Wick Martin, Game Show Host

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!" said the announcer, and "Welcome to..."

The studio audience all chimed in: "What's...In...My...Assssss!"

"That's right! I'm Tommy Stockton, and let's here it for your host, Wick, Martin!"

The audience erupted in applause. A good looking man in his early forties came out from behind a curtain. He wore a light gray suit, white shirt, and red time. "Thanks, Tommy!" he said with a big grin. "It's time for another exciting day of What's In My Ass, but today we have a special treat! But first, let's look at today's objects."

Wick walked over to table. Two beautiful women in evening gowns pulled off a silk sheet to reveal what was on the table: carrots, zuchini, cucumbers, candles, tootbrushes, large magic markers, screwdriver handles, small flashlights, and other phallic shaped objects. "My oh my, what a great selection. Thank you, ladies!"

Wick walked over to doctor's examination table. It was the type of table one would see in a colon and rectal center. It bent forward. "As I said, it's a special day here, tell us what it is, Tommy!"

"Right you are about a special day, Wick! It's What's In My Ass Celebrity edition!"

The crowd roared.

"Who is our first contestant?" asked Wick.

"Well, she's backstage, gagged, blindfolded, and handcuffed with no idea where she is, so let's bring out..."