Yes (and she knows a lot)

You call to granny maiden whom where you lye in the sallows propping up you torso and letting yourself be rocked by the waves, and thinking you hadn't realised you would be so heavy above water.

The Granny maiden doesn't seem surprised to see you as. Putting her lips against the stick and taking a long drag. The tip glowing more brightly then letting out a slow smoky breath.

"A young'n come to learn how to do it with human eh." the smoke she breathed out turns into a mermaid held in in the arms of a strong man with two well defined legs and drifts towards you. You blush because they seem to be looking into each others eyes, and you think they are deeply in love.

You answer back timidly, splashing your tail in the water.

"Come 'er girl so this ol' granny can 'ave a look." she command languidly. You notice that she is using a human language at at the same time as she is communicating telephaticly with you. but her telephic messages are strangely abbreviated, and you wonder if she has somehow lost some of her ability over the years on land.

You eye the shallow puddles of water on the sand and wonder at the logistics of getting around on land. But since you were seen on meeting a good human you decide you'd have to fave this problem sooner or later.

You drag yourself forward slowly over the sand. Trying to avoid the sharp rocks. not even half way to the Granny your arms are already shaking from the effort. Never in your life had you needed to work them so har. You try to use you tail to propel you forward and end up landing face first in the sand.

Spitting out sand from your mouth you try to lift yourself ond rain your hips for another lunge, but your arms give out under you and you end up face first in the sand again with your hips waving in the air. You feel your breasts rubbing falling against the ground. and your nipples harden from the gritt rapping against them. You weren't used to this because usually your boobs floated in the water.

"Hohoho! Not bad! you migh' be able to draw out a few men wavin' those hips like the! Chuckles Granny-maid.

You feel yourself blush again, but you are determined to prove yourself by getting yourself to the granny.

Somehow you manage with a combination of crawling, lunging and face planting.

You tun on your back panting heavily and feeling exhausted as you look up at the granny. where she is sitting on her rock. looking down at you evaluatingly.

"You're prob'ly better off pretendin' you're helpless on land when you meet your first human. This floppin' is only goo' for comedies." You feel a bit disheartened as you blink up at the hag, your face caked with sand. No on ad told you about this part when telling those stories.

The granny's lips quirked up I a generous smile.

"But A for Effort." She concludes and you sit up smiling happily. Even though you don't know what she is referencing you understand her meaning.

The Granny-maiden slips off her rock lithely and slitters around you effortlessly.

"Now le's see what we have here."

she cups a hand full of water from one of the nearby puddles uses it to wash of some of the sand from your face.

"Good face, thy'll like it here. Nice colours hair to." The granny comments as she pinches your chin and turns your face from side to side. "The humans of this era are very clean so make sure to always have a clean face and torso. Best' you comb an' air-dry your hair too before meetin' a human."

The hag takes another drag from the smoking stick. On letting out a breath the smoke forms into a maiden sitting on a rock and pulling a brush through her hair.

You suddenly realise that she must be using magic consciously to help explain things to you.

"Ah" you let out a gentle cry as Granny-maiden grabs one of your breasts and gives it a firm squeeze.

"Good, make sure you make such pretty noises when they touch you!" praises Granny-maiden and you and you feel your ears heat up.

"um, mm, ah..." You mule sensitively as granny tweaks your nipple several times with her thin thumb while brushing sand off of it. This was the first time someone had pinched your nipples and they seemed especially sensitive.

"Your boobs are nice and firm. Cute nipples too" Sighs the old mermaid nostalgically. Idly she takes another drag and and lets out another stream of smoke which forms into a mermaid sitting on a man's lap, his hands pawing both her breast. You feel your entire face go red, though this time you don't think granny-maiden had done it consciously.

She lets go of your breast and smooths her hand over you hip an down on your tail, brushing the sand off.

Nice, vivid colourin', sooth, unscarred scales. You'r' the perfect stereotypical mermaid. Humans will get used to you quickly." She concludes and you push out your breast with pride. As Grainy-maiden smirks at you.

Then her smile drops.

She is about to take another drag from the smoking stick when you enquire her about it.

"This m'deer, is a cigarette."

You ask her if you can try it and her smile drops.

"You haven' even learned to crawl and you already wan'na play aroun' with ****, hmm?" she says darkly.

"Be careful. Humans aren' such innocent creatures. If you're not careful you'll help them count the coins they earned from selli'n you." She warns.

And you feel a chill down your spine. This human business was shaping up to be more complicated than you thought and you hadn't even started.

"Don' be disheartened lass. I have spent years enjoyin' my time with em. I'm jus' tellin' you what I wish I had known."

You firm your expression and nod at her determinedly. This was your dream after all.

"At first you mus' be carful, try to learn about them bit by bit. Be careful aroun' the first people you meet. Don' use telepathy, it will scare them. An those who aren't, you don' wan'na know."

She lectures and you listen to her carefully. Trying to memorise everything she tells you.

"Approach only humans who are alone. An if they bring friends to see you: hide. Learn to speak as soon as you can, then establish clear rules for seein' you again. You must say this: no filming, no pictures, no bringin' other friends, no telling everybody that they have seen you."

"If others see you pretend' you're a normal human an' use your arms to swim away. Not your tail." She tells you. And you nod brows furrowed. You're not sure you understand everything she is saying but you think you will learn eventually.

"You must be careful of these three things." the hag takes a deliberate drag from her cigarette and breathes out. It forms into three different object.

"Telephones," she points at one thin square object. "and cameras" she points at the two other objects on small and rectangular with a circle on one end and the other much more complicated and lumpy with a long cylinder attached.

"If you see them, hide or pretend you are human, but don't throw them into the water or break them. Humans become very angry if you do that. If they film something incriminating, ask them to delete it. If they don't it's probably time for you to move on." Explains Granny severely.

"Don't play with children, they are bad at keepin' secret and humans are very protective of them. Only help them if they are drownin' or somethin'." You can understand this logic. Children are very sheltered in mermaid societies. You wouldn't want humans to play around with them either.

"Do't be overconfident and think you can start a romance until you thoroughly understan' the human society. You're heart will end up break'n like a little mermaid's. I have seen it happen many times before." Granny-maid says soberly and takes another long drag on the cigarette. Letting out a long sigh afterwards. The smoke forms into the image of a mermaid reaching out forlornly from where she sits on the ground, a man walking away from her without a second glance.

You feel your heart strings tugged. You'd always avoided listening to the tragic stories.

"A good place to start is with young adult women. They are still learnin' about the world and themselves just like you." The granny smiles mischievously.

By this time you're head is spinning with all of the new information.

The Granny-maid laughs while looking at you.

"I see that you've 'eared enough. Anymore and tha' li'le head of yours may explode. This granny had done quite enough of talkin' too" she proclaims, though she looks more energetic than you.

The slithers lithely to her rock and leans her back on it to suck the last bit on her cigarette. And seems to let her mind wander bit. As she blows out a breath you sea a clear image of what must be granny had arched on the sand as a bony old man gyrated his hip against her tail while pulling on her breasts.

Your face turns instantly read.

She seems to notice belatedly what scene in her mind she had revealed and but doesn't seem the least bit embarrassed, smirking at you instead.

"Such a virgin." she teases.

Now with your theoretical lesson over. Do you go off to explore the beaches or rivers for a potential human or do you stay with Granny-maid and ask her for a more... practical lesson?