You're my best friend

Nick decided that maybe they needed to do a press release about Gina’s new addiction. Considering every single woman in his harem wanted to know what was going on when they came down to breakfast. By the time he finished explaining the situation to Kim and Dakota, much to Kim’s shock and Dakota’s amusement, he realized that everybody already knew.

Needless to say, he was a little exhausted. And breakfast wasn’t even over yet!

Not to mention that his wedding was tomorrow.

“So Gina is, like, actually addicted to your semen now?” Dakota really shouldn’t be grinning as widely as she was, but she couldn’t help herself. It was just amusing, even if she did care about Gina. “Wow, that’s crazy…”

“Gina…” Kim approached the punk girl with a sympathetic look on her face. “I’m sorry you’re going through that. I know what it’s like to be compelled by a transformation.”

“Nah, forget it,” Gina scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s cool. I just need a little bit of self-control, that’s all.”

“Well… okay then…” As someone who had lived a very austere life up until this point and was just starting to learn about giving into her desires more often, Kim wasn’t sure if someone like Gina, who was facing the opposite situation, could really handle it.

If not for her own transformations, Kim might have given into the compulsion to be lax herself, and she had a lifetime of self-discipline to fall back on; Gina had lived a life of hedonistic debauchery.

Needless to say, the punk girl might be in for some rough going.

…But that wasn’t any of her business.

“Can we talk about something else, please?” Nick pleaded, looking at the others. He saved a particularly scathing glare for Sylvia. “This situation… it’s not the best, but we have other things that are important, you know! Like the wedding tomorrow!”

“Ah, yes, about that…” Sylvia tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Mary, would you mind if we did some more planning today? I wanted to talk to you about the guest list…”

Nick tensed. Guests? They were going to invite guests to this thing?

That sounded like a horrendous idea.

“Would you like to invite any family?” Sylvia asked. “Friends, perhaps?”

Mary opened her mouth, but her embarrassed blush spoke for her. It would be lovely to have her family here, but…

“Oh, and I guarantee, there will be a perception filter in place,” Sylvia assured her. “You won’t have to worry about them finding your situation weird or anything like that!”

Well that… made it better? She supposed?

But still…

“No, I… I want my family to be at my wedding, but…”

The thought of them seeing her in this state was a frightening one.

Mary shook her head. “No… no guests, please. I was thinking…” She glanced at Nick. “When we go back home… we could have another ceremony. An official, legal one.”

Nick’s heart skipped a beat. He would be marrying Mary twice? That was a tantalizing thought. He nodded without even thinking about it.

“I see, that’s certainly an idea,” Sylvia mused. She turned to Nick. “What about you, my boy? Is there any family you’d like to invite?”

Nick gulped. Amelia’s face immediately popped into his mind, but just like Mary, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to bring his stern disciplinarian step-mother to a hellhole like this. She was an instructor at a finishing school for noble ladies, for God’s sake!

He was terrified of what her reaction would be. So he quickly shook his head.

“No, not… no thanks. There’s nobody.”

Sylvia didn’t seem pleased by that response.

“Are you sure? You wouldn’t even want to invite your mother?”

Dakota blinked. “Oh, now that would be something.”

Gina’s eyes widened. “Wait, Nick’s mom? You mean…”

“What about his mom?” Rose asked, curious.

“She’s really strict,” Gina said, shaking her head. “Who makes kids do homework at a summer camp!? She’s a nutjob!”

“Hey!” Nick exclaimed indignantly.

Gina frowned. “Well… she IS…”

“Gotta agree with Gina on this one,” Dakota nodded. “I know you love your mom, Nick, but even I have bad memories about her.”

And unlike Gina, Dakota’s memories weren’t restricted to her time in summer camp. No, with the implanted memories of being his childhood friend her whole life, Dakota had grown up right next door to Nick and his family all that time.

Dakota wasn’t afraid of her or anything. She’d died once already, it was hard to be afraid of much after that. But she knew that she didn’t want that woman anywhere near her. Not until her relationship with Nick was on much more stable footing.

I don’t think she’d like me much, Dakota thought bitterly, comparing the person she used to be to the person she was now.

Sylvia seemed even more disappointed. And only Marley could guess why.

“So you really don’t want your mom at your own wedding, huh?” Sylvia said quietly. “Okay. Yeah, I understand.”

Well, fuck. Now Nick actually felt bad.

Wait, what are you doing?! You aren’t actually feeling sympathetic for Sylvia of all things?! And yet, he was.

Would wonders never cease?

“I think we should move onto something else,” Kim said quickly. She wasn’t thrilled with this conversation topic herself, personally.

“Oui, I agree…” Rose murmured. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, but she **** them down. “This topic is… unnecessary, yes?”

“Well, are there any other things we should discuss with Nick present?” Sylvia asked, turning to the girls. “Or shall we get to the wedding planning, then?”

“Hey, why am I just casually being dismissed from the planning committee?” Nick demanded. “Don’t I get a say in what’s going on at my own wedding?”

“No,” Sylvia bluntly replied.

“We’re picking out wedding dress patterns,” Dawn pointed out, adjusting her glasses. “Isn’t the old saying that it’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding?”

“She’s not wrong on that front,” Carly agreed. “I’m not planning on getting married, and even I know that.” She winked at Nick. “Don’t worry, buddy boy. I’ll be sure to pick out something that will get you nice and hot for your wedding night.”

Mary’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Carly?!” She sputtered in disbelief. “Are you crazy?! Don’t tell him that!”

Carly blinked innocently. “Are you saying that’s not what you want? Because yesterday-”

“YAYAYAYAYA!” Mary flailed about, nearly tackling Carly to get her to shut up. She crammed her hands over the other woman’s mouth, suppressing Carly’s gleeful cackling.

“Sis!” Marley sighed, rubbing her forehead. Her sister really knew how to give people a headache, that was for sure. “Let’s not taunt Mary, please…”

She turned to Nick. “The dress is going to be fine. Don’t worry. Look forward to it. Much better than the bridesmaid dresses…”

Nick didn’t even want to know.

“It should be a really hot dress,” Morgana thought, staring off distantly. She licked her lips in contemplation as she fantasized about what would be going down on Nick and Mary’s wedding night. It was certainly going to be steamy, that was for sure.

“Wait, I have something to say!”

Everyone turned to Dani. In all the talk about Gina’s addiction and the wedding, most people had forgotten she was even there.

“What is it?” Nick asked, looking at her curiously. He didn’t think that she, of all people, would care anything about the wedding. But she had a gleam in her eye that said otherwise.

“There’s something that we NEED Nick’s commentary on,” she pointed out, staring adamantly at him. “Nick, who’s your best man going to be?”

Nick blinked. In all the chaos, he hadn’t given it any thought.

“Gee, I uh, I didn’t even think about it,” he admitted. “I mean, I’m the only guy here, so…”

“You could always have a woman as your best man,” Kim pointed out. “Or best woman, as the case would be. It’s 2023, after all.”

“I think what Dani’s trying to say is that she wants it to be her,” Carly said, smiling. She had a good sense of her friend’s perspective. “For the record, I’d be happy to do it myself, but if Dani wants to be best woman…” Her voice trailed off, and she looked pointedly at the other girl.

“Yeah, uh… something like that,” Dani said, blushing.

“Well, I’m fine with it,” Gina said, leaning back in her seat. “I know Nick and I have been friends for years, but being a best man sounds like a shitton of work.”

“Excuse me, I think we’re forgetting about someone here.”

Everyone turned to Dakota, who had a very cold expression on her face. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Nick and I have been best friends since the day we were born,” she pointed out. “Are you seriously saying that you’re a better fit to be his best man than me?”

Dani flinched. She knew that Dakota would be an obstacle in this, but she didn’t expect her to come out so forcefully. With that in mind…

She swallowed. The only reason she wanted to be Nick’s best man was because she wanted to support him on his wedding the only way she knew how. And this was the way she’d thought to do it. But it wasn’t like she was particularly passionate about it.

If Dakota wanted it, then maybe she should let her have this one…

“Excuse me, don’t I get a say in this?” Nick asked.

Dakota turned and stared at him incredulously. “What?” She didn’t even sound upset; it seemed like she was genuinely shocked that Nick would consider anyone other than her for the position of best man (or woman, in this case). So shocked she forgot to be angry.

“Hey! Look, I’m not saying it won’t be you!” Nick said, holding his hands up defensively. “It’s just… well… Dani…”

He glanced at Dani, who gave him a shaky look back. Then he turned to Dakota.

“Dakota… you’re my best friend. No one’s doubting that. I’m not saying you’re not. But that’s not really what this is about.”

“Then what’s it about?” She demanded.

“Dakota… I’m going to get married to you, remember?” He reminded her. “Not just yet, but I will. And the thing is… shouldn’t my best man be someone who I’m NOT going to be marrying? A friend? Someone with no romantic entanglements whatsoever?”

“Ah…” Dakota opened her mouth to reply, but her voice trailed off. She couldn’t really debate his point, the more she thought about it.

“That is reasonable,” Dawn agreed. “The position of ‘best woman’ does sound like something that shouldn’t be given to a lover, but a friend.”

Dakota scowled as pressure built against her. But even she couldn’t find a good argument against his position.

She sighed and lowered her head, nodding reluctantly.

“…Fine,” she spat. “I get it. You can be his best woman. That’s fine…”

Nick winced at the expression on her face. He didn’t want to hurt her. He really didn’t. He just thought that was the best choice.

What a mess he’d landed in. Already making Dakota mad, and they weren’t even married yet!

It was a grim portent of things to come.

“Um, Dakota…” Dani approached her fellow tomboy with a look of cautious optimism.

“What?” Dakota said, a little snappishly.

“I-I just wanted to say, thank you,” Dani said, not allowing herself to be intimidated by the other woman. “It means a lot that I can be Nick’s best man. Rose… she wasn’t wrong. I haven’t really felt connected to this whole wedding thing, but… I’m looking forward to it.”

She flashed a smile.

Even Dakota found it hard to resist that beaming grin.

She sighed.

“Just do a good job,” she muttered, looking down. She wasn’t used to being the loser in conflicts like this one. “That’s all I care about.”

“Great! A nice example of friendly bonding!” Sylvia said, clapping her hands together. “…Though if you ask me, I don’t see it as that big of a problem if Dakota was his best woman for the first wedding, at least.”

Nick glared at her. “Nobody asked you. Stop stirring the pot.”

Sylvia stuck out her tongue.

“Wait, that means she has to plan out his bachelor party, right?” Rose stated loudly. She didn’t even try to make it seem like this was just a coincidence. “That should be fun!”

“Ah!” Mary blanched. “Wait, but that means… sin! And debauchery!” Her eyes started to spin in her head.

“No it doesn’t!” Dani exclaimed. “I’m not going to do any sinful or debauched things!”

“Bummer,” Gina scoffed. “And here I was, actually looking forward to it!”

“…Who said you were invited?” Nick asked.

Gina’s mouth fell open and she held her hand over her chest, scandalized.

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” she said, shaking her head. They both knew he was joking, though.

“I want to come!” Carly chirped. “It should be a lot of fun!”

“Wait, but what about Mary’s bachelorette party?” Kim asked. “Shouldn’t we do something special for her, too?”

“Um… no male strippers, please,” Morgana requested. “That would be… distasteful.”

It would be a little awkward to invite male strippers to a bachelorette party for girls who were all in love with the same guy.

“That was never on the table to begin with,” Sylvia assured her.

Nick thanked the universe for small blessings. But that raised the point…

“Wait, does that mean there are going to be strippers at MY bachelor party!?” He exclaimed. Frankly, he wasn’t sure if he should be upset by that or not.

Sylvia shrugged. She fucking SHRUGGED.

“Not up to me. Ask the best woman.”

Nick turned to Dani. Dani pointedly turned away from him.

Well, that answered THAT question.

“Okay, only one problem though.” Dawn stepped up with a question on her face. “These are going to be happening at the same time, right?”

“Well, the wedding’s tomorrow, so it kind of has to be, yeah,” Dakota nodded.

“So… who’s going where?” She asked, looking from Mary to Nick. “How do we know who’s going to be at which party?”

That was certainly a question that everyone had to consider.

Dawn slid her glasses up her nose and looked sharply around the room. “And that’s why I think the best course of action… would be to make a time table.”

Everyone stared blankly at her. Kim actually groaned.

“What?” Dawn looked around, confused. “It’s a reasonable thing. We put the people who want to go to Mary’s bachelorette party into one category, and the people who want to go to Nick’s bachelor party in the other. Simple.”

She made a decent argument.

“I like the sound of that!” Sylvia chirped. “Nice and divisive!”

Nick shot her a dirty look. “Seriously?”

Sylvia shrugged. “Everything’s been so nice and peaceful, I want to shake things up a little bit! Cause some drama! Everybody having happy times isn’t good for ratings!”

She tapped her cane, and a screen appeared in midair with everyone’s names on it. Even Holly’s name was there. A T-chart blazed onto the screen, dividing it into two halves.

“Come up and move your name to whichever party you would like to be a part of!” Sylvia said, gesturing to the screen.

“Well, I’m obviously for Nick,” Dani said, walking over to the screen and sliding her name over to the “bachelor party” side.

“Can you move mine, too?” Gina called.

Dani glanced at her. “Do it yourself.”

Gina groaned and rolled her eyes. She trudged over to the screen and moved her name over.

“I’ll be for Nick, too,” Dakota said, adding her name as well.

Mary sighed in disappointment.

“Well, I’ll be at Mary’s bachelorette party,” Kim said, walking over and putting her name under Mary’s, smiling at her friend. Then she glanced apologetically at Nick. “Sorry, Nick.”

Nick shook his head. “No problem.”

“I’ll put Holly in there, too,” she added, sliding Holly’s name up as well. “After all, she’s Mary’s maid of honor!”

“The ‘honor’ part being debatable,” she added under her breath. “…Sorry. Dark humor.”

“I’m with Mary too,” Dawn said, walking up and adding her name under Mary’s. “It’s for the best. If there are going to be strippers at Nick’s bachelor party… I’d rather not.”

The last thing she wanted was to compare her own body to those of the beautiful women that Sylvia would no-doubt send to pleasure Nick. She didn’t want to think about what their deranged host thought a sexy stripper would look like. Probably like Carly’s current outfit, but even more obscene.

“Me next!” Carly skipped up to the board, and moved both her name and Marley’s under Nick’s category.

“Hey!” Marley frowned. “Don’t I get a say in this?!”

Carly glanced at her and raised her eyebrow. “Uh… no? Kind of a packaged deal, remember?”

Marley sighed. “Fair enough…”

Rose was the next one to go. She walked up to the board, and placed her hand over her name. She was about to slide it over to the bachelor party when she caught a glimpse of Mary out of the corner of her eye.

Mary gave her a pleading look. Her eyes were sparkling with hope. She had really bonded with Rose over the last few days, and was overflowing with gratitude towards her for what she did the other night.

It was honestly a little hard to believe how hostile the two of them had been before… and a little hard for Rose to disappoint her.

“…Aargh, damn it…” Rose muttered under her breath, sliding her name over to Mary’s side of the board. This would be far from Nick’s last bachelor party.

Dani stared at the blonde in shock. She’d been counting on Rose to do a lot of the heavy lifting in planning the bachelor party; she might have been the face as Nick’s best woman, but Rose was the brains!

Could she really plan this out on her own?

“What am I supposed to do here?!” She silently demanded of Rose, glaring across the Banquet Hall at her.

Rose blinked. She looked around, then gave her a thumbs up and a wink.

“THAT DOESN’T HELP ME, YOU TRAITOR!” Dani wanted to scream. But she held her tongue and settled for another scathing glare instead.

That just left one person.

“Morgana?” Nick asked gently, causing the goth to blush. “Which one would you like to go to?”

Morgana stared at him, stunned. “Can I… can I actually choose? You both… you want me to go to your parties?”

“Of course,” Mary nodded. “Just keep the witch stuff to a minimum, please.”

“I’d be happy to,” Nick agreed. “Whatever you want.”

Morgana was overwhelmed. She’d never had something like this before. Not only was she being invited to a party… but to two parties?

Did she even dare to dream about something so wonderful?

But tragically, she could only pick one. She sighed, and exhaled. “Okay… then… I think I want…”

She looked at them both.

“…Mary.”

Nick was actually surprised. Mary was, too.

Even Sylvia didn’t see that one coming. “Wait, Mary?” She asked, just to be sure. “You know this is the perfect opportunity to party with Nick, right?”

Morgana nodded. She knew what she was giving up. A night with her idol, and only having to share him with half as many women as usual.

But… Mary… she was almost a friend. Maybe.

And Morgana wanted to see where that went. She wanted to celebrate things from Mary’s side. She walked over to the board and added her name to the bachelorette party column.

“I’d like to go to both,” she admitted. “But spending time with my f-f-fr-fr… the other girls is important, too.”

She blushed as red as a tomato when she saw Mary’s smile.

“Excellent! Glad we could sort that out!” Sylvia tapped her cane, dismissing the screen. “Now that the order is out of the way… let’s get back to planning that wedding!”

Nick sighed. He figured that would be her next move. Might as well get it over with.