bianca. What can I say? I need to ask again... Why do you want to be Chantal? Is it because she's rich? Or because she has a loving family? Or are there personal reasons you haven't shared with me yet?" You pose the question, hoping her response will guide your judgement.

All she does is gently touch your cheek, tracing a finger along the line of your chin, looking at you with a calm yet mournful expression you've never seen on Chantal before.

“I've repeatedly expressed my love for you, Darling. Every time I've tried to convey it, whether overtly or subtly, I've done it all. Even to the point of proving it to you.” She points towards Bianca, who is taking a glass of water from the table to give to Kaya for washing.

"She is the real me. Not beholden to anyone's commands, neither yours nor mine. She is free from both of us. And she can stand in for me without adhering to any demands,” she says, wiping away her fresh tears.

“But she has chosen to heed my commands, to obey me, and to heed you, ready to support you no matter what. Because she is me, she's not controlled, and even if she's not controlled, she chose to assist us. She decided to shield you from troubles, now and in the future. This is the real me, Lasse. Not your ****, but someone who chooses to help you out of love, just like me.” She leans into you, and you draw back slightly with a tremulous expression.

"I love you wholeheartedly, Lasse. I chose to be Chantal for you. I wish to be Chantal, to be at your side and to assist you with everything I have that she doesn't..."

Slowly, she inches towards you. You retreat until you hit the end of the sofa, where she then straddles you.

"This is my answer. Even if love doesn't demand reciprocation, I will still love you. No matter who you are or what form you take, I love you, darling," she murmurs, her hair lightly brushing against your face.

"But we...we have only known each other for a short time...I might not be good enough...for you. I worry about that," you confess, sighing. But she places her index finger on your lips to silence you.

"Hush...my dear...from now on, I'll get to know you better...every inch of you, now and forever. We have plenty of time, darling. Enough time to get to know each other," she whispers before she gently starts to kiss you.

You are confused and scared, caught in the tension between your moral code and your desires.

You, who can't leave your past behind...choose to close your eyes.

You pull Chantal closer, letting her straddle you, sinking into the kiss like never before.

"Oh, Bianca..." You whisper her name into her ear.

"Hush...not anymore... I am Chantal now, my dearest. I'm yours. My body and my heart are for you, your lover," she whispers back before kissing you again. You can feel her breath, her tongue, and her lips as her hair winds through your fingers.

She pushes you until you're on the brink of forgetting to breathe. You can feel her tongue and her breath in the kiss. It's a kiss that morphs from tender to passionate. It's as if you've been yearning for it for a long time, before she lightly bites your lips, tugs at it, and then releases you, a smile playing on her lips.

"Darling," she says to you. You can smell her breath and hear the sound of both your hearts beating. The rhythm is all around you, from both of you and within Chantal.

"Now, who am I in your eyes?" She smiles. It's Bianca's smile, but it's on Chantal's face. You love it...even knowing that the real Chantal would never smile like that.

It doesn't take you long to respond.

"Bianca...you....you are my Chantal....my Chantal....Mine...forever." You caress her face. You press the tip of your thumb to the corner of her smile, on her cheek. Her smile widens at your answer, before you pull her into your embrace as if you never want to let her go. Tears roll down your cheeks, spilling from the corners of your eyes. They aren't just tears of joy, but also tears of farewell. Farewell to the Chantal you once knew, the one who left you and will never return.