Yes, and not as gradually as one might hope

The next few days were rough. At least there was work to take my mind off my increasingly troubling fantasies, but every evening once back home and all alone, there was no escaping them. I found myself listening out eagerly for another upstairs encounter, but there was nothing. Even light footsteps from above would make my heart flutter and I knew I had to do something to sate my curiosity. Somehow find a way to get over this absurd fantasy and move on.

Predictably I turned to porn. First it was guy on girl, interracial stuff... pretty basic. A petite young white girl getting railed by BBC and loving it. Increasingly I found myself focusing on the BBC rather than the girls, skipping forward to the cum shots and relishing how much mess they always made of the pretty thing's features. Soon I realised the girls were just getting in the way so I tried watching some black T-girls showing off and jacking it for the the camera. As hot as this was, deep down I knew this wasn't it. Deep down I knew what I really wanted.

By mid week I was jacking off to straight up dick porn. Watching close-up shots of big, thick black cocks being whacked off while I imagined sucking them, swallowing down their thick loads and even taking them up my tight virgin ass. In fact, that had become more and more of an obsession, so much so that I had bought some lube and started to explore down there. At first it was just a finger, then two but before long I was sliding things up there to try to tickle the itch that was now so damn strong I felt like I was going mad.

Had my past self from just a week ago seen what I had become they would be mortified - cumming the hardest I had ever cum before to dick porn of all things, with a slippery cucumber lodged up my asshole. There was always shame straight after, but I would also come back to it again and again, sometimes after just a few minutes rest.

Finally in the stark clarity of yet another wonderful orgasm I knew it. I finally admitted it to myself. I was obsessed and one way or another, something had to give.