What the Hell

“I don’t think he likes me,” David said as he set the table, something he’d complained about to Erica many times.

“You’re fine,” she answered from the kitchen, “he’s fine too. It’s just his way when I like a boy. He’s never been…warm with them.”

David had heard that from her before, but he had hoped by now that the story had begun to change. They’d been together for quite a while, and David didn’t plan on going anywhere. In fact, one secret that he held close to his hear was that he was planning on asking Erica to marry him later that year, once he’d saved enough for the ring.

And he was sure she’d say yes, too. He couldn’t wait to see her coming down the aisle in a beautiful white wedding dress, perfectly matching the one he had on.

“Besides,” Erica said, bringing in the cutlery, “I think he’ll like the new you. This new masculine thing you’re doing really works for you.”

David didn’t think she was wrong. His pink minidress was just about masculine as anything he’d ever worn before. And the pink platform heels made him tower over the world. He felt like a basketball player, or a professional wrestler. The look on Erica’s dad’s face when he arrived would be priceless.

“And my mom likes you,” Erica continued, “she’s told me so. You’ve got that going for you.”

So it wasn’t as dire as David thought. Looking at the table, five settings all perfectly arranged. Two for Erica and him, two for her parents, and of course the west of honour for their special guest, their true lifelong friend, the Amazing Alex, who was watching tv and enjoying a cold beverage in the other room.

While David still get nervous, with the Amazing Alex around everything would be alright. His friend had that way about him, making David feel good about himself, about the world around him. There was nobody he trusted more, no person’s opinion he held in higher regard, than the Amazing Alex. And he was sure that Erica felt the same way.

Then it came. A knock at the apartment door.

“Seriously? How do I look? Do I need to freshen my lips?” David momentarily felt panic, “maybe my perfume is too much.”

“You’re fine!” Erica laughed, “Oh my god! Honestly, you’re as bad as a teenage girl on prom night! Now go answer the door and welcome my parents in.”

Sterling his courage, David turned on his heels and, placing one foot before the other in his new catwalk manner, he found himself in front of the door. Placing his hand on the deadbolt, he took and deep breath, unlocked and opened the door to see his (hopefully) future in-laws.

“What the hell?!” were the first words he heard from Erica’s father’s mouth.