Wicked Game

My eyes are wide. “… what?” is all I can manage to say.

Miranda sighs. She still hasn’t let go of my collar. “John,” she says, “did you enjoy fucking me like I was your girlfriend?”

“Well, yes,” I admit.

“Do you wanna do it again?”

“… sure?”

She nods. “That’s why I’m gonna need you to be honest with me.”

“I… I don’t know what you’re –”

“John. I was there. I saw the orgy that you turned it into. I know people get laid at wedding receptions all the time, but the DJ damn well doesn’t get to fuck the bride’s mom’s face, in the church, while the bride is walking down the aisle. He doesn’t get to fuck the bride’s sister while she’s giving a fucking speech. He doesn’t get to make out with the bride at the fucking altar. And he especially doesn’t get to tell fifty women to line up and take turns eating the bride’s pussy while the groom fucks them!!! What. The fuck. HAPPENED.”

“Okay, fine,” I tell her. “I do know what happened, but I’m not really sure how to explain this.”

“Well… are you a fairy?” she asks.

“What?”

“Fairy! Elf! Magic goblin king or whatever! If I go home with you, will it be seventy years later when I wake up in the morning!”

I guess I already knew that she was planning to go home with me, but actually hearing her say it feels amazing.

“Uh… no, I’m human.”

She tilts her head. “Do you swear by your name that you’re human?”

“Do I what?”

“Swear by your name.”

What?

“I’m not sure what that means, but –”

“So you won’t swear by your name?” she says, and she sounds nervous.

“What? I mean, yes, sure, if it’ll help you feel better. I swear by my name that I’m human.”

She exhales. “Okay then. Is this like X-Men? Do I have to be afraid of giant killer robots?”

I shake my head.

“Are you Cupid?”

I blink. “The… the little baby with angel wings?”

“The Greek god of fucking. Or Roman, whichever. Do you have any memory of your life before like a year ago?”

“… I can remember back to when I was a little kid in Wisconsin, yeah?”

“Did you have any weird paranormal shit going on when you grew up?”

“Not that I know of?”

“Were you super horny as a teenager?”

I look at her. “I was a teenager, so… yes, by definition.”

“Okay, point taken,” she says, and we both laugh.

“Are you a –” she starts to ask, but then a few hundred feet away, a cop car drives by with its siren on, and I see Miranda remember that she’s nude from the waist down.

“Can you keep us from getting busted for indecent exposure?” she says hurriedly. “If a cop notices us, can you make him piss off? If it’s a girl cop, can you make her our fucktoy?”

I blink. “Our” fucktoy?

A few more cop cars go by, also with sirens on. I’m positive they’re not here for anything to do with us, but they do make me a bit nervous.

“No,” I say. “Not without the music and the… you know, party atmosphere. Uh, do you know why it didn’t work on you?”

Miranda shakes her head. Another cop car goes by, and I see her make up her mind.

“Let’s get in the car,” she says.

“Uh…”

She instantly looks suspicious. “What?”

“Could you maybe… at least put your panties on first? I know I’m the one who made your pussy such a drippy mess, but, I mean… my car seats?”

She scrunches up her face a bit. Then she reaches forward with her other hand and grabs my dick, and I suddenly realize that I’m nude from the waist down too.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

“What – where are my –”

She giggles. “You put them in the crate with the speakers. They’re in the trunk, along with my jeans. Did you seriously not –”

“No!”

“And you promise that if I let you go so you can get them from the trunk, you won’t disappear, poof?”

“What? How would I –”

“Do you promise?”

“Okay, yes, fine, I promise I won’t disappear! Also, I swear by my name, okay?”

She nods. “Will you give me the key so I know you won’t drive off without me?”

That one at least makes more sense as an idea, so I hand it over. She presses the TRUNK OPEN button and I go retrieve my pants – and, fine, Miranda’s jeans. She holds the key between her teeth, then leans against the car and stands on one foot while she puts her panties on. I sit on the bumper and put my underwear and pants back on too, then pass her her jeans.

“Thanks,” she says, and she wiggles her amazing ass as she squeezes into her jeans.

“Sure. Can I have the key?”

She smiles. “Once I’m actually in the car, sure.”

“You don’t trust me?”

She looks up at the night sky for a moment.

“John,” she says, and kisses me on the cheek, “you are an amazing lay, you made me cum so fucking hard so many times, you made me squirt… I almost never squirt… but we only met this evening. Also… I mean, all that magic psychic bullshit or whatever is incredibly hot and I want to see you do a lot more of it, but it’s also total fucking bullshit and I want to know more about what the fuck it actually is.”

I sigh. “I guess that’s fair.”

She shrugs. “I mean, I already trust you a whole lot – I trust you enough to go home with you, I trust you enough to let you fuck me any way you want, I trust you enough that I believe you when you said you wouldn’t get anyone pregnant. But all of those are based on – are you actually human, is this is all really happening, are you actually my perfect boyfriend instead of just an illusion of him, will you disappear if I stop paying attention. And I don’t totally trust that.”

“I’m your perfect boyfriend?!” I feel… I feel like I’ve been slapped in the face, except in a good way.

She winks. “Maybe. I wanna try, at least. You promise you’ll be honest with me?”

“Yes,” I say immediately. “I promise. Do you want me to swear by my name also?”

“Can’t hurt,” Miranda says, so I do it. She kisses me on the lips, and for a second I worry that she’ll still have my cum on her breath, but all she tastes of is mouthwash.

We keep kissing, and I get another erection almost immediately. She looks down at it and grins. “I only had one tiny bottle of mouthwash,” she says. “And – do you get tired like a normal human?”

“I’m still figuring this out,” I admit. “During the party, no, I don’t – or, not as fast. But we’ve left, so…”

“Yeah, makes sense. The idea of you fucking me on the hood of your car, I love that, and we’ll have to try it sometime, but I think our next time should be in your bed. If you make me cum so hard I pass out, I want pillows and blankets.”

I nod. “Hold on a moment,” I say, and then I walk around the car and open the passenger-side door. Miranda looks confused for a second.

“You said you wanted to get in the car first,” I remind her, and she blinks, then smiles.

“Oh! Right! Thank you!” she says, and gets in and buckles her seatbelt, then gives me the key. I get in too, buckle up, and we’re on our way.