Who (who) you talking to (you talking to)?

“Allow me to explain our first event,” Dakota said with a cheery smile as she glided down off the stage. Her magic may have carried her, but she looked damn elegant as she did it. “Now, by count, there are an odd number of girls attending this party with… ahem. ‘Full benefits’ as it were, is that correct?” She asked, looking over the crowd of girls.

Recounting the order in which everyone entered the ballroom answered that handily. Amelia, Vivian, Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin, Ella, Kim, Dani, Carly, Marley, Rose, Morgana, Dawn, Sylvia, and Gina. Thirteen girls in all.

“…Which is a bit of a problem, because the first event involved pairing you girls off together,” Dakota said, shooting a pointed look at Gina. “It appears someone miscounted.”

She raised her eyebrow and Gina blushed, scratching her head sheepishly.

“Uh… whoops.”

“…With that being said, I believe there’s no sense in wasting a good idea, so we’re going to have one group of three,” Dakota decided. “Everybody else will be paired off with someone else. So if you would, my assistant will be passing around a hat. Everyone draw out a number, and you’ll pair up with whoever pulled the other number. But don’t open it yet, please. Wait until I finish explaining what we’re going to do. Nola?”

“Right! Yes!” Nola hastily dashed around the ballroom, showing little of the elegance and grace this party was meant to encapsulate. She was clutching a bright green top hat in her hand, filled with little folded-up slips of paper. As she did, Dakota gestured to Nick and the other judges to take their seats up on stage.

Of course, Nick sat in the center. Mary and Holly were on either side of him, with Serenity and Octavia, the outsiders, at the very ends.

“What exactly is this event?” Dawn asked curiously. “Gina wouldn’t say anything about it.”

“What, and ruin the surprise?” Dakota laughed. “Where would be the fun in that?”

“Isn’t that a little unfair, though?” Rose whined, crossing her arms over her chest. “I mean, she knows everything, and we don’t.”

“I know some!” Sylvia cheerfully declared.

Dakota laughed again. “…It’s her party,” she said bluntly. “She didn’t even have to invite you, you realize that, right?”

Rose winced and shrank back a little. “O-okay,” she mumbled.

She wasn’t the only one with concerns, though- just the only one bold enough to voice them. Morgana and Dawn were also bothered by the lopsidedness of this competition, and nobody could come close to being as nervous about it as Ella.

I knew this was a mistake! She fumbled for her wrist instinctively, but her rubber-band wasn’t there. I never should have left it behind!

After seeing the beautiful dress she bough, she convinced herself that just tonight, it would be okay with go without it. The rubber-band would completely ruin the beautiful, elegant appearance of the dress. And since Cinder was under control right now, she wouldn’t even need to use it tonight.

Already she regretted her decision.

When the hat was passed to her, she didn’t even realize she was taking a number until she did.

“So is this going to be a team competition or something?” Vivian cracked an eyebrow, amused. “What, like the sandcastle building contest?”

“It’s not a team competition,” Gina assured her, shaking her head. “It’s just something that we’re paired up for.”

“So can we open these or not?” Dani asked impatiently.

Dakota raised her hand. “In a moment. Before you check who you’re paired with, I would like to explain the first event!”

“Finally,” Dawn muttered, rolling her eyes.

“As this is a fancy, and classy party, it only makes sense for you all to make introductions with each other first,” Dakota declared.

“Introductions?” Mogana blinked. “But… we already know everybody…”

“Yes, and this is the perfect opportunity to get reacquainted!” Dakota said. “Each of you girls will pair up with whoever’s number you pulled. Once you’re all paired up, you will each introduce yourselves to one another. As for our group of three, you’ll each introduce yourself to one of the other people in your little group. And of course, your introductions will be graded on their class and elegance.”

“How exactly does that work?” Carly asked, confused.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin placed her hands on her hips and scowled. An introduction contest? How was she supposed to win that!? Her accusing eyes burned holes in the host, but Dakota ignored her.

“I also don’t get it, what, are we going to have to curtsy or something?” Marley wondered.

“You can if you like, but that’s not all of it,” Dakota replied. “Remember, this is a high society party. These will not be simple introductions! No, in high society, your social capital increases by how ruthlessly, yet politely, you cut each other down.”

It took a second for everyone to process that. Then Vivian stifled a giggle.

“Wait, so we have to insult each other?!” Dani exclaimed. “What’s classy about that?”

“Gina, what were you thinking? A competition like that?” Dawn demanded. “That’s so rude!”

“I-I thought it would be fun,” Gina sputtered. “It’s not supposed to be insulting!”

“And it’s not insulting,” Dakota said. “Outright insults would be quite boorish and pedestrian! No, to greet someone appropriately, you make yourself out to be superior to them, without directly scorning or deriding them. The greatest success will be measured by those who can make themselves look better in comparison without coming across as a bully. Let me show you for example. Oh, Nola?”

“Hm? Yes?” Nola turned to Dakota, only half-listening.

“I do so love your dress,” Dakota cooed, pressing her fingers together. “Green really is your color! You must have saved up quite a lot to afford such a wonderful ball gown!”

Nola blushed. “Oh, really? You mean it? Thanks!”

“There, you see?” Dakota turned to the other girls and gestured to the leprechaun. “I complimented her dress. But in doing so, I highlighted how poor she is, by insinuating such a nice dress was out of her price range and she needed to save up to buy it. But in the end, it was still a polite compliment, and we both ended the exchange happy.”

“Hey!” Nola snapped, turning red.

“…Well, happy until I pointed out the backhanded nature of the compliment, but you get the idea,” Dakota smirked. “Subtlety is the key! Remember, it’s not about hurting the feelings of the other person, it’s about being polite and asserting dominance! Direct insults are a no-no. And I’m sure our kind and considerate judges would just hate to see you girls get truly vicious.”

“I-I don’t like this contest very much at all!” Mary asserted, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m going to sit it out in protest!”

Serenity rolled her eyes.

“I agree, this seems a little mean-spirited,” Nick said. Because Gina had come up with the challenges, he’d been hoping that they’d be a little more kind. But Mary was right, this just sounded mean.

“I disagree. This is a vital skill to learn.”

Everyone at the judge’s table turned to Octavia at the end. She was sitting up straight with her piercing eyes forward, her lips pressed into a tight expression.

She turned to look at her fellow judges.

“This contest is not only about being ruthless,” she said. “It is also important to build resilience to such backhanded statements. The host is correct that dealing with such cutting remarks deftly and gracefully is a crucial part of presenting oneself in high standing. If you intend to integrate at all with Lady Carrington’s way of living, then it is vital that the women in your harem develop the tools necessary to adapt to such behavior.”

Vivian nodded proudly. “Couldn’t have said it better myself!” She giggled.

“I had thought to leave behind the most distasteful elements of high society,” Amelia said with a grim expression. She turned to Gina. “This really was your doing, then?”

Gina looked a little ashamed, but her features hardened. “I… I talked about it, with Octavia, after the laundry,” she said. “I asked her for advice on how to hold a high society party. Come on, guys, let’s just try it out. It could even be fun.”

“Gina’s right,” Rose nodded. “And we don’t even have to mean it, either! It’s just some fun teasing! I promise I’m not gonna go too far with anybody!”

Dawn raised her eyebrow. “Rose, your skin is thinner than anyone’s.”

Rose brightened. “Aww, thank you, Dawn! You’re right, it’s so smooth it’s practically translucent! See my glow?” She framed her face and batted her eyelashes.

Dawn sighed in exasperation. “…Okay, never mind, maybe you’ll be fine.”

“There’s still the problem of Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin, though,” Kim pointed out. “This challenge is unfair for her! She literally can’t compete because she can’t talk!”

“Eh, good point, I didn’t really think of that…” Gina said, frowning. “Dakota, maybe we should change it up a little? Or give her a pass or something?”

Dakota opened her mouth to reply, but the assassin’s sharp shake of her head caught her attention instead.

“…Oh? You want to go along with it?” Even the host sounded surprised. “…Well, if you insist,” she said to the nodding girl.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin smirked.

“Now, let’s have everyone present their numbers, shall we?” Dakota suggested. “Whatever number you have, that’s the order your group is going in first!”

As everyone checked their numbers, their names appeared on a big black screen overlooking the ballroom.

1. Dawn and Vivian

2. Kim and Ella

3. Gina, Morgana, and Carly

4. Rose and Marley

5. Sylvia and Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin

6. Dani and Amelia

“Oh, I’m going last?” Dani let out a small sigh of relief. At least she’d have plenty of time to study the other girls’ performances.

“First, huh?” Dawn sighed and her shoulders sagged. Talk about the worst time to be number one! And that’s who I’m paired up with? Vivian?

“What about us?” Carly asked. “We’re in a group of three, how does that work?”

“Like I said before, you’ll each make your introduction to another girl,” Dakota explained. “So for example, Gina, you’ll say something about Carly, Carly, you’ll go with Morgana, and Morgana, you’ll come up with some remarks about Gina. Make sense?”

The trio of girls looked tensely at one another, and nodded.

“Everyone have an idea then? Excellent!” Dakota applauded. “Judges, remember, make sure to give your best grade on how elegant and polite and mature they all were as they passive-aggressively assert their dominance, if you would?”

Nick still wasn’t comfortable with this. But if it was what Gina wanted, he was willing to give it a shot anyway.

“…Oh, and please don’t reveal any scores until all the girls have gone,” Dakota added. “We wouldn’t want people adjusting mid event to appeal to the judges, of course. It would unfairly advantage the ones going later to work off your feedback.”

That was a positive at least. And that way Nick wouldn’t have to feel bad justifying his answers. He half considered just writing a “10” for everybody and being done with it, but he wouldn’t do that. He had a form with all the names of the girls written down on it, and five boxes beside each one. Clearly, that was where he was meant to write down the scores.

“Then let’s begin!” Dakota declared. “Our first two ladies of the evening, Dawn and Vivian! Dawn, if you would please, introduce yourself to Vivian?”

“…Of course,” Dawn nodded as the other girls cleared away, forming a circle around her and the heiress. They all watched intently as Dawn turned to the taller brunette, wearing a smile on her face.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Carrington,” she introduced herself with a curtsy. “I’m Dr. Dawn Willowbrook. I apologize if my curtsy isn’t up to the standard of your learned pedigree, but I spent my time in school studying to become a doctor so I could make a difference in the world by helping others. I’m sure you understand.”

Dakota nodded approvingly as Dawn straightened herself out. She was still smiling politely even now.

Vivian nodded along with her, wearing a smile no less polite.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, doctor,” she replied, returning Dawn’s curtsy with one of her own. “And if you ask me, you don’t give yourself enough credit. I never would have imagined the esteemed Dr. Willowbrook I’ve heard so much about would be so young and charming! In fact, where are you practicing now? I might be interested in sending some business your way. The horses on my estate could always use the skilled care of an exemplary physician such as yourself.”

“Thank you for thinking of me,” Dawn replied. The two women exchanged tight smiles with each other, then stepped away.

“Lovely work ladies!” Dakota applauded. “What did our judges think? …Oh, but save the commentary to the end!”

“I don’t get it,” Mary said, confused. “I thought they were supposed to be insulting one another? They both sounded so sweet!”

“Oh, Mary…” Holly reached around Nick to pat her best friend on the shoulder. “You’re such a sweet little cinnamon roll.”

“I-I don’t understand, what am I missing?” Mary looked around, confused. She was completely lost.

Dakota snickered behind her hand and turned back to the crowd. “Shall we move on then?” She asked. “Our next pair, would Kim and Ella please come up?”

Kim wore a practiced smile on her face as she stepped out of the crowd, but behind that smile she was tense. She wasn’t ignorant of Ella’s situation in the least, and was hesitant to say anything to the other girl that could be too harsh.

As for Ella, the trembling latina couldn’t even curtsy properly. That was likely to cost her a few points as they exchanged physical greetings.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ella-dono” Kim declared, politely bowing as was the traditional style. She felt like gagging over the exaggerated Japanese she’d slipped in. “My name is Kimiko Lewis. I am most honored to make your acquaintance today. I hope my presence will not bring any offense to your humble self. I would most hate to upset you on such a wonderful occasion.”

Nice, polite, and just the slightest bit cutting. Kim didn’t expect to get a lot of points, but anything further than that would simply be too mean.

Ella, in contrast to Kim’s smooth delivery, sounded a little stilted. “Ahem, uh, yes, it… it is an honor to meet you as well, um, Kimmy-ko. D-dono? Um… Yes, you-you look very lovely this evening. Thank you for your introduction. I, uh, don’t know many people at this party. Everyone here is so fancy and pretty and so, so imposing, so, I-I’m glad that there’s someone normal here, too…”

Kim’s smile twitched. The point of the competition was to build yourself up, but Ella seemed to be going a different direction by dragging Kim down into the mud with her. But Kim didn’t say anything. She feared that if she did, Ella would break like an egg.

Dakota cleared her throat. “Yes, well, that was… really something. Moving on, our group of three. Gina? Morgana? Carly? You’re up!”

Gina didn’t hesitate to start things off. She’d been preparing for this, even if her mind was drawing a blank now that she was actually in the situation.

So she fired from the hip.

“Hello, my name is Gina DeAmico, I’m the host of this evening’s festivities,” she introduced herself to Carly. “And I must say, your suit is just wonderful! I wish I could have the confidence to wear such tight clothing, but light colors have never really fit me. I’m too self-conscious for that,” she giggled. “I admire your bold choice of outfit! It takes a special kind of person to go so firmly against the grain like that.”

“Thank you,” Carly replied with a smile. She turned to Morgana. “But if we’re talking bold choices, I must say, your dress in particular stands out! Morgana, was it? My name’s Carly Granger! Could you tell me, where did you buy that? I’m always looking for outfits that I can repurpose for cosplay, and you look lovely in that! Like a little porcelain doll!”

“Err… really? You like it?” Morgana was a little giddy. “Thank you, Carly. But Gina, your dress looks lovely too.”

“Oh?” Gina raised her eyebrow.

Morgana nodded, her red eyes shining. “It does! And I love what you’ve done with your hair! It’s so straight and silky! I’ve been experimenting with mine recently. Do you like the straight style? How many hours did you brush it to get it looking so luxurious?”

Subtle she was not.

Dakota had to resist the urge to burst out laughing as the three girls said their polite goodbyes. None of them even attempted to bow or curtsy, they all knew they’d make tremendous fools of themselves if they did.

“Now… Rose and Marley, if you would?” Dakota called up the next two girls.

Nick tensed. Rose and Sylvia were the two people he was worried about most here. Even if Rose did look rather sweet and adorable standing across from Marley. Although the brunette was sweet as could be naturally.

“Bonjour,” Rose said, stepping forward. She kissed Marley on either side of the cheek, then took her hand, and kissed that as well. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, mademoiselle. And might I say, you are such a lovely flower, I can hardly take my eyes off you. Oui, your sunny smile is so charming and innocent, it brings a song to my heart. How is it zat a lady of your exquisite beauty is on your own tonight? Oui, truly zat is a sin, no?” She kissed Marley’s hand one last time, and stepped back, staring warmly into the brunette’s blue eyes.

Marley’s jaw dropped and her face turned bright red.

“Err… ah…” She cleared her throat and did her best to reciprocate Rose’s greeting. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well, mademoiselle,” she replied, recovering nicely. “My name is Marley Granger. And if I may so, your English is excellent! Um… yeah. And you’re very pretty, too! Have- have you been to a lot of these parties before? That sounds like a lot of fun. This is my first, um… so you’re right, I-I haven’t met very many gentlemen callers as of yet… I’m sure you’ve met quite a few you could introduce me to, though?”

Rose’s serene smile didn’t move for a moment. The two girls stared at each other as Marley awkwardly fidgeted, until Dakota cleared them away.

It was the moment she’d been waiting for intently, after all.

“Next, Sylvia and Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin! Come on up,” Dakota called, her eyes shining. Sylvia’s eyes were shining too, as she walked up to greet the other girl.

“Hello there! My name’s Sylvia River! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” Sylvia greeted Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin with a gorgeous curtsy that nearly made Nick fall out of his chair. With how immature the former host had been acting recently, he had nearly forgotten how much showmanship was intrinsic to her very nature.

“I was admiring you from across the room, and I simply had to come make your acquaintance!” Sylvia continued. “Tell me, your ears, are they real? You look simply fantastic! Like an elf from a storybook! And so lovely as well. I must ask, have you had any work done? I’m not trying to be rude. But everyone could use a transformation or two to improve their natural beauty!”

…And yet, for all her showmanship, she had the subtlety of a bulldozer.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin raised her eyebrow. Then she smirked.

Dakota was doing all she could to avoid laughing as she indicated to the assassin that it was her turn next, and everyone watched intently to see what she would do. Nick sat on the edge of his seat.

Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin’s eyes slowly scanned up and down Sylvia’s body as if she was appraising her. Then, her tight-lipped expression shifted to an amused smile, and she held out her hand, palm facing down.

Sylvia blinked. “What, you… want me to kiss it? Okay, sure,” she shrugged, taking Augmented Synthetic Humanoid Assassin’s lace-covered hand and planting a kiss on it.

The assassin smirked.

“Well, that… sure was something,” Dakota said as the two of them parted ways. “Now we just need to make some room for our last pair of the evening, Dani and Amelia!”

As the two women faced each other, Nick soon realized that maybe this was another pair that was a bad match. Not because of Dani, but because of his stepmother.

Amelia may have been raised in high society, but she had quite a lot of trouble speaking tactfully. And Dani, well… not to think poorly about her, but he could imagine Amelia might have a thing or two to say about the tomboy.

And yet, much to his relief, the blue-haired woman was quite polite with her curtsy. Nick wasn’t sure he’d ever seen such a gesture from her, and it caught him completely by surprise.

“Lady Campbell, I presume?” Dani asked gently, straightening up. “My name is Dani Montenue, and it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I know that it must be hard for someone of your standing to spend the evening with us, but I’m glad you chose to do so. I could really stand to learn a lot from you, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to think so.”

That caught Nick by surprise, too, though it really shouldn’t have. Dani wasn’t the kind of girl who made cutting remarks, no matter how politely they were couched. Every word past her lips oozed sincerity.

Something Amelia picked up on.

“…You’re a very honest girl, aren’t you?” She noted, returning Dani’s curtsy with a perfect one of her own. “I admire that. Not everyone has the courage to be themselves in a place like this. So often we forget the importance of being honest to yourself, first. I hope you continue to do so.”

Her words were sharp, but they didn’t cut. Nick was pleasantly surprised, even if he had no idea how he should score either of them.

“Well… for the last pair of the night, that certainly was something,” Dakota mused. “I don’t envy the judges right now. They’ve gotta make some hard choices appraising these girls, and all I can say, is that I’m glad it isn’t me!” She giggled and shook her head. “Now, let’s see what scores our lovely young ladies will get!”