Wild Things reimagined in 2001.

Wild Things was a popular sexy thriller back in the day, and you want to put your changes on it and make it better. To do so you move it from 1998 to 2001, and you replace several cast members.

Originally the producers wanted Robert Downey Jr, but he was not available in 2001 for being in **** treatment, so you cast yourself in the lead as the guidance counselor to give the film a bit more star power. Another film for yourself in 2001? Why not?

Sophie Marceau is now cast as Kelly’s mom, further adding to the star power of the film, and being 35 at the time and still fully in the prime of her beauty she will add to this erotic thriller.

You also recast both Kelly and Susie, with Shannon Elizabeth fresh off of her American Pie fame playing Kelly, the wealthy daughter of Sophie Marceau, and Jennifer Lopez is cast as the poor swamp girl Susie. Both are at the start of their careers in film, but both add beauty to the film, something good in a film with as much sex as this one will contain.

And to add even more pure star power you add Michael Caine to the film as Kelly’s grandfather, but you have him play a straight American accent, and he does a fine job of it, in the small part he has to play.

You also add Zoe Saldana as Jennifer Lopez’s mother in a brief role, this was at the very start of her career, but her beauty and talent add to an already talented cast and crew. And then Tyrese Gibson joins the cast as the boy toy lover of Kelly and her mother. He is a on screen sexual fling for both Shannon Elizabeth and Sophie Marceau in the film.

Bill Murray remains in the cast, making this a star studded cast.

And lastly you change things so that Sam Mendes directs it, an academy award winning director who directed American Beauty, another erotic film with a lot of plot twists.

This film is one that was already fairly erotic for its time in mainstream cinema, having even been toned down from what had been intended. There was some seriously raunchy stuff considered for the film when it was being made, which should have been included. Why not push boundaries?

Some plot elements left on the cutting room floor for the 1998 original were a subplot where Kelly, Denise Richards character, had been born of an incestuous relationship with her mother and her mother’s own father.

Also Susie, Neve Campbell’s character, had been born of Kelly’s grandfather as well. Being raised by her aunt and uncle for her mother committing suicide after her father abandoned them. This made Susie Kelly’s aunt and half sister, an actual blood relative.

You embrace these storyline elements, as well as restoring most deleted content, including a deep dive into a lasting lesbian relationship which had taken place between the two principle female leads, long before the events of the film.

And you go a step further than that, showing a incestuous sexual relationship on screen between Michael Caine and all three of his daughters, making the role of Kelly’s mother even more sexual than shown in the original, with her also having sex with her daughter Kelly on screen.

This will be a wild ride. There will be a lot of fucking, and this film will earn its R rating, even in your new cinematic reality where an R rating is basically anything goes pornography.

The film begins somewhat differently, as the scenes at school still happen, showing Sam Lombardo is shown as the school’s guidance counselor leading a lecture the local police join in on, then he is shown on a boat with a student, and then giving Kelly and a male student a ride home.

These scenes have brief cuts, and shown over the more normal intro to the film are brief cuts of Sophie Marceau and Tyrese Gibson fucking, Kelly’s mom and her mom’s bodyguard / fuck buddy.

Seeing Sophie Marceau taking a black cock in a fully hardcore scene is both shocking and beautiful, and you show quick scenes of a lot of different sex acts. First you show a deep French kiss heavy on tongue, then Tyrese sucking on Sophie’s tits, then you show Sophie licking and kissing Tyrese’s cock, licking his shaft, sucking his balls, and then deep throating his cock down to his balls.

Then as the school scene continues you show Tyrese fucking Sophie, in a variety of positions. All quick cuts, all different positions, the two lovers look like they are going for everything found in the Kama Sutra it is so varied. And when you show Tyrese orgasm, he pulls out, Sophie gets on her knees and Tyrese jerks off into her open mouth, and you show Sophie Marceau swallow his cum greedily. She smiles up at her lover with the taste of him on her tongue, and a little bit of his cum on her chin.

The film moves on to your character giving Shannon Elizabeth a ride home in his Jeep, with a male student in the passenger seat for the sake of appearances, and Shannon Elizabeth sitting in the middle as the guys bicycle is in the back. And Shannon Elizabeth is even more forward than Denise Richards was in the original.

And as in the original, Kelly, Shannon Elizabeth’s character leans out of the Jeep and insults Jennifer Lopez, calling her trailer trash and a wetback whore as she tries to get an old junk car running, before you drive the Jeep away. He doesn’t seem to enjoy the argument or the racism he is hearing, but it isn’t his place to correct it.

Shannon Elizabeth sits with the gear shift between her legs, and her legs spread wide as he works the gear shift. One of her arms is around your shoulder and the other is bracing herself, as Shannon Elizabeth is arching her back to accent her big tits.

And with the body you have given Shannon Elizabeth for American Pie 1 and 2, with bigger tits and a more muscular stripper body, her tits really stand out when she does this, and they jiggle and bounce wonderfully as the Jeep goes over bumps in the road.

Neither of the men in the Jeep can miss it, but the guidance counselor does a better job of acting like he doesn’t notice. What she does notice, leaning into her guidance counselor as she is, is that he has an erection. His light pants, worn to help in the heat of Florida, don’t do a very good job of hiding that his cock is hard, and Shannon Elizabeth doesn’t help in how she acts, making light contact with his cock here and there, just playing with a man she really does want to fuck.

And when your character goes to shift gears, Shannon Elizabeth always seems to have her lower body right up against his gear shift stick, and she moves towards him as she changes gears. It is obviously flirtatious, but to the eyes of the male student in Sam’s Jeep, the teacher barely notices, being nothing but professional.

When Shannon Elizabeth learns over her teacher to put in her gate code, her beautiful muscular ass is up facing the male student, who can’t look away, and while her right hand goes to the keypad, her left hand rests firmly on your character’s cock, and she grips it outside of his pants as she gives him a flirtatious smile.

She gives a subtle tug back and forth on a quite large and hard cock, before moving back to her position nearly sitting on the gear shift knob. Then you show Shannon Elizabeth stare into your character’s eyes and lick the hand that had been gripping his cock, winking when she is done.

You show Sophie Marceau walk out on the balcony as she did, wearing an open robe, but in your version she stands completely naked under the robe, which is open to fully show both of their naked breasts, and her shaved pussy.

“Jesus Christ mom…” Shannon Elizabeth says, “cover up, is that…is that fucking cum on your face?”

You show Sophie Marceau smile, feeling some of Tyrese’s cum on her chin, and she makes eye contact with her daughter as she takes it with her finger before cleaning her finger with her tongue.

“Too bad you missed your chance with me Sam,” she says with a smile. “It was fun while it lasted.”

You then show a flashback to a series of very rough fucks with your character and Sophie Marceau, where they fuck as hard as you can imagine anyone fucking on screen to that point in history.

The next scene is when Shannon Elizabeth and her fiend show up to wash their teacher’s Jeep, also introducing Sam’s fiancé, the wealthy Barbara Baxter. And you show there isn’t a lot of chemistry between them, with no physical contact, no kiss or hug as she leaves Sam with two female high school students, seemingly with no jealousy at all.

Shannon Elizabeth then arranges to be left there alone when the Jeep is nearly finished, and is then at the door soaking wet and looking very horny. Then the scene changes to her running out of the house and down the street looking angry.

The film moves on as she tells her mom that her guidance counselor **** her, and then to the police getting involved, as well as Tyrese forcing you off the road, flipping your Jeep, and then giving you a beating afterward.

You then show Jennifer Lopez then testifying against Sam, telling them he **** her as wells, but in her much more profane manner.

Then you move to the trial scene in the film, where Bill Murray breaks Jennifer Lopez down on the stand, where she admits it was all a lie.

The film continues with the case against Sam getting thrown out after the chaos in court, then Kelly’s mom paying a settlement to Sam Lombardo, but a much larger one with the film being more modern (and the family being quite wealthy), $30 million instead of the original $8.5 million.

This then leads to the famous threesome scene, where Sean Penn returns to his hotel room to find Shannon Elizabeth with a bottle of champagne, along with Jennifer Lopez.

The threesome they had in the original was hardly tame by Hollywood standards, but it wasn’t anything special for softcore or hardcore porn, which is the new bar. But it was rare to have seen a threesome in a mainstream film, so you make it quite a lot better. You make it a lot longer, and a lot more explicit than it was originally.

It opens as it did with Sam kissing each of the two young women, explaining that a guidance counselor finds out a lot about students, but you don’t leave it there.

“You two don’t get along well, you haven’t all year have you?” Sean Penn asks. “Not a lot of people know what you two did last summer, but I do…quite the lesbian fling wasn’t it?” He says softly.

“I know all about it, you two ended up in the same bedroom at a party,” he continues softly. “You didn’t know someone leaned in and took some pictures of the two of you in a sixty nine did you?”

You then show this scene, with JLo and Shannon Elizabeth in a lesbian fuck that is **** in how hungry the two young women look to be for each other. They eat pussy in a long cut lesbian scene that is well lit and in clear focus, it is beautiful.

“Let’s all get reacquainted, and let’s start with you two kissing and making up,” he says as he guides Shannon Elizabeth and Jennifer Lopez’s lips together, and the two young women aren’t shy. They are quickly making out like the lovers they once were. “That’s my good girls, this is so much better than arguing…”

You then show a longer and fully pornographic threesome with yourself, Shannon Elizabeth and Jennifer Lopez. All of you are naked, all three show full nudity head to toe, getting very busy with fucking on their last day to see each other for a while, as after this there can be no contact for a while.

The threesome sex scene now lasts more than twenty minutes, is slower with long and clear shots of the naked women and the sex, and is in good lighting. A longer scene of them kissing, stripping each other and starting the threesome with a lot of eye contact.

In the threesome you show yourself fucking both Shannon Elizabeth and Jennifer Lopez, and a lot of the two young women fucking each other. Take what they had in the original and quite a lot of eroticism and explicit sex, and you get something really fun to watch.

You focus on each character’s face at times, and their enjoyment, and you depict yourself as getting off first, balls deep in JLo, his hands on her wonderful ass as he fucks her doggy style, and when he pulls out to cum, Shannon Elizabeth lays her face on JLo’s ass and take the cumshot in her mouth, which she then shares with JLo in a deep cum kiss.

Then you show Jennifer Lopez and Shannon Elizabeth in the 69 position eating each other out and both orgasming quite violently, shaking and moaning.

Sean Penn orgasms again, this time pounding away on Shannon Elizabeth in the missionary position, but with JLo facing him while sitting on Shannon’s face, getting her pussy eaten. When he pulls out he stands and cums in JLo’s mouth, who then crouches and spits his cum into Shannon’s mouth, before they share another cum kiss.

This continues with quite a lot of position changes, and with JLo putting on a strap on to fuck Shannon Elizabeth doggy style as she sucks Sean Penn’s cock, before Shannon Elizabeth trades places, using it to fuck JLo in the ass as she rides Sean Penn ‘s cock cowgirl style.

The scene goes to black with the three lovers exhausted on the bed, but looking quite satisfied. You show cum on Shannon Elizabeth’s faces, and cum also leaking out of each of their pussies.

The next scene tracks with the original, as Kevin Bacon suspects they were all in on a conspiracy together, and he starts to apply pressure to the two young women. And on screen it works, as he leans on Jennifer Lopez quite hard, but he goes farther than the original.

He doesn’t just talk about what he suspects, and what will happen if he is correct, he also points out evidence that she is a prostitute. He shows her pictures with her in them, a stack of them.

They show Jennifer Lopez walking to a nice house, and being greeted by an old white man, played by Michael Caine. When they greet it is with a lasting kiss on the lips, and Kevin Bacon shows more pictures after those.

Clear pictures of Michael Caine fucking JLo, with a short scene shown to the audience showing what they had done.

“You have been busy Susie, and I have been following you,” he says as he flips through the pictures. “Selling that pretty little ass to the fine people of Blue Bay…does Kelly know you are whoring yourself to her grandfather? Old man Van Ryan?”

“Let’s say you two have a secret to keep, and you do…and she finds out her grandfather is paying you to fuck you in that pretty brown ass,” he says as he shows JLo pictures of the sex act he describes, Kevin Bacon has her against a wall and is leaning in against her, nearly in a sexual way. “She will find out Susie, I promise you that, somehow she will see these pictures…think she will keep your secrets then?”

“I’m not a whore, you fucking pig,” JLo says, pushing him away. “He didn’t pay me…”

The officer then shows her pictures of her taking money from Michael Caine before she leaves, “oh yes he did you fucking whore.” He hisses in her ear, leaning in against her, now pushing his pelvis between her legs in a very sexual manner. “I can’t go after old man Van Ryan, but a two bit wetback whore like you? Kelly will turn on you, and you go down for prostitution, and everything else we can throw at you.”

“Your mom offed herself, nobody knows who your dad is, maybe I give you to immigration and see if they deport your ass for fun!”

He is breathing on her now, menacing her, “when you get out Susie, you won’t have to even worry about birth control when you make your living on your back…or maybe you are back in Columbia, or wherever your fucking mom was from…”

“Fuck you pig, he never paid me for sex…” she says, making eye contact. “I fucked him for free motherfucker…that does happen asshole, people fuck for the enjoyment.”

“But that never happens for you does it…you limp dicked loser,” she continues as she taunts him, unafraid. “You have to pay to get a woman to suck your cock don’t you? You worthless fucking cop…or do you have to pay boys to suck you off? Are you a homo you fucking pig?”

Kevin Bacon puts one hand around her throat and raises the other to strike her, and JLo winces in preparation of being hit, but he backs away.

“Watch your back Susie,” Kevin Bacon says. “Someone is going to turn on you, I guarantee it you fucking whore!”

“Pussy!” JLo shouts back at him, then spitting in his face. “Are you scared you will get your bitch ass kicked by a teen aged girl? I would kick your ass you fucking fairy!”

Kevin Bacon smiles, she has some spirit to her, and he moves away, not wanting to make a bigger scene.

Next you show JLo goes to Shannon Elizabeth’s house, scared as the police are getting closer to them, she is freaking out. Shannon Elizabeth tries to calm her, finally calling their guidance counselor, who gets them both on the line, and tries to talk them down, word for word from the original script.

This leads to the swimming pool fight, and a much longer lesbian sex scene. Shannon Elizabeth has her build from American Pie 2, which she made in 2001, where she had added muscle in training to play the stripper part of her role. JLo is in good shape as well but far les muscular, and at 5’10” Shannon Elizabeth is a lot bigger than JLo at 5’5”.

So the pool fight went as it did in the original, with Shannon Elizabeth nearly drowning JLo, whose harsh countenance breaks to one of fear and desperation. This calms her, and she kisses the other young woman in a soft French kiss, that quickly becomes a full on lesbian fuck that Kevin Bacon is recording.

They do quite a lot, and you spend a good minute of screen time on JLo sucking on Shannon Elizabeth’s big tits. About ten minutes into a long lesbian sex scene, Shannon Elizabeth moves a pool chair over and lies it back, laying JLo down as if to eat her out, then she rotates herself and lowers her own pussy to JLo’s face, and JLo begins to hungrily eat her out, with Shannon Elizabeth reciprocating.

At this point the scene transitions to the police station as the captain walks in and freaks out as numerous officers are watching what is basically an unauthorized lesbian sex tape with two high school girls, and he angrily shuts it down.

The next major scene has Shannon Elizabeth bring JLo out to a rural area, where they drink and fool around, and they are naked and having sex when your character arrives. And this is when Shannon Elizabeth is sent to her mom’s suv to get a blanket so they can all join in the fun, when she hears a pained cry, and runs back to see JLo on the ground and bleeding. And then you show yourself walk back to the car after burying her body in the swamp.

There is a scene soon after when the guidance counselor seduces an attractive black female cop. Nothing sexual happens in the original, but not in your version. In your version this officer is played by Angela Bassett. She was 43 in 2001, but you de-age her a bit, making her 36 in your cinematic reality, looking even younger as she did back in 1991 in Boyz n the Hood.

A raunchy fuck is shown on camera and your character seduces Angela Bassett and fucks her quite hard. Why miss a chance to show more sex on camera?

You show the black woman at the end, her eyes wild, fucking the man she is supposed to be watching. When your character orgasms, she happily opens her mouth as he sprays her face and mouth with a powerful cumshot.

Not long after Sam Lombardo leaves her hotel room, and she takes a call from Kevin Bacon, who is at Shannon Elizabeth’s house, he is thinking of going in, and she tells him not to.

She hangs up the phone, and looks at her left hand, which has cum on it. She stands and looks in a mirror and sees the mess they made, with her face and tits covered in cum.

She then sees some on her ring finger, right on her wedding ring. She smirks, and cleans her finger with her mouth, swallowing all of the cum in her mouth.

“Not a bad fuck, for a school teacher,” Angela Bassett says happily.

Then you show the scene where Kevin Bacon kills the Kelly character, going into her house without a warrant. You don’t show this anymore than the original film did, but the outcome is the same. Kevin Bacon shoots and kills Kelly Van Ryan in her home, and is fired for it.

Then you show your character on the beach at his new beach house, and he comes in to see Kevin Bacon in his shower, with a full frontal nude scene you lean on, showing it for longer.

The two men then go to a large sail boat, and before long when out at sea Senn Penn tries to send Kevin Bacon overboard, and a fight ensues until JLo shoots Bacon with a spear gun, the second shot sending him over to die at sea.

And then when JLo and your character are drinking on the boat, and she is using the wrong words for sailing and he promises to teach her, she poisons him, and he also falls off the boat.

The film then closes by explaining some of the plot twists seen, and some probably unnoticed. JLo’s adopted mother is shown explaining to Angela Bassett that old man Van Ryan was JLo’s biological father, and that her mother drank herself to **** after he left her and her daughter alone.

You show a flashback of this, with a younger looking Michael Caine shown seducing Zoe Saldana, and with then having a passionate week long romp in Puerto Rico when he is on holiday there. She follows him back to Florida, and her daughter with him is born in the USA, but in the end the wealthy socialite rejects any public relationship with JLo’s mother, and this drives her to heavy drinking, and a terrible car accident when JLo was very young. Then her adopted father is shown explaining that her IQ was tested and is above 200, which surprises the officer talking to him.

You then show how JLo set it all up, with some narration from Jennifer Lopez to explain things.

To start she is shown getting your character on board first, showing him pictures and then a video of him fucking Shannon Elizabeth, a student at the school he works at. “Not sure what came out better, the straw in her nose or your cock in her ass. You ass fucking a student, they tend to look down on that don’t they?”

Your character starts to defend himself but JLo stops him, “I’m not blackmailing you Mr. Lombardo, you like Kelly, and you like pussy in general…this will get us paid a lot of money, and in the end you get to keep fucking Kelly…and you get to fuck me as well.”

JLo makes some serious ‘fuck me’ eyes to Sean Penn, and opens his pants, and she starts to jerk him off.

“There is a lot of action to be had here, Kelly really likes you I think,” JLo says in a sexy voice. “Like she really likes you, like she wants to marry you Sam.”

“I need you to use that. Keep her liking you, and keep fucking her, not a big ask…hold on,” she says as she moves between his legs. “I really need your help, and that need on my part is gonna get your dick sucked right here and now…your cock in my mouth right here and now Mr. Lombardo.”

And like that JLo drops her head to his lap and you show a quick blowjob, and a loud one, with a lot of slurping and sucking sounds until his head tilts back and he cums in her mouth. He doesn’t warn her, and JLo doesn’t seem to care, swallowing his cum, wiping her mouth and going back to explaining things.

“That is just a taste, help me out and you can fuck me whenever you want to, ok?” JLo continues. “You get all the sex you want, and we get paid, it is a good deal for everyone.”

“I also need you to get to know a bitch ass cop,” she says, showing a picture of Kevin Bacon. “He will be invoked, hopefully, but he can only know about you…he can’t know me or Kelly is in on it. Especially not me, he killed a friend of mine.”

“I can manage that,” Sean Penn replies. “I have seen him around…”

Then she is shown with Shannon Elizabeth, and she shows her a video of a lesbian sex scene with Shannon Elizabeth and her mother, played by Sophie Marceau. It is a sensual lesbian fuck seen on screen, it is obvious the mother and daughter are into each other, and that Shannon Elizabeth and Sophie Marceau have good chemistry.

You show them have sex for a good five minutes, gently, romantically, lots of kissing and caressing. It is genuine love by the look of it.

Shannon gets defensive, but JLo doesn’t **** her, she seduces her, and the two young women have an intense lesbian fuck.

“Look Kelly, gay, straight…related, who the fuck cares,” she says in a sexy tone. “I sure as fuck don’t.”

“But it is my own mother, if anyone found out me and my mom are fucking…anyone, my grandfather might disown us for the scandal.” She says, quite worried. “We argue in public, but it is a front…she says we need to make sure people don’t suspect anything like what is happening.”

“So I know your grandpa, pretty much exactly like you know him,” JLo says, showing her a picture of Zoe Saldana and Michael Caine when they were younger. “As it happens, that is my mom, and your grandpa fucked her…and she got pregnant. She had me, then he left her on her own. He is my dad…the man you know as your grandpa.”

Shannon Elizabeth’s eyes to wide, “so that makes you, what…my aunt? By blood?”

JLo smiles, “well yes, but not just that. You see I know why your dad killed himself,” she says showing another video, this a homemade sex tape with Sophie Marceau and Michael Caine fucking, and going at it, and it isn’t an old video, it looks modern. “Your dad walked in on them, your mom and her dad. From what I am told your mom was taking a cumshot in the mouth from her dear old dad, and your dad walked straight outside and took a shot in the mouth himself, from a .357.”

Shannon Elizabeth looks devastated to learn this of her family, but in the end not all that surprised.

“A paternity test was run in secret, the man you knew as your dad was completely unrelated to you, just a wealthy man with a big bank account and a little dick. And your mom kept him around to add to the family fortune while she fucked her dad,” JLo continues. “James Van Ryan, the man you know as your grandfather, well he is your dad, it was proven in the paternity test. We are half sisters, and I am your aunt.

“And when I say I know him like you know him,” JLo continues, showing a new set of pictures of Shannon Elizabeth getting fucked by Michael Caine. “Well I know that you are fucking him…your actual biological father.”

The pictures show Shannon Elizabeth fucking the man she now knows is her own father, and as before, you show the video on screen, now of Michael Caine fucking Shannon Elizabeth hard.

“I mean I know him…biblically, I am fucking him just like you are,” she hands over a new set of pictures.

Shannon Elizabeth flips through a set of pictures, and sees that Susie, someone she had hated before that day, was her half sister and was also fucking their father. And you show another night when Michael Caine fucked JLo, the old British man being quite busy on this film.

“I promise you, dear old dad has no shame to throw at either of us,” JLo continued. “He fucked your mom from the time she was old enough, and he had you. Then when you and I were old enough he fucked both of us…I mean tell me the old man doesn’t have some dick game. And don’t forget those nights last year at Todd’s parties, you fucked me as well.”

You then show a quick sex scene where Michael Caine fucks both Jennifer Lopez and Shannon Elizabeth, one at a time, but in a lot of different places. It appears to happen quite a lot.

“I mean a high libido runs in our family right? Our dad fucked both of our moms, you fucked your mom, we fucked each other,” JLo continues with a laugh. “Our family tree is all kinds of fucked up.”

There is a long moment of introspection for Shannon Elizabeth, then she speaks, her voice cracking in emotion, “what do you want?”

“I want money Kelly, a lot of fucking money,” JLo continues. “You can’t touch your trust till your mom dies, and our dad won’t ever admit anything about me in public, and give me anything…but I know a way to get a lot of it now…and it involves Sam.”

“Mr. Lombardo?” Shannon Elizabeth asks.

“Yeah, him…you love him right?” JLo asks, showing more pictures, these of Shannon Elizabeth fucking her guidance counselor. “I know what is happening, I just need it to keep happening, and for you to help me steer him where we need him to go…”

The narration then starts from Jennifer Lopez, “my mom died after Van Ryan abandoned her into poverty. He ignored me till I was old enough and my body filled out to the point that he wanted to put his cock in me,” she says in a sexy tone. “He wasn’t ever going to give me anything but more cock and pocket change, he would give me $100 when I visited him and fucked him, but never more. I was just a whore to him…he knew if he gave me too much I would not have to fuck his wrinkled cock anymore.”

You show the scene where Sean Penn and JLo fake her ****, with her pulling her own teeth after some hard drinking, cursing Sam for being a pussy when he could not get her teeth out. “Kelly needed to think I was dead.”

“She is a shit liar, and she needed to respond honestly when asked about it. And I wanted to know how she would react, would she be happy or would she be sad, did she actually love me?”

You show how sad Shannon Elizabeth was when she thought JLo was dead, and a flashback to a lot of tender moments. Romantic hugs, deep and long kisses, once where Shannon Elizabeth braided part of their hair together for one sex scene. It was true love for her, she had a deep lesbian love for the young woman she would later find out was her half sister.

“I planned to live with Kelly long term…that fucking pig Duquette…fuck him.”

“The fucking cop Duquette, he had to die, for killing Davey, and for killing Kelly…” JLo continues. “She was my sister and a good fuck, my plan was to sail away with her, with how we look and the money we could have done anything we wanted down in the Caribbean. Fucking all day and night in the clear water down there with more money than we could spend…it would have been perfect.”

“Sam, well Sam was never in it for anyone but himself, he wasn’t even true to Kelly…” she continues. “He fucked Kelly’s mom, the other cop, his fiancé, and like six other girls in high school. He could never keep it in his pants or stay true to anyone.”

“And that moron wasted a million dollars of my money in just a few weeks, he would have never stopped fucking any piece of ass he could find, and he would have squandered my money…he had to go as well.”

“The lawyer, Ken?” He did his job, he helped me get the money into a numbered account and clean it, he did his job well…and I respect a man who is honest about having no scruples.”

“Who among us have any scruples anyway,” JLo continues, “as Nietzsche said, ‘There are no moral facts, only moral interpretations of facts.’ It was my money. I earned it, and my mom earned it, this was all my plan, without me none of this would have been possible…”

And with that the film transitions to the credits.

Your new version is a star studded cast with an improved budget, script and an academy award winning director.

It doesn’t win awards, but it is nominated for best film, best director, and best male and female lead actor. It wins none of them, but the nominations alone are a critical success story.

The original film had a budget of $20 million and made $69 million, your new version does better. It now cost $45 million for paying the new cast members more than whom they replaced, but it makes $165 million in theaters, becoming a surprise box office smash hit.