White's downfall

September 9, 10:00 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 1

Judge:

"Court is now in session for the trial of Ms. Maya Fey."

Mia:

"The defense is ready, Your Honor."

von Karma:

"Let's start already. Ms. Mia Fey, I look forward to tonight's news with great joy. The image of your defeated face will be transmitted all over the world!"

Mia:

"All over the world, huh? I had no idea I was that famous."

von Karma:

"Don't be foolish, you foolish fool foolishly struggling in vain, the famous one is me! I'm the prodigy who has never lost a case since becoming a prosecutor!"

Chance:

"Except for yesterday, right?"

That comment earned you a strike of von Karma's whip and a sneer.

von Karma:

"Recruiting among your former defendants, are we, Ms. Mia Fey? I didn't think you would replace Mr. Wright so quickly."

Mia's face hardened and the judge, feeling the atmosphere growing increasingly tense, quickly slammed down his gavel.

Judge:

"Well, Prosecutor von Karma, could you give us your opening statement?"

von Karma:

"There is no need for this waste of time, everyone in this courtroom is already familiar with the events. Today, we'll simply convict the true culprit using an irrefutable piece of evidence, as well as a new testimony."

Judge:

"I see. Then, would you please call your first witness to the stand?"

von Karma:

"Detective Dick Gumshoe! Get up there! NOW!!"

---

von Karma:

"Name and occupation, witness."

Gumshoe:

"Didn't we do this whole shebang yesterday alreadEEEK!?"

von Karma:

"I'm not in the mood today, Scruffy! Name! And! Occupation!"

Gumshoe:

"Sorry, sir. Dick Gumshoe, detective, sir."

Judge:

"Alright, Detective. You may proceed with your testimony."

---

Witness Testimony

Gumshoe:

"As soon as the phone call came in, I rushed to the scene! There were two people there already: the defendant, Ms. Maya Fey, and the pizza delivery guy, Mr. Chance Fortuna. I interrogated the two of 'em, then I arrested Mr. Fortuna. There was evidence pointing to Ms. Fey, but I had my reasons."

---

Judge:

"Hmm... Before we begin cross-examination, I have a question for you, Detective."

Gumshoe:

"Y-Your Honor?"

Judge:

"Why didn't you testify about this vital piece of evidence the first time!?"

Gumshoe:

"Well... Ms. von Karma told me that I was not to mention it, so YEOWCH!"

Von Karma's whip was too late, as the judge turned to her.

Judge:

"Prosecutor von Karma, what's the meaning of this!?"

von Karma:

"I had deemed that piece of evidence irrelevant at the time, Your Honor, and did not wish to muddle the proceedings. It seems like I was mistaken on this particular point."

Judge:

"I see. I hope this will not happen again, prosecutor von Karma. Now, the defense may begin its cross-examination."

Mia:

"Thank you, Your Honor."

---

Witness Testimony - Cross Examination

Mia:

"Let me cut to the chase, detective. You said there was evidence linking Ms. Fey to Mr. Wright's ****. I believe Ms. von Karma described it as irrefutable. What was that piece of evidence?"

Gumshoe:

"Right, sorry pal. Next to the victim, we found a piece of paper with the defendant's name written in blood on it. The blood on the note matched the victim's and we found blood on his finger. So it's pretty clear that Mr. Wright was trying to tell us who his murderer was."

Mia:

"Unfortunately, Mr. Wright didn't know my sister's name. Therefore, he could not have been the one to write that note."

von Karma:

"Oh? And how many people DO know your sister's name? Mr. Wright could have overheard it, considering he was working with you, but how many more could be in his situation? Not that much, I'd wager."

Mia:

"I'm afraid you're wrong, Ms. von Karma. Other people would have known Maya's name, I assure you."

von Karma:

"My my, how confident, Ms. Mia Fey. I assume you have the evidence to back it up?"

Mia:

"I assume you remember this, Ms. von Karma?"

von Karma:

"Miss April May, wiretap..."

Mia:

"Precisely. The wiretap she was using to spy on my phone calls. Including one I made regarding The Thinker, if you recall. A call I made to my sister."

von Karma:

"Th-that's preposterously foolish, you foolish fool! Are you accusing Miss May of being the murderer!? Let me remind you that it is her that called the police from her hotel room. How could she have done that if she was on the crime scene?"

Mia:

"Firstly, we don't know exactly when the **** took place. We have a rough time frame, given that Mr. Wright made a phone call at 8:37 PM and Miss May called the police at 9:03 PM, but the **** still could have happened at any time between those two phone calls, leaving ample opportunity for Miss May to kill the victim and go back to her hotel room. Secondly, and more importantly, we don't know for sure that Miss May worked alone. She could have given the recording to an accomplice who decided to **** Phoenix Wright."

Gumshoe:

"Umm, can I go now? You know, since the cross-examination is not about me anymore?"

Mia:

"I have no more questions for you, detective. Now, I believe you mentioned you had a new testimony, Ms. von Karma?"

Mia's cheek earned her a whip strike—fittingly on her cheek—but von Karma had nothing to say, and called her next witness to the stand.

---

von Karma:

"Witness, please state your name and occupation to the court."

White:

"You wish to know the title of my personage?"

von Karma:

"I wish to know your name."

White:

"Yes! That is what I said! Oh dear, do my locutions confuse?"

von Karma:

"Name!"

White:

"My name is Redd White. But my friends call me Blanco Nino. I am the CEO, or to use a more common term, the President, of Bluecorp."

von Karma:

"Now Mr. White, you were at the Gatewater Hotel the night of the **** with Miss May, correct?"

White:

"Indeed."

von Karma:

"And you witnessed the **** from there?"

White:

"That is exaccurate."

Mia:

"If Mr. White was a witness to the ****, why didn't he testify yesterday?"

von Karma:

"As a CEO, Mr. White is a busy man. Besides, I believe he had no interest in his presence there being known."

White:

"Well, I wouldn't say..."

Mia:

"And why did he not want his presence to be known?"

von Karma:

"Think, Ms. Mia Fey. A rich man and an attractive young woman renting a hotel room together... What do you think they were doing?"

Von Karma's words set the gallery ablaze with whispers and you were almost sure the judge muttered "Lucky bastard." If only he knew what I did yesterday... Though you had to admit, it was well played from the prosecutor. In two sentences, she justified White's presence and his silence and made sure no one would want to dig further. Eventually, the judge slammed his gavel.

Judge:

"Order! Mr. White, you may begin your testimony."

---

Witness Testimony

White:

"Let's see, it was about 9:00, I believe. I was quietly perusifying... er, that's reading to you, some papers by the window. Then I heard a bedlam coming from outside! Surprised, I turned to look at the building across the way. It was then I saw her: a woman in a kimono attacking a spiky-haired man! That woman is, of course, the defendant, Ms. Maya Fey. I called Miss May over at once. She, too, was flabbergasted of course. The victim, he... he ran away, but the defendant gave chase! Finally there was a terrible impaction! Then it was all over..."

---

Judge:

"Hmm... If things occurred as you testify, then I'm afraid the defendant is guilty. Very well, Ms. Fey... the lawyer one, I mean, not the defendant. Your cross-examination..."

Mia:

"Yes, Your Honor."

---

Witness Testimony - Cross Examination

Mia:

"Now, Mr. White, you said this took place at 9 PM. How can you be certain of the time?"

White:

"Because I am always abso-posi-lutely perfect, you know?"

Mia:

"I see. And you don't have a more substantial explanation?"

White:

"You are so mistrusting, Ms. Lawyer! Anyway, Miss May ordered room service for 9:00. It happened soon after the room service arrived."

Mia:

"Room service?"

White:

"Undoubtiably. I believe she wanted some iced coffee? Anyways, you can ask the bellboy to confirm what happened."

Mia:

"I do not believe that will be necessary. Speaking of Miss May, what was she doing while you were... perusifying your papers?"

White:

"She had just finished watching a soap opera on the TV, and was weeping openly. I, of course, was to busy for such trivialousness. It's called business after all, not idliness."

Mia:

"So this was a business trip?"

White:

"That's it and nothing more."

These words were accompanied by a glare towards von Karma.

White:

"Miss May is my personal secretary and our relationship is purely professional. I had some business to take care of in this part of town and I asked her to rent me a hotel room. Of course, I had no idea she was using the opportunity to wiretap your phone, Ms. Fey."

Mia:

"Of course. Then you claim you saw the defendant attack Mr. Wright..."

White:

"Not just claim, Ms. Fey. I have a perfect eyesight of 40."

Chance:

"I don't think you're supposed to add them together..."

Mia:

"Anyways. You then claim that Mr. Wright ran away. Can you be a little more detailed about that?"

White:

"Of course! Comprende! I understand! The victim was attacked by Ms. Fey, and ran to the left. The defendant gave chase, and struck him down!"

Mia:

"Mr. Wright ran to the left? Are you absolutely sure?"

White:

"I told you that I am always abso-posi-lutely perfect, didn't I? Of course I'm sure."

Mia:

"I'm afraid that makes no sense, Mr. White. Just look at the floor plans."

White:

"Hey, why is the killer in pink!?"

Mia:

"Focus, Mr. White. The important part is that the door is to the right. If Mr. Wright wanted to escape his killer, he would not have ran to the left."

von Karma:

"That might make logical sense, Ms. Mia Fey, but people are rarely logical in life-or-**** situations. Perhaps Mr. Wright simply forgot where the door was due to the stress."

Mia:

"That would be plausible had Mr. Wright not been familiar with the location but, as you might remember, he had been my junior partner for quite some time, now, and as such, would have been intimately familiar with the office's layout. Even under high stress, he could have never made such a mistake."

White:

"Very strange... I did see him run to the left... I did."

Mia:

"Allow me to present an alternative explanation. If you were looking from the window, then Mr. Wright running to the left would make no sense. If, however, you were looking on the other side, then the door would indeed be on your left and the victim would have been running in that direction. Therefore, I propose that you were actually standing there."

As she was speaking, Mia pointed to the pink dot, sending the gallery in hushed whispers.

Judge:

"Order! I will have order! Anyone disturbing the order of this courtroom will be held in contempt! Ms. Fey! What are you suggesting!?"

Mia:

"Simple, Your Honor. The defense moves to formally indict Redd White for the **** of Phoenix Wright!"

Von Karma didn't appreciate Mia's accusation and her whip made that quite clear.

von Karma:

"Are you out of your mind, you foolish fool foolishly trying to fool this court!? Mr. White took some of his precious time to testify about the **** of a promising up-and-coming lawyer, and you are trying to blame him for said **** in order to get your sister off?"

White:

"... Ho hoh hoh! You provide us with so much entertainment, Ms. Lawyer! The hilarity of the moment made me remember something... It appears I have been unclear, and for this, I apologize. Mr. Your Honor... Might I be allowed to testify once more?"

What is he trying to do now?

Judge:

"Very well, let's hear your revised testimony."

---

Witness Testimony

White:

"My testimony was correct... just incomplete! When the defendant assaulted the man, he first ran to the right. And then she hit him, savagely! Next, with the last of his strength, Mr. Wright ran to the left. Ms. Fey chased him, and delivered the final blow. That is what I mentioned in my previous testimony. You see? Your sister hit him twice!"

---

Judge:

"Hmm... That does seem to make sense. Will you be cross-examining the witness's testimony?"

Mia:

"I certainly will, Your Honor."

White:

"Oh oh oh, I doubt this will be a long cross-examination!"

Mia:

"I couldn't agree more, Mr. White."

I have no idea what she means by that, but looking at von Karma, it seems like she knows.

---

Witness Testimony - Cross Examination

Mia:

"So Mr. White, you claim that the victim was struck twice, correct?"

White:

"Do you have to repeat everything I say, Ms. Fey? It's starting to get a little tirennoying."

Mia:

"I take it that you didn't read the autopsy report, then. If you had, you would know that the victim died from a single blow!"

White:

"...!"

Mia:

"Your Honor, the witness is clearly lying."

von Karma:

"He is simply confused. Your Honor, the prosecution requests a short recess in order to calm him down and get the truth."

Mia:

"Or simply give him a chance to get his lies in order? I think not. Your Honor, Mr. White has admitted to be Miss May's employer, which would grant him the opportunity to listen to her wiretap, and he gave a testimony that indicates he saw the victim run to the left, which would only be possible if he was in the room with him. Surely, you can see that is suspicious!"

von Karma:

"So you say, but he also told us that the victim ran to the right, then to the left. Perhaps the defendant simply missed her first swing and only struck with her second. That would explain how Mr. Wright only suffered from one blow."

White:

"YES! Yes, that's... that's what actually happened. I was simply... mistaken earlier. I thought I saw the blow connect, but it is conspicobvious now that Mr. Wright dodged the attack."

Judge:

"I see. Well, this certainly explains things satisfactorily, wouldn't you agree, Ms. Fey?"

Mia:

"Your Honor, you can't possibly fall for that!"

von Karma:

"And what is your evidence that Mr. White is lying, Ms. Mia Fey? In fact, you didn't present any concrete evidence to dispel either his testimony or the note incriminating your sister earlier. You only mirrored theories and conjectures, but it seems you have nothing to actually prove your case. Your Honor, the prosecution requests that we move to the ruling."

Judge:

"I'm afraid prosecutor von Karma is right. Ms. Fey, if you don't have anything more to add..."

Mia:

"Your Honor, please, I have one more thing to add."

von Karma:

"You should learn when you are beaten, Ms. Mia Fey! Your Honor, I see no reason to entertain her **** attempts to gain some time."

Mia:

"Please, Your Honor. Just one last thing. I promise you, it will turn this case around."

The judge sighed deeply.

Judge:

"Very well, Ms. Fey. Though I have to warn you, if you fail to cast reasonable doubt on Mr. White's testimony—reasonable being the keyword here—I'll have to declare the defendant guilty."

Mia:

"Thank you, Your Honor. Now, I'll ask my judicial assistant to take the lead. Chance, you're up."

von Karma:

"Him? HA! You truly must be ****, Ms. Mia Fey, to rely on this amateur."

But you didn't listen. You took a deep breath and turned to White.

Chance:

"Mr. White, let's make a wager. I bet that you can't make a sentence using only words that are in the dictionary. If you win, Mia and I will withdraw our case and leave you alone for good. But if you can't, you'll have to answer any question asked in a courtroom with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Do you accept?"

White:

"I certainuredly do. You want me to make one measliful sentence without made-up words? That is extremely straightfortless for a man of culture such as me!"

Judge:

"Mr. White, I'm afraid that neither certainuredly, measliful nor straightfortless are actual words that exist in the dictionary. None of your sentences meet the requirements, which means you lose."

Chance:

"Thank you, Your Honor. So now, the truth. Who actually murdered Phoenix Wright, Mr. White?"

White muttered something unintelligible.

Chance:

"Louder, Mr. White. You're not getting out of this wager that easily."

White:

"I DID! I MURDERED PHOENIX WRIGHT! ARE YOU HAPPLEASED NOW, YOU WORTHLESS PILE OF SHIT!!?"

Chance:

"I am. Thank you, Mr. White."

Mia:

"Case closed, Your Honor."

Judge:

"Well, I see no reason to continue this trial. This court finds the defendant, Ms. Maya Fey..."