Chapter 36 by Zingiber

How do things start for lunch?

What can Joe do with a tipsy lawyer or two?

"I'll buy, I'll drive, because my limit is one," Anne says. "Do as you will, Counselors. Stop at two, Joe."

Anne's everyday drive is a white sports utility vehicle. You know it rather well because you've been Ms. C's car wash and wax boy as well as her coffee boy, foot rub boy, home pedicurist, bikini trim assistant, equipment roadie, and after-dinner fuck boy.

You love it. If this is what being Mr. Joseph Campion, consort to Anne "oh fuck it, Joe, prong me again you horny boy" Campion is going to be like, then being Anne's **** fuck and oopsie baby daddy was the luckiest day of your young twentysomething life.

How could Anne's ex have thrown her over for, as Anne said, "one of the crazy little BITCHES he was DIPPING it into when he was supposed to be her therapist."

Well, in six months you'll also be overnight infant care. "Catch up on your sleep, Joe," Dr. Lulu Vega advised you. She always has a twinkle in her eyes when you see her, because Anne loves to talk up your big cock to Dr. Vega during her appointments. Lulu has handled you there, but gloved up for an exam, just regular doctor stuff. But you're the only male patient at Dr. Vega's clinic for women's general and sports medicine, says her receptionist. Special favor to Anne.

Ulva Lupino's other shoes are high-top athletic training shoes with a thick cushiony sole, in black, of course. She's as tall in these as her two-inch dress heels. She sits in the front passenger seat beside Anne, while you're behind Anne and Edith Sandoval is next to you, behind Ulva.

It turns out that both lawyers grew up as big fans of the old TV series, LA Law. On the way to El Gringo Loco, they're chatting away about their favorite characters and stories.

Your friend Mona works at El Gringo Loco. She finds you a table in the large outside space.

Mona takes your drink orders. Edith gets a margarita. Ulva orders a cocktail with Italian bitters and soda that shows up as a scary looking clear dark orange drink. Anne has a gin and lime drink in a tall glass with lots of soda water. Mona jokes about getting you a Shirley Temple, as the obvious youngest person at this table full of cougars, but you get the same drink as Anne.

The ladies are chatting away like famous old friends at a reunion, talking about getting their starts in law, or in Anne's case, what brought her across the ocean and why she married "the cheating bastard".

Anne stares at her drink. "I was a crazy little bitch back then, swimming and bodybuilding and strung out on uppers and too much protein powder and nothing much else. I suppose John has a type, and I grew out of it. He wants fresh young disasters."

"Do you have a type, Joe?" Ulva asks you.

"No."

"Come on, come on, you like older women, Joe," she teases. "That's what got you here." She waves a hand round the table. "Smart and strong and knowing what they want." She pauses, then stage-whispers, "Your big dick."

You cringe inside. It's kind of what Sharon told you when she broke it off. That your big dick was all you were good for.

As to older women, even Anne had teased you about getting hard for the old cows in water aerobics. But that was more, well, twenty to seventy looked good to you, if she looked like she was up for fun.

Anne pats your shoulder. "His prick is a nice thing, yes, a natural work of art, and he's good with it. But Joe cares about me. He shows up. He always wants to make me happy, even when I'm sharp and cross with him." She hugs you from the side. You feel a pop from your back. "I love you, Joe."

She'd told you, Even if it's his, marry me anyway, Joe. I want you. Even if I don't have you by the balls, marry me.

"Yes I said yes I will yes," you say.

Ulva's penciled eyebrows lift high. "Ah ha ha, does that make you Molly to her Leopold? James Joyce's Ulysses? Joe, you have unplumbed depths."

Anne had you and her reading it to each other. It was pretty crazy to read, but made more sense read aloud, and Anne loved Molly Bloom's yes yes yes speech. "She's cheating on Leopold, but at least she does love him, you know? But she was a singer and her lover flatters her, he brings all that back and makes her feel alive. She wants to feel alive."

Add "Anne's English Literature student" to all the other jobs you had with her.

"No, Counselor," Anne says, "I'm Molly to his Stephen, if Stephen were a pretty boy who wanted desperately to please."

"By the balls, Anne," Ulva says. "You have him by the balls."

You're thinking the same. Anne has you by the balls. She needs you and wants you and is holding on tight. Marry me anyway. But Anne is not and will never be a ball-buster. Ulva? She glories in it.

Your lunch orders arrive, and give you a break from being vivisected by Ulva and Anne. Edith Sandoval has been following along, sipping her margarita and looking amused, like she's going to break out in a smirk at any moment. Her gardenia is still pinned in place on her jacket lapel.

Things slow down while your mouths are full. Ulva has a steak salad. Edith has the enchilada plate Christmas style with red and green chile salsa. You and Anne split a fajita plate and amuse yourselves wrapping up soft tacos from the sliced and grilled assortment and feeding them to each other.

"You and Joe are disgustingly cute," Ulva tells Anne. "My blood sugar is pegging the meter getting just watching you two play mommy and baby bird with each other."

But her voice is on the edge of a laugh, not the edge of a knife.

And fortunately for you, Ulva and Edith get into it about TV shows again. Different takes on the love affairs bubbling in the back rooms at LA Law.

Another margarita for Edith, another Italian cocktail for Ulva, and more TV chat. Gossip about the cast and where they were now. Ulva and Edith leaning close together, lawyers laughing about cheating lovers.

"No, you did?" Edith Sandoval says to Ulva. "With Joe? You didn't." She looks at you, a little shocked. "Say it isn't so, Joe."

"She got me before Anne did. I guess you didn't get the whole story, huh? Anne set me up with Ms. Lupino, her divorce lawyer."

"Yes yes, ah..." Ms. Sandoval says.

Her eyes go vague. You can practically see the legal ethics wheels spinning behind her eyes. They halt when the bearings seize up. Her head tilts. She stares.

"Joe?" she says. "You had sex with Anne's lawyer? Before your first time with Anne?" She blinks, takes a breath, and drains her margarita. "Oh, I suppose it wouldn't matter." She blinks, shakes her head, and turns to Ulva. "Was he good?"

“YES." In stereo from Anne Campion and Counselor Lupino.

Edith Sandoval gazes into your face. You smile and give her a faint nod. She looks to Anne. "Excuse me, I need a minute."

"Go powder your nose, Counselor," Anne says.

Edith goes by the bar. Mona points her to the ladies' room.

"Joe, do you want to invite her to the afterparty today?" Anne says. "Sarabeth can't make it, and we know you're good for three goes. I want to see you prong Ms. Sandoval. She's been a good lawyer for you. Throw her a thank you fuck. From me. Why Joe. you're blushing."

Roll +HOT(+2) using MAKE HER BEG on Anne and Ulva, with GROUP SEX allowing a roll at no penalty: 6+2 = 8, Anne and Ulva each beg you for one thing.