With the Imp of the Perverse

"Come on boy" the gruff voice demanded "get your ass up. I've got better things to do than wait on a lazy mortal all day."

"Mm not boy" you mumbled still half asleep "I twenty-six"

"Ha! You're a boy to me fuckhead" the voice barked its reply "Now wake the fuck up or I'll piss in your mouth and make you gargle it."

That got your attention. Forcing your eyes open you looked around for the source of the bizarre threat. When you found it you thought you must still be dreaming. It was a demon, at least that’s what it looked like. Short, fat, and naked it squatted at the end of your bed. It's red skin shining with sweat and its whip-like tail lashing back and forth like an angry cat.

You blinked at the sight of it rubbing your bleary eyes and starred again expecting the grotesque vision to vanish but it remained stubbornly solid.

“Whu…?” you gapped as shock chased the cobwebs of sleep from your mind.

“What’s the matter shitfucker” the creature sneered “never seen a demon before?”

“I…” you managed before he cut you off.

“That was rhetorical bollock brains” he snapped producing a sheaf of paper from thin air “Shut up while I do the legal bit. Ahem, I Za'karnus Grellson Ispan of Dis and Imp of the perverse do hereby take formal possession of the corporeal form and immortal soul of the party of the first part known henceforth as John Smith in accordance with the terms of this contract signed thirty days prior to this date and under the authority of his most satanic majesty Lucifer, Lord of Hell, the Great Beast, etc. Etc. and all that shit. So any questions?”

You gaped at it trying to make sense of all that.

"Wait, contract?" You managed after a long pause, "I never signed any contract. who the fuck are you? Is this some kind of setup?"

"Gonna be like that about it are ya?" He grumbled "Okay. I'll explain once because I'm in a good mood. See this?"

A paper scroll materialized in your hands.

"Magical Realm: Worlds of Fantasy. User's terms and conditions" you read aloud "Wait? This is for that dumb phone game. The one with all the anime girls. What has that got to do with anything?"

"Satan's ball sack, do I gotta spell it out for ya? Fine, look here…" the scroll unravelled in your hands. He tapped one gnarled red finger on one particular paragraph.

"I the undersigned do hereby pledge my earthly body and immortal soul to service of hell and with surrender said assets to the person of hell's assigned representative at the point of fulfilment of this contract." You read the tiny print "You seriously expect me to believe I sold my soul for an app?"

"Believe it asshole" the imp leered "you made the agreement. You played the game. You didn't delete it in thirty days so now your ass is mine!"

You shook your head trying to decide if this was a bizarre dream or a hallucination.

"Look, I'm a busy demon." He snapped "I ain't got time to hold your hand while you figure out this shit is for real. I'm going to mark you so you know I'm on the level then I'm gonna leave you to your existential crisis. But when I come back I expect some fucking respect, understood?"

Not waiting for a response it snapped it's fingers and vanished in a cloud of sulfurous smoke. Coughing and waving the smoke away you wondered what it had meant by "marking you". The answer to that question came almost immediately. Sweeping the covers back you stifled a scream at the sight of your now transformed body...