Who wouldn't? The plan does not change.

Aktheus ran toward Sagus, brandishing his club. Sagus backed away, feigning terror at the overzealous actor. Aktheus swung again and again, each time missing by less.

"Relax, father. It looks convincing, but it could be a little faker," Sagus whispered. But Aktheus was becoming more and more caught up in the role and swung faster. After a few more swipes, he began using feints and luring the pirate into fighting back, believing he could turn it into a counter-attack.

"Plead for your life all you wish, vermin! For touching fair sister Monica, I shall give thee no mercy!"

"There is no way he just said 'thee'." Sophie thought. "Oh, come on now." She looked over at Monica, who seemed to be enjoying the performance. She could swear that nun was smiling...

"Not yet.....not yet...."

Aktheus and Sagus 'dueled' all around the room until they came back to the alter, in front of sister Monica. Aktheus raised his club and...

THUNK!!

He lowered the club to examine it. An arrow was lodged in it. He looked up at the window in time to see Rebecca jump away. "Her timing was flawless," the faux warrior-priest thought. "That had to have been the most convincing **** foiling ever witnessed! Sister Monica is as good as mine!"

Sagus suddenly dropped the fake sword he'd been using and raised his hand to halt Aktheus' increasingly sincere ****. "STOP! Please, father, I beg you to stop! We shall go, all of us! We are no match for you!" With that, he and Sophie fled in 'terror'. Aktheus played up the fact that he was out of breath to make it seem like he'd been hurt. When the 'bandits' had gone, Monica rushed to Aktheus' side.

"Father Aktheus! Are you hurt!?"

"I...I will be alright, my flower."

She smiled. "I should've known you would be. It's hard to get injured by a fake sword like that." Aktheus looked up at her, horrified that she knew and that the plan had failed. Oh, why did he put his love life in the hands of those mages?! What a fool he had been!

"I can't believe you staged that whole thing with those travelers just to impress me. It was sweet. Corny at times, but sweet." She smiled and, in her best 'grateful maiden' voice, continued. "So, brave hero, my savior, you may no claim your prize. A token of my gratitude." She leaned in and kissed him on the lips, gently. He was shocked at first. She knew, but didn't care? He wondered why she'd let him go through with it, but soon accepted that it had turned out well, and returned the kiss. She pulled away first.

"My dear sister Monica. Your sweet kiss has made the embarrassment of this farce worthwhile."

She winked at him playfully. "If that made it worthwhile, then consider this a bonus." She stood up and led him by the hand to his office. Aktheus was ecstatic at his good fortune and was forever grateful to those wandering mages and archer.