Wishes

I wish the couples playing beer pong play boys against the girls, and I wish the losers have to perform oral sex on the winners in the bathroom.

You look at the women with the bottle of champagne. I wish that unbeknownst to those women, that champagne has been spiked with a powerful aphrodisiac, and I wish the side effects included loss of up to 20 IQ points, increased sensitivity of nipples, anus, pussy, lips, and tongue, reduced inhibitions, and reduced will power, and I wish the aphrodisiac and side effects last twelve hours.

You smile and order a Guinness draft at the bar.