What’s the next question?

What do you like?

“Do you like it when men play with your nipples? Touch them? Suck on them?”

“They’re sensitive, and I wonder why men get so excited about it. It’s weird, because they’re so grateful for the big opportunity, and they almost always tell me my boobs are perfect, but then they suckle as if I’m the mom, and they’re my baby, which is a bit of a turnoff. I guess I feel uncomfortable with all the attention—I’d rather be the more active one, which fits with giving the blow jobs.”

“How do you feel when someone is licking your clitoris?”

“Well, I generally steer clear of it. The only time I’ve ever let anybody go down on me for more than about 2 seconds was that freshman roommate, who’s a lesbian and certainly knows her way around the ol’ vagina. But I still opted for a single this year, partly to get away from her.”

“Do you shave your pubic hair?”

“Well, it’s not like I have a strong philosophical position on the matter, but I generally trim it. Last week, I shaved it all, it was kinda impulsive. It felt fun, a little Lolita-ish, thought of course the real fictional Lolita was way back when, the 1950’s?, and so she’d not have thought about shaving.”

“I’d never given that much thought.” Michael paused. “Do you have orgasms?”

“By myself, yes.”

“How do you masturbate?”

“Well, I penetrate myself with a small, pink dildo. I twist my nipples towards the end.”

“Do you like the pain?”

“It puts me over the top, but not gratuitous, mean pain, or pain at the beginning, or pain from someone who’s a dick about it.”

“What do you fantasize about?”

“Butterflies and sugar fairies.”

We laughed.

“No, really.”

She hesitates. I wonder if the rule book effects could be wearing off.

She leans into me, “my mind is blank for most of it, but the fantasy is about losing control, about being ****.”

“Okay. Tell me more.”

“Look, I’m a strong person, so don’t take this the wrong way, but there’s something about being **** by a strong man, by someone who knows what he wants, that gets me weak in the knees. And there’s something about being embarrassed and a little humiliated and in some pain that puts me over the top, but I’ve never been in an actual situation where those things didn’t feel a little ridiculous.