What the what?

“I said Welcome to Harem Beach!!!"

"Yes, that Harem Beach!

"Spin off of Harem Hotel?

"Cross-dimensional hit of the Grand Loomwork?”

Samson the lion-man stood on stage before an audience of 100 spring breakers who were an equal mix of confusion, fright and astonishment.

“Psssst, sir” a voice piped out of a drone to Samson’s side. “This world doesn’t get our broadcasts, they haven’t seen the show.”

“Oh….that could have been pointed out before I **** a beach party.” Samson batted the hovering drone away with a great manicured paw, puffed his chest and turned back to the crowd. “Oh boy you crazy kids, I wish I was in your place today because you only get to learn about the greatest show in all Grend-kind once! My name is Samson the Frell, and as of this moment each and every one of you are promoted to the vanguard of your species, you lucky little monkeys! Instead of spending your spring break drinking and fornicating, you are competing for the ultimate wish on a game show!!! ROAAARRRRRRR!!!”

The crowd mumbled nervously.

“And as a special bonus, we’ll wipe out your student debt.”

The crowd erupted like Mt. Vesuvius hosting the Beatles. Men and women cried, hugs were exchanged with abandon and the boom of cheers threatened the stability of the stage.

“And that’s not all, oh no! Harem Beach is about so much more than the grand prize, every single person on this beach will have their lives changed, winners and losers together. But also, the prizes!

"Detailed copies of the rulebook will be made available for you nerds out there, but for those of us who are ready to get the party started the only rules that matter are that harems rule, the audience loves a fighter, and just like in bed nobody wins on their own!”

What the fuck? Beth mouthed to Amber.

Harem? Like….sex? Amber mouthed back.

“On Harem Beach, anyone can become the master of their very own loving harem. Yes even you ma’am, although I would suggest you work on those bangs first! We’ll see harems form and crumble, lovers made and lovers spurned, empires of nubile, lust crazed worshipers rise to the pinnacle of sexual frenzy and fall to the frigid depths of abstinence!

"Through 5 rounds of events you’ll be separated into harem masters, harem members, and unaffiliated freelancers. But don’t worry, nothing is set in stone and even the lowliest scum has a chance to turn their fate around. Until the season wraps that is!

"Once harems have formed they will compete with each other for dominance. Yes that’s right, this isn’t your usual harem show where contestants simply vie for the comfiest spot in the big bed, this is an all out harem war! It will be up to you to make sure your harem is the best of the best, with the opportunity to prove it over 5 rounds of competition."

_Run for it? _Beth mouthed. Amber didn't have an answer.

“I know what you’re thinking. 'Samson, I’m an insignificant speck, there’s nothing special about me to offer a harem.' Well you’re right, but as always this season will be packed full of transformations decided by competitions, end of round audience voting, and even through bonus points that can be earned by your harem or even by freelancers. Think you or your fellow competitor would be better with a tad more devoted lust or more distinguished calves? Well just head on down to our transformation chambers and pay the BP fee, simple as that!

“But I’m rambling, bad habit but you hand a showman a microphone and that’s just what happens. We’ll get to all the rules as they come, but I don’t see any reason to not get started. Who’s with me?”

Some of the crowd stayed silent, a few people yelled “no” or “let us go!”, but almost half cheered or whooo’d.

“Come on people, I said WHO IS WITH ME!!??”

That got the reaction Samson wanted. Even Marcus yelled out support, followed by Chris who nervously looked at the quiet Romeo for rapport. “What, it sounds wild?” Chris said and Marcus clapped him on the back.

“That’s more like it fellow bi-peds!” Above Samson the jumbotron switched from a closeup of his gleaming fanged smile to an overhead shot of a tropical island surrounded by flawless blue sea. “This is Harem Beach, and for the next 5 rounds this island paradise is your home and battleground. Learn it well, the difference between victory and defeat is all right here.”

From his breast pocket Samson revealed a clam shell, about half the size of his prodigious paw, and a closeup inset appeared in the corner of the jumbotron as he held it high. The flawless black shell gleamed in the tropical sun and showed off a white palm tree stenciled on its face.

“On this island are hidden ten shells just like this one, and inside each is an insignia designating it’s wearer as one of our first round of harem masters. The round ends in 4 hours or when each shell has been claimed, so get to it harem hunters and make me proud. Remember, on Harem Beach the only limit to the party is your will to survive.

GO!”